Biblical Relevance

It is hard to find the relevance of the NBA Finals between the Lakers and the hated Celtics while BP is turning the Louisiana bayou into a parking lot for the next millennium. This biblical environmental disaster shows no signs of abating. It is surprising that there was so little disaster planning before drilling five miles into the sea a hole the size of a dinner plate to uncork ancient, pressurized toxins that will kill everything for a lifetime if anything goes wrong? We cannot fault BP on their response since the disaster but there did not seem to any preparation for a disaster in this high risk endeavor. New Orleans is going to need to win another Super Bowl soon!

The NBA Playoffs when the Lakers are playing the Celtics is always relevant. There is history that was written long ago that will be relived over the next few weeks. The origins are from our youth but recent history is the litmus test. It will be a marathon defined 24 seconds at a time. The Yard is a Laker Honk that has been defined irrationally over a lifetime. Yard reporting is not unbiased. We only strive for relevance. Relevance is more of a guideline than a strict policy. Bias is a policy.

The Celtics paced themselves into the playoffs peaking at the right time for a deep playoff run after a largely irrelevant regular season. The Celtics lost as many home games as the Lakers lost anywhere. Boston lost by 29 at home to the Cavaliers before vanquishing them. They lost two in row to Orlando before squashing them. The Celtics are who we fear they are. NBA games in June are for the chosen and the Lakers are this year.

The Celtics are first team all sneer. Ray Allen creaks out that half smile past the chip on his shoulder all game. Rajan Rondo fronts the defense with a chin that Jay Leno is jealous of. Rahseed Wallace and Kendrick Perkins are technical fouls on demand. Paul Pierce is never happy about any call or the 36 random hairs growing on his face. The Celtics can win any game as well as lose it. Boston will be playing with the fear of “we will never pass this way again” mortality. Kobe feels that way also but it does not always appear that he has a quorum among the playing eight that it takes to win a championship.

The Lakers stumbled into the playoffs with enough disinterest to fill a high school English class in late May. They were giving up the leads, they lost to lesser teams, at home and on the road. Andrew Bynum was injured. Ron Artest was consistently missing unnecessary 3 pointers. Kobe brooded and Phil reminisced.

Three weeks later, the Lakers are giving up leads to lesser teams. Andrew Bynum is injured. Ron Artest is taking misguided treys and Kobe is brooding. The Lakers have lost on the road but they have not lost at home. Phil has had the best sound bites through it all.

The Lakers will have home court and they will need it to bring Kobe his 5th Championship. Ron Artest has done a number on Paul Pierce this season and that will be the difference. Artest brings an unpredictable psyche of defensive pressure that is a subtle drain on Pierce one possession at a time. The Celts play better when Paul gets his. He will not this time and he will play frustrated. Kobe will be in Rondo’s head from the opening tip. Derek Fisher trying to guard Ray Allen is a mismatch but Fisher has been brilliant in the playoffs. Paul Gasol is a different player than when Kendrick Perkins pushed him around two years ago and Bynum did not play. Rasheed nor the rest of the bench is an upgrade over the players that that were on that championship team.

The Celtics bragged at the 2008 ESPY’s at Staples Center about how awesome they were by winning that championship. Bill Russell has been bragging on ESPN all week about how awesome they were. Kobe has been seething for two years to get to this moment. He wants the stage, the title and his place in history.

Celtic Fan, 1984 and 2008 only come once in your lifetimes. The Celtics upset Laker Showtime in 1984 with Gerald Henderson and Dennis Johnson earning their shamrocks along the way. In 1985 and 1987, Showtime closed out the Celtics in six games and finally celebrated on the parquet in 1985. In 1987, a tearful Larry Bird conceded that Magic Johnson was the greatest player he had ever seen. The Celts never made the finals again until 2008. In 2010, none of these greenies will concede who Kobe has become but he will win his fifth championship while the Celtics go into another 20 year tour of basketball irrelevance. Son, enjoy the past, the future is purple and gold.

Beyond the arc: We support the NFL’s choice and we look forward to seeing all of those Hollywood Celebrities shilling their new series while shivering in their seats. We would love to see the Rolling Stones shaking more than Keith Richards does on Monday mornings. We will be thrilled to coalesce into our sofa, drinking $1 beers watching corporate America shell out $1000 a seat for a frigid football game. And if the economy is still in the tank in 2014, it is going to take more than a Super Bowl to save NYC.

Is it just us or does Floyd Landis get creepier by the day? He spends millions defending himself against doping charges after winning the Tour de France in 2006. His defense is surreal including a last minute blackmail attempt of Greg LeMond threatening to expose that he was sexually abused as a child. He writes a book proclaiming his innocence. Then after fighting for nearly four years, he admits he did dope and everyone else did including Lance Armstrong! Floyd Landis is a whack! Is it just us or does it seem odd that nearly everyone that one testicle Lance beat for seven straight years in the Tour has been accused or indicted for using performance enhancing drugs? Lance was “clean” and he went on the beat all of the dirty guys for seven straight years?! Guys that were younger than him and using EPO, and HGH and blood transfusions and Lance did none of that and beat them all? Wow, now that’s incredible!

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. ~Plato