It has been CSI: TheYard these last few weeks. Horatio should have been there to flip those shades up and say, “There won’t be any more fun when he gets back from the Yard”. There was very little trace evidence but a full season of baseball allegiance and an infant college football season were murdered with extreme prejudice. We had to pull the yellow tape out for this crime scene and we can only hope the CSI team can find the culprit before next season.
It all started two weekends ago on a scorching October afternoon at the Rose Bowl. UCLA was still amongst the “other receiving votes” club nationally and proud of it. The Bruins faced a resurgent Oregon team donning one of their 81 uniform combinations that Phil Knight has bequeathed them. It was a particularly ghastly ensemble.
The home team fought hard to a 3-0 half time lead. The kick off to start the second half was gloriously booted three yards deep in the Cal end zone. The play ended 103 yards later in the Bruin end zone. Ducks up 7-3. After the ensuing kickoff, UCLA’s first offensive play covered thirty seven yards beginning with a Duck interception in the flat and ending with a personal foul for excessive celebration in the Bruin end zone. Ducks 14-3. Twenty minutes of half time optimism died in the first thirty six seconds of the second half reality. The Bruin football season left some telling DNA at the crime scene on this afternoon.
In the week that followed, the Yard and the Dodgers basked in the sweep of the favored Cardinals and the fodder contained in our first high profile celebrity divorce. Then the Dodgers were bludgeoned during a Phillies home invasion robbery on Thursday night. The CSI team was already Birkenstock deep in the Bruin crime scene before Randy Wolf threw his 34th pitch in the first inning at the Ravine in Game 1 of the NLCS. The Phillies came on harder than a DEA dragnet in Broward County. Cole Hamels pitched as marginally as advertised but two three run homers beats fourteen hits and a full house most nights.
Then on another Saturday of despair, we were reluctantly called back to the Rose Bowl by the double helix of myopia and hope. Cal was coming off a bye week after two weeks and 66 points in losses. It was a battle of California State institutions fighting through the work furloughs of their coaching staffs to come up with a game plan. Tom Tedford and Rick Neuheisel each gave 10% of their salaries back to the state. We wish Cal had given back the 277 rushing yards last Saturday afternoon. We made a decision not to read about this past Saturday’s game at Arizona until we were safely shielded in the Laker basketball season opener.
John Broxton went from being a massive 100 mph country boy flame thrower to part of the discussion that includes Terry Forster and Tom Neidenfurer. These two Dodger relievers had prodigious body types, threw hard and gave up legendary post season changing home runs. Johnny B has more upside but he has had back to back years when a save changes the series. He might have been thinking about the home run 67 year old Matt Stairs hit last year when he walked him on four pitches in Game 4 this year. In the end, Stairs started a rally that ended the Dodgers hopes and our dreams.
TMZ is good. They had the Frank McCourt letter firing his wife as Dodger team president posted on their website practically before she did. Frank wrote the Jamie had become insubordinate and had acted inappropriately. The Yard has some experience in this area and insubordination and inappropriate behavior are pretty standard offerings during divorce proceedings. Jamie seemed like a load but she was Frank’s load. They were omnipresent and worked hard to become celebrity owners in a town of celebrity fans. Gradually, the team improved and so did our perception. Suddenly, what took years to achieve has been destroyed in the past week. We understand Frank firing Jamie he should have never hired her as team president.
It was a nice touch that the news broke before game one of the NLCS. Apparently, what had been known for months had to get into the LA Times prior to the first pitch. We were at that game and Jamie gabbed on her cell phone, cried on a Dodger executive shoulder and acted about as involved in the game as Paris Hilton while Frank sat stoically two rows behind her. She now wants to buyout Frank and be the owner of the Dodgers. If that happens, I have two words-Georgia Frontiere. And as TJ Simers queried, "Who gets custody of Lasorda?"
Monday, October 26, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
The Boys of Summer
The Boys of Summer always bring a great fall in one way or another. There is no other sport with the torture and legacy of baseball. It can be long and drawn out yet agonizingly majestic. Without a clock to challenge the outcome, baseball challenges only the players to finish their business. No team will ever run out of time if they can keep the rally alive. Thursday afternoon, the Dodgers never gave into the last out.
Matt Holliday dropped a fly ball that would have ended any Little League game. It was a routine catch that Manny Ramieriz would have made with the usual anxiety. With the game on the line, Holliday caught a Rawlings indent on his scrotum. He fell trying to recover both sets of ball, while churning up Seber sized divots out of the Dodger left field turf. It will be discussed and reviewed for years. I had a moment like that in a softball beer league twelve years ago and it was not easy going back to the dugout then. It has never popped up on You Tube and I never told my kids. Matt was not so lucky today with that series changing blunder.
Even with that opportunity, the Dodgers were down to their last out. Loney hustling down to second base on the error was important. Thank goodness it was not Manny or he would have been still in the batter’s box. While Holliday could not rub his stinging nuts in left, Cardinal closer Ryan Franklin had both of his hands around his neck. Casey Blake’s nine pitch walk that followed was the play of the inning. The first base umpire called a check swing second strike on appeal and Blake glared. He battled back to walk towards that same ump who dropped back three steps. The rest is history when a few batters later Mark Loretta delivered the hit of the season and the Doyers won their 23rd game of the season in their last at bat.
It is 1988 all over again. Half of that championship team is coaching the Angels. The other half is rooting for this team. This Dodger team is not always pretty but they play with more heart than any edition since 1988. Before Gibson’s historic home run to win Game 1 of that World Series, Mike Davis had to nut out a two strike count to scratch out a walk. Davis was big free agent signing that season but batted .199 for the season. He was an after thought and would have been the last out and there would have not been any Gibby heroics. His walk kept the rally alive. He was the tying run scoring tens seconds ahead of the gimpy fist pump that scored right behind him.
The Dodgers will still have to beat Carpenter and maybe Wainright to win this series but 2-0 is a whole lot sweeter than 1-1. The October sky will be blue today even in cloudy Saint Louis.
“Since baseball time is only measured in outs, all you have to do is succeed utterly; keep the rally alive and you have defeated time.” You remain forever young.
Roger Angell
Matt Holliday dropped a fly ball that would have ended any Little League game. It was a routine catch that Manny Ramieriz would have made with the usual anxiety. With the game on the line, Holliday caught a Rawlings indent on his scrotum. He fell trying to recover both sets of ball, while churning up Seber sized divots out of the Dodger left field turf. It will be discussed and reviewed for years. I had a moment like that in a softball beer league twelve years ago and it was not easy going back to the dugout then. It has never popped up on You Tube and I never told my kids. Matt was not so lucky today with that series changing blunder.
Even with that opportunity, the Dodgers were down to their last out. Loney hustling down to second base on the error was important. Thank goodness it was not Manny or he would have been still in the batter’s box. While Holliday could not rub his stinging nuts in left, Cardinal closer Ryan Franklin had both of his hands around his neck. Casey Blake’s nine pitch walk that followed was the play of the inning. The first base umpire called a check swing second strike on appeal and Blake glared. He battled back to walk towards that same ump who dropped back three steps. The rest is history when a few batters later Mark Loretta delivered the hit of the season and the Doyers won their 23rd game of the season in their last at bat.
It is 1988 all over again. Half of that championship team is coaching the Angels. The other half is rooting for this team. This Dodger team is not always pretty but they play with more heart than any edition since 1988. Before Gibson’s historic home run to win Game 1 of that World Series, Mike Davis had to nut out a two strike count to scratch out a walk. Davis was big free agent signing that season but batted .199 for the season. He was an after thought and would have been the last out and there would have not been any Gibby heroics. His walk kept the rally alive. He was the tying run scoring tens seconds ahead of the gimpy fist pump that scored right behind him.
The Dodgers will still have to beat Carpenter and maybe Wainright to win this series but 2-0 is a whole lot sweeter than 1-1. The October sky will be blue today even in cloudy Saint Louis.
“Since baseball time is only measured in outs, all you have to do is succeed utterly; keep the rally alive and you have defeated time.” You remain forever young.
Roger Angell
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Face the Book the Yard is here!
After much debate and cultural spin, the Yard now has a link on Face Book. We can still be found at http://tonyattheyard.blogspot.com/ but there is now a new link on Face Book. It is under our stage name-tony.seber@gmail.com. We struggled with the decision. FB seems like chick thing but with four sisters and a daughter, the Yard has chick thing embedded in our rugged veil of testosterone. My children and the woman I date apparently do not want to be our friend on FB at this time. Other than that home court rejection, the response has been positive and we welcome all of our Yard Brethren.
We appreciate all of the positive feedback and we encourage you to connect with the Yard as an RSS feed. Your internet toolbar should have an RSS icon, and if you go the Blog site and click on that icon, you should be notified whenever this Yardomite gets inspired and puts words out. There might be more to it than that but in this economy we had to lay off the IT Director. Good luck.
The staff lobbied for tight deadlines and a regular publishing date for the Yard to keep our 27 readers current and boost revenue. The people that send me my real paycheck suggested otherwise. The VIP group of e-mail members will continue to receive Yard spam but please notify the circulation department if you find the content offensive, irrelevant or both. We would suggest being offensively irrelevant is not easy and the very reason to continue your subscription.
The Yard has been drowning in the Dodger Malaise this past week. Manny has been largely quiet since going into rehab for his female hormone supplement addiction. Dodger starting pitching has been sketchy during their bright moments and scary in most others. If we hear one more Bigelow Tea commercial for Joe Torre, we are going to yak. Joe, come on man do a beer, scotch, chew or some other advertisement that men do when they need to be men. The Chamomile and green tea is not working in the Dodger dugout.
Ok, ok, the Yard went Face Book but we are so far off the radar that our testicles were largely unaffected during this transition. The shrinkage was blamed on the recent cold snap and so far unnoticed. Joe, you are the leader of the Dodger nation and we want a Jose Cuervo commercial with a beer back by the first round of the playoffs dammit!
The 160 bottles of champagne that were traveling with the Dodgers are almost as tired as the starting rotation. The Dodgers only had to win that one game and the bubbly is spraying in the eyes and dreadlocks of many. The champagne was chilled four times, plastic sheeting put up twice and goggles made available in anticipation each night. The sparkling wine is so well travelled it is now registered as a new friend on FB. We have welcomed all who want to be a friend of the Yard and champagne is always our friend. We want this champagne cracked before Sunday afternoon.
Waiting a week is anticlimactic at best and downright disturbing to most of us. The Dodgers were playing the Pirates and the Padres during this stretch. These teams are a collective 172 games out of the playoffs and have been since late May. They traded away half their teams in July. Their payrolls are comparable to the Dodger coaching staff and they beat the Boys of Summer all the way back to Elysian Park. The red hot Rockies are coming to town and this is not a Bigelow moment, Joe. We would drop an F-bomb right but we are new to FB and that shit might not roll over there.
Postgame: Laker camp opened and the paparazzi were there to catch a glimpse of Lamar Kardashian. He had his hat pulled down low with Ray Bans and a Starbucks coffee in an effort to sneak in the building. Jake Gyllenhaal does that quite effectively in Star magazine or so we hear. This 6’11” 250 double espresso is tough to miss in any disguise. With his $10 million a year paycheck, Chole did not miss this opportunity to get on an NBA payroll. Next stop is spawning followed by child support and alimony. Lamar, there is so much quality trim in LA with no baggage and better upside. You will not still be married to this hoe before your contract expires and you better have a pre-nuptial.
We appreciate all of the positive feedback and we encourage you to connect with the Yard as an RSS feed. Your internet toolbar should have an RSS icon, and if you go the Blog site and click on that icon, you should be notified whenever this Yardomite gets inspired and puts words out. There might be more to it than that but in this economy we had to lay off the IT Director. Good luck.
The staff lobbied for tight deadlines and a regular publishing date for the Yard to keep our 27 readers current and boost revenue. The people that send me my real paycheck suggested otherwise. The VIP group of e-mail members will continue to receive Yard spam but please notify the circulation department if you find the content offensive, irrelevant or both. We would suggest being offensively irrelevant is not easy and the very reason to continue your subscription.
The Yard has been drowning in the Dodger Malaise this past week. Manny has been largely quiet since going into rehab for his female hormone supplement addiction. Dodger starting pitching has been sketchy during their bright moments and scary in most others. If we hear one more Bigelow Tea commercial for Joe Torre, we are going to yak. Joe, come on man do a beer, scotch, chew or some other advertisement that men do when they need to be men. The Chamomile and green tea is not working in the Dodger dugout.
Ok, ok, the Yard went Face Book but we are so far off the radar that our testicles were largely unaffected during this transition. The shrinkage was blamed on the recent cold snap and so far unnoticed. Joe, you are the leader of the Dodger nation and we want a Jose Cuervo commercial with a beer back by the first round of the playoffs dammit!
The 160 bottles of champagne that were traveling with the Dodgers are almost as tired as the starting rotation. The Dodgers only had to win that one game and the bubbly is spraying in the eyes and dreadlocks of many. The champagne was chilled four times, plastic sheeting put up twice and goggles made available in anticipation each night. The sparkling wine is so well travelled it is now registered as a new friend on FB. We have welcomed all who want to be a friend of the Yard and champagne is always our friend. We want this champagne cracked before Sunday afternoon.
Waiting a week is anticlimactic at best and downright disturbing to most of us. The Dodgers were playing the Pirates and the Padres during this stretch. These teams are a collective 172 games out of the playoffs and have been since late May. They traded away half their teams in July. Their payrolls are comparable to the Dodger coaching staff and they beat the Boys of Summer all the way back to Elysian Park. The red hot Rockies are coming to town and this is not a Bigelow moment, Joe. We would drop an F-bomb right but we are new to FB and that shit might not roll over there.
Postgame: Laker camp opened and the paparazzi were there to catch a glimpse of Lamar Kardashian. He had his hat pulled down low with Ray Bans and a Starbucks coffee in an effort to sneak in the building. Jake Gyllenhaal does that quite effectively in Star magazine or so we hear. This 6’11” 250 double espresso is tough to miss in any disguise. With his $10 million a year paycheck, Chole did not miss this opportunity to get on an NBA payroll. Next stop is spawning followed by child support and alimony. Lamar, there is so much quality trim in LA with no baggage and better upside. You will not still be married to this hoe before your contract expires and you better have a pre-nuptial.
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