Thursday, November 28, 2013

Lane Memories

It has been a scary week at the Yard. We had cancelled our USC acid reflux prescription when we friended Lane Kiffin on Facebook in September. USC has never fired a coach in mid-season and as miserable as USC had played, our Kiffin seemed safe for the balance of the season or at least through Thanksgiving weekend. Lame felt the same when he met Pat Haden on the tarmac at LAX that fateful fall night. His passing did not seem fair to Bruin nation without a moment of silence and reflection. Kiffin was our hero and many would have expected USC to digress into diffidence and malware. Kiffin disappeared as he had at every other job. Interim head coach Ed Ogeron was never expected to right the offense and Traveler VI. With all of the Obamacare capitulations we felt we could cut back on that med until the Republicans regained control and did who knows what. Alas, we digress...we need our USC meds this week and it does not appear that we can log onto the website in a timely manner to receive these gastrointestinal medications prior to kickoff. There was only hope for persistence when the Yard gladly embraced the Lane Kiffin era at USC. USC AD Mike Garrett raced by private jet to lure Kiffin back to USC from Tennessee when Pete Carroll bolted ahead of NCAA sanctions. Kiffin was foolish to leave USC for the Raider job and short sighted to leave TN to return to USC. Garrett promised the keys to an Emerald city that Kiffin would never govern from behind the curtain. It was always the poppy fields in black and white just prior morphing into color for Kiffin. Lane was trapped with the winged monkeys not the ruby shoes. When USC AD Pat Haden fired Lane after the debacle in the desert, USC looked done and stuffed in that order. Ogeron was a Trojan Loyalist but a caretaker in waiting to close out the misery that had already been predicted. Ogeron rose above the task and flipped the game board for this team and their rabid following. The Raging Cajun is not the coach Haden has in mind to take Troy back into the national championship discussion. He was never in the consideration for a micro second when the job was open at any time when Ogeron was the team’s best assistant coach. He finally left and took the Ole Miss Job in 2005 and tried to recruit Kiffin as his offensive coordinator. Kiffin demurred and then declined. Ogeron hired Noel Mazzone who he fired before being fired himself in 2007. Ogeron has now replaced Kiffin and Mazzone is the OC at UCLA. The Yard hopes that USC retains Ogeron. He deserves the job and his team is playing out his resume. They are fighting to ensure Haden hires their head coach, father and mentor. The team sent a message loud and clear when they played better after Kiffin than before him. USC may have to hire Ogeron with the outcry of support from current and former players. Even Kiffin has given his endorsement. Ogeron might not have wanted that one. If USC hires easy Ed as the man, they will probably be firing him before his contract expires. But he deserves the job now. We can only hope Haden stays the course that Garrett outlined. . Regardless of the outcome on Exposition on Saturday night, there is a basketball season that follows. For Trojan fan, not so much. Troy has a better basketball arena than the wretched coliseum but an inferior product that plays there. UCLA’s rival in basketball has not been USC since the early 1970’s. USC does not really have a rival in hoops because you have to win something to have a rival. Again, we tug at the low hanging fruit. UCLA hoops have been a surprise this year. Ben Howland’s termination was not a surprise but hiring Steve Alford sure was. The ink was barely dry on Alford’s ten year deal at New Mexico when it was announced he had been hired as the Bruin’s new head coach. We are no legal experts but the timing of those two events has an air of inconsistency about them. UCLA AD Dan Guerrero kept Bruin fan in the dark as he sourced a replacement for Howland. Ben of the Scowl had worn out UCLA fans with his plodding offense, average defense and never having a timeout in the last five minutes of any game ever. He did lead three teams into the Final Four and had a solid reputation for fundamental basketball training. The NBA loves Howland’s players and many are thriving from those teams at the next level. Ben just did not make it fun and compelling for the kids at his level. Guerrero may have hired Alford because he saw the steady stream on Howland recruits finish their careers at New Mexico under Alford. Kendall Williams and Drew Gordon were part of the exodus that led to Alford’s rise and Ben’s demise. Ben’s detached, constrictive style of coaching did not allow talent to blossom. Howland was a better coach at lesser programs where talent was thin but earnest was huge. At UCLA, talent was huge and needed freedom to become earnest. In Howland’s last season at UCLA, the Bruins topped 100 points once and 90 points three times during the entire season. In the first seven games of Alford’s tenure, the Bruins have topped 100 points twice and 90 points two other times. Granted it is the cupcake portion of the schedule but Howland had basically the same team and the same pastries last year. The Bruins are averaging 91 points a game so far this year. With the same leading scorer and senior point guard Larry Drew III, UCLA averaged 69 points a game last year for a similar seven game stretch. Last year’s team had arguably better talent than the current roster but was boring to watch and performed to those levels. This year’s campaign has been fun to watch and Jordan Adams and Tony Parker are going to forces to reckon with throughout the season if they stay healthy. It is 109 days until selection Sunday. The Yard is hoping for a favorable outcome on this Saturday but there will be many more exciting games for UCLA for months to come. USC’s whole sports campaign comes down to this Saturday. It is the myopia in which we have basted for most of our lives in the city of the angels. Still staring at the spinning wheel on the web site, tick tock. Extra Innings: Alex Rodriguez stormed out of his arbitration hearing regarding his doping this past week. A-Rod has been in MLB’s cross hairs since his first lack of self-awareness. It persists. The Yankees have their collective fingers crossed in the abject hope that he is suspended for more than 211 games. 211 games would save the Yankees $38 million that they would prefer to not pay A-Rod. They have few avenues to avoid paying that nut to an overpaid 3rd baseman that looks at himself too much in the mirror. The Yankees were probably the source of most of MLB’s evidence against A-clod. MLB has emails and personal medical information which Rodriguez likens to a witch hunt. The witches are in pinstripes and they hope to keep the caldron boiling in their quest to rid themselves of the Rod of their indignation. Yardbits: Last Sunday the NFC Central had a record breaking week. Although every team in the conference played, not one team won. That is and of itself is not remarkable but it is considering that two teams in the conference played each other. The Packers and the Viking played to an error filled tie while the Bears and Lions lost as well. Another scintillating week of NFL parity. Happy Thanksgiving!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Angels and Demons

Apparently, the vapid pace at the Yard was not originally anticipated by our investors. There was some expectation of consistent creation of new material. Since the original round of Angel financing, the Yard has been under constant demands for more content. These are dystopian days of social media awareness and anarchy. There are Yard Everywhere expectations. The Yard has never tweeted, friended, liked or poked. This is not lost on the industry titans who monitor our every move. The Yard navigated a clever lowering of the fiscal bar a few quarters back that we thought had settled in nicely. Those pesky accountants always expect transparency. When the Dodgers faded in the Midwest, the Bruins stumbled through in the Northwest and the Lakers are descending into the Pacific, we have had time to consider other storylines and maybe expand the Yard horizon. This whole brouhaha with the Miami Dolphins and NFL bullying had merit. We are a bit late to the party on that one. It does seem absurd to overlay societal norms on an NFL locker room and those dynamics. We also are having a hard time wrapping our collective minds around the fact the main antagonist is a 6’3” 319 pound tattoo sleeved beast hurling N- bombs with a last name of Incognito. You cannot make that stuff up. Richie is many things but being incognito is not one of them. He was bullying a 6’5” 312 OT Jonathon Martin. This is not junior high, this is the NFL. They both will end up on Oprah having a love fest and be back in the NFL in time for the 2014 campaign. Riley Cooper of the Eagles was thrilled to hand off the “Athlete Misbehaving on Camera Phone Video” baton to Incognito. Ciao! We also pondered why the Sacramento Kings who were valiantly saved by Mayor Kevin Johnson from moving to Seattle play at the Sleep Train Arena. It was a noble effort by KJ to save the only professional team within the 916. The owner had to be found and naming rights sold. But the Sleep Train Arena? It just does not sound like a home court advantage to play at the Sleep Train?! The Staples Center does not sound like a name that puts fear into the hearts of men but you can conjure in your mind an attack stapler with special powers. The sleep train is about getting on the train and sleeping. Sometimes we do win in our sleep but results while awake are the only ones that show on the scoreboard of life. The Kings are 2-7 while riding the train this year. The Dodgers and Yankees have never sold their naming rights. It does not mean that they never will. It just means they never have. There is only a Dodger Stadium and a Yankee Stadium. Fenway will always be Fenway. The Cubs in all of their century of frustration still give naming rights to Wrigley while Wrigley pays nothing for those rights. Wrigley will always be Wrigley. All of the other baseball stadiums are named for their corporate sponsors not the team that brings the sponsors. The Giants have played at Pac Bell Park, SBC Park and now AT&T Park just in the last ten years. We are not sure if these points are germane to the story but it sounds slutty. The Dodger season was a miserable miracle. It started like a train wreck. In the middle, they caught Puig inspired rocket fuel. They were the Boys of Summer but then came the fall. The Guggenheim group shook down Time Warner for a massive TV contract guaranteeing that Clayton Kershaw would be a Dodger forever. They ensured that the Dodgers could pay for 4 top quality outfielders. They ensured that the Dodgers will be a financial force for the lifetime of the Yard. They did not just do it to beat the Giants. They did it to beat the Lakers and win back Los Angeles. They did it at the right moment. It all could have been far different. Guggenheim was the most aggressive bidder for the Dodgers when Los Angeles and MLB was trying to vote the McCourt’s off our island. SAC was the number two bidder. Stephen A. Cohen Capital was competitive with Guggenheim on the Dodger deal and on Wall Street for many deals. The Posse and Magic leap frogged SAC with a $500 million “press hard third copy is yours” close. McCourt grabbed the pen garnering his greatest deal ever while sticking it to the ex-wife. He was delusional and brilliant. Jamie was just pissed. It was the Game of Thrones without the Imp. Frank McCourt got more money than he ever dreamed and more importantly more than Jamie McCourt or her attorney ever dreamed. Jamie and her legal team figured Frank was going to be either bankrupt or make $460 million. She settled for all of the homes and a $131 million guarantee. Frank sold the team for $2 Billion. We are not sure how many zeroes Frank finished ahead but there is comma between some of them…ouch…miss you guys…not! The Jamie and Frank debacle could not have happened to two worse people whose place in LA history is duly noted nowhere. SAC could have won the beauty pageant. They were equally financed and vetted. Since losing their bid for the Dodgers, SAC has had the SEC three vertebrae up their colons with insider trading allegations and indictments. It was not in play during the Dodger negotiations but in this past year Cohen’s firm has seen eight executives plead guilty to insider trading charges. Cohen is still in the government’s cross hairs but so far all he has paid $1.2 billion and agreed to stop accepting new accounts. He has his ill-gotten $ 7 billion so more than Parking Lot Frank but shadier. We can only imagine the turd storm that would be swirling around the Dodgers if SAC had won the bid.