Monday, September 28, 2009

September Promise

September College football is exciting and unpredictable. USC has lost to an unranked Pac-10 foe early almost every season of late. The Trojans have never lost another game in any of those seasons. They have overcome the upset and been in a BCS game each season. The Trojans did not look like a contender against woeful WSU on Saturday night. BCS titles are not won in September and with road games at Cal, at South Bend and Oregon on Halloween, the Trojans have a rugged road with their freshman QB. Rick Neuheisel had a nice Saturday night at home with his family. He awoke on Sunday as the only unbeaten head coach in the Pac-10. It does not happen often and it may end before next Sunday but Ricky is one up on the Peter this week.

There was drama at the end of last season when Utah finished 12-0 yet finished 6th in the final regular season BCS Poll. The Utes did not make the championship game and then demolished a 4th ranked Alabama team 31-17 in the 2009 Sugar Bowl. The Banner of Heaven and Utah Senator Orrin Hatch had expressed outrage with the BCS system and how unfairly the great state of Utah had been treated. Recently, Hatch publicly debated that the BCS Series violated antitrust laws and was “un-American”. Utah and BYU opened the season with solid wins and the discussion murmured louder with each passing week.

On September 19th, 18th ranked Utah got stuffed by unranked Oregon 31-24. Later that afternoon, Florida State went in to Salt Lake City and stiff armed the # 7 BYU Cougars 54-28 faster than you can find a drink with two ounces of alcohol in downtown SLC. Senator Hatch, there is nothing more American than 54,000 fans at Autzen stadium in Eugene, Oregon watching their beloved Ducks put a hurt on the Utes. Bobby Bowden and his Seminoles hammered the last nail into the coffin of BCS small conference outrage for the 2009 season. “We got your antitrust laws right here, Orrin!”

Dodger right fielder Andre Ethier is the MVP of the Dodgers and at least in the discussion for the NL MVP after Albert Pujols. He has six walk off hits this year, more than any major leaguer. He might have made his most valuable play on defense this past week. Ethier fielded an 8th inning single while the tying run had already been recorded racing home from second base. When two bounces would cost a run and maybe a game, Andre fired a one-hopper to nail Willie Harris at the plate preserving a one run lead. Broxton pitched a 1-2-3 ninth to cap the victory. In a tight pennant race, September wins are golden. Wins on September 25th are valued like cat lives…by seven.

It has been uglier than the G-20 in Pittsburgh for the Dodgers. Sunday, the Dodgers gave up a three run lead in the 9th and lost a game that would have clinched the division. This afternoon, Pirate 3rd baseman Andy LaRoche went five for five with six RBI’s in a “thanks for trading me to the Outback, Ned” kind of day for this ex-Dodger. Next year could be the Dodgers real opportunity but this year, we like their rhythm and gnash. Rafael Furcal could be the man that sets the table for that lineup.

OT: Lamar Odom married Chloe Kardashian this weekend or so the story goes. Chloe being part of the Laker family is scarier than Ron Artest joining the team. The Kardashian women have had a 100% negative impact on all male athletes. Olympic champion Bruce Jenner looks like Joan Rivers older brother since marrying into the family. Reggie Bush struggles only intensified under the power of Kim Kardashian’s snapping gyro. LO is the coolest cat on the Lakers and could be a radio DJ if he was not an integral cog in the Laker dysfunctional smooth running machine. Chloe is a poser wannabe and not even close to the best looking Kardashian biatch. We would do the mom before Chloe but all of them require a six mil protection shield with foam. Who are these people?

Double OT: The Yard summer interns meticulously reviewed the Serena Williams verbal meltdown at the 2009 US Open. Serena’s aggressive, expletive laced shout down directed at a line judge was unprecedented in female sports let alone the gentile rules of tennis. Yard interns felt that with Serena in their face threatening to shove a fu--ing tennis ball down their fu--ing throat, if they were the line judge, they would have rescinded the foot fault and given her their wallet. It was a scary moment for all involved.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Hope and change from the Yard.

The unparalleled investment in hope by the US government to affect change is giving us pause about what the return policy is on hope. The Yard did not have much hope there would be change but we absolutely had no idea how expensive hope could be. At this point of the discussion, we are not sure if we can even hope to find any change left under the sofa cushions.

The college football season has begun and baseball is in that classic season where legends are made. UCLA is a university of hope and discovery. We hope Ricky the Neu and Norman of Chow discover a running game. We could not hope for much more than that except maybe a little more urgency from the NCAA with their investigation of USC. The Dodgers seem to now have 27 pitchers on their staff as they crawl towards the October lights. None of them seem to be a guy who we can hope will win two playoff games under playoff pressure. There are many good stories for the Dodgers and Manny is not one of them.

The most secure job in sports reporting today is legal analyst. The NFL alone requires a 24/7 break down of the X’s and O’s of the NFL wide receiver in the wild on his way to the club. Poor judgment is an audible that is called often after 1:00 AM. Alcohol, hand guns and strippers is a linear progression that ends with policeman, witnesses and victims. If anyone named Palixico or PacMan shows up at your BBQ in a shimmer suit, call the police before you serve them drinks.

Rick Pitino and John Calipari have become almost interchangeable personas. They are NCAA basketball legends with east coast roots and patterns of success, mutual spite and most recently, scandal.

Media savvy Pitino made references to 9/11, the war, and the economy during a press conference about why he allegedly financed a $3,000 abortion for a woman he had sex with at an iHop in Louisville. Rick asked the media to move on to the more important issues at hand and not his marital indiscretions. Mrs. Pitino had a lot more questions and they were not about the hope and the change.

Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari took the higher road of silence with his scandal. He has taken two different schools to the Final Four. Each of those teams were investigated and penalized by the NCAA for violations committed during these seasons. Each school was stripped of their victories for that season and the tournament. In each case, Calipari had already leveraged his ill gotten success to a better job before the sanctions came down. The alleged athletes, Marcus Camby and Derrick Rose, also prospered, moving on to the NBA and also were never were penalized. The Yard only respectfully requests that the semifinal bitch slap of the Bruins in the 2008 National Semifinal by Calipari’s Memphis Tigers be overturned with extreme prejudice. Calipari is snipe hunting in eastern Pennsylvania and was unavailable for comment.

Brett Farve was in the news cycle all summer. It was surprising to see Brett’s reaction when a member of the media asked him if his deliberately late arrival had caused a schism in the locker room. It was surprising to the media that Brett would be surprised and react negatively to that question. The Yard was surprised that Brett apparently knew what the word schism meant!

Extra Innings: Giant fan is up in the Yard grill about the Giants still being in the hunt for the playoffs in September. The Yard was relentless in April and we never expected to see the Giants trading for players at the deadline in September. They will be formidable if they get to the playoffs with that starting rotation. Their September schedule is not very forgiving and we hope Brad Penny does for the Giants what he did for the Dodgers and the Red Sox.

We are thrilled that USC is starting their heralded freshman quarterback Matt Barkley. First, hopefully the next two heralded QB’s that are now considering USC might think twice with Barkley starting for the next 3-4 years. No football team has ever won a national title starting a freshman at QB. Lastly, Barkley threw 18 picks last year against high school defenses playing all of his games in southern California. Hostile crowds and D1 defenses await your young arm in Columbus, South Bend, Eugene and Berkley, young Barkley. 8-3 is not a good season in the hood.

Last note: If you get the chance this season, go to a Loyola High School football game. Senior Cub tailback Tony Barr is rated the #1 tailback in the state and being recruited by everyone. At 6’4” 230 pounds with break away speed, he is a man amongst boys who rushed for 1800+ as a junior. He has NFL skills and you can say you saw him now! Junior QB Jerry Neuheisel, yes that Neuheisel, is just like his father not being recruited by anyone but scrappy and efficient. Loyola head coach Jeff Kearin is a good friend of the Yard who has experienced a year of personal tragedy that no one should have to endure. It is good team with great stories. Go Cubs!

“One who has never hoped can never despair.” George Bernard Shaw