Monday, November 17, 2008

Support the Beaver!

It is historic times not only at the Yard but the entire United States. We were thrilled to hear that President elect Obama was going to take on this mess with the BCS as a top agenda item. Although, we are concerned that the junior Senator from Illinois has not turned things around or fulfilled a single campaign promise since elected, we do appreciate his priorities.

The Yard questions why any politician would give up the rock star gig of being a US Senator to pursue the presidency, especially at times like these? Each US Senator gets paid at least $170 large with perks and massive amounts of sunshine being blown up their colons by friends, family and lobbyists. Lifetime pension from the very first six year term, no term limits and minimal accountability for the rest of the days of their lives. The only election a senatorial hopeful has to win is the first. From then on, it is job security that we thought only local news weathermen enjoyed.

Joe Biden won VP but also he won his senatorial race as well on November 4. Alaska Senator Ted Stevens and the great state of Alaska is still counting votes trying to find a way to re-elect the Tedster even though he was just convicted of seven felonies and is awaiting sentencing. Barbara Boxter is like Haley’s comet and California will not be in her orbit until the mid-term elections in 2010. A Senator would almost have to get drunk, drive their car off of a bridge into a lake while saving himself and letting his date drown to lose an election…wait… bad example…you get the point…it is a great gig.

Nonetheless, the BCS situation is wallowing and twisting with dark days ahead. Time is wasting as the quagmire of trying to find the most deserving teams to play for the championship using the statistical correlation between the Pythagorean Theorem and Astral Projection starts to unravel. Barak better work on GM and Chrysler because the BCS is not going to be an easy fix.

And a conflagration of biblical proportions is emerging as the blue states of CA and FLA shout down not only the red states of OK and TX but each other with equal vitriol. Obama’s transition team is considering a Chief of the Yard position to quell the storm. We are flattered to be considered but not sure a senate hearing is in our best interests until the statute of limitations runs out on some youthful exuberance incidents. Eye witness testimony can be disputed but damn those cell phone cameras, damn them!

Pete Carroll was the first go public with his BCS outrage. He should be more outraged about losing to an unranked team for the 4th straight year. USC is playing some of the finest football in the land as we go to press. But they lost in Corvallis on a Thursday in October in a season when their schedule could not afford to lose any games.

The Puke-10 is a mess this year. USC’s next quality opponent is going to be Wednesday in practice. LA Times writer Bill Dwyer suggested that the Trojans take over for the Raiders for the balance of the NFL season. He argued that USC’s second string could still win out in the Pac-10 and the first string could compete for a playoff spot in the AFC Worst. The Yard concurs that the Trojans have a better chance of winning the AFC West than the BCS Championship.

Although we bleed the blue, this year more than some, the Yard is a staunch free market pragmatist. If USC and Oregon State both win out, the Pac-10 most likely gets two BCS bowl bids. USC could actually play for the National Championship without winning the Pac-10. Those two games would kick in over $20 million to the conference. USC has already contributed about $1-1.5 million a year to every Pac-10 school the last few years. UCLA rebuffed naming a building after them but Troy is one of Bruin Nation's largest benefactors. Public records show that UCLA sent USC $67.83 and a very nice shot glass collection after their Las Vegas Bowl visit last December. Support the Beaver in their quest to go to the Rose Bowl for the first time since 1965. And baby needs new shoes!

Blue Notes: The Dodgers got Manny for free last season but Scott Boras has let them know there is no free lunch moving into next season. It was fun while it lasted but Manny will be playing somewhere else next year. The Dodgers have to pretend that they are interested but guaranteed contracts for 36 year old whack jobs is never prudent. Let us remember the Manny who lit up the Ravine for two months not the malingering Manny who could not remember which knee needed the MRI when he sat out two games while with the Sox in July. Manny with a big fat contract is not Manny trying to earn a big fat contract. Good luck, Manram and thanks for the memories.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Football on Saturdays is Better!

College football reigns supreme in November. From what the LA-based Yard understands, pro football is starting to become interesting as well. We will take that under advisement because all we get to see most weekends are the Raiders and the Chargers and that is NOT that interesting. The Raider juggernaut managed 77 yards in total offense this afternoon in a scintillating display of ineptitude. And Norv Turner will never coach a team to the Super Bowl.

Los Angeles has had great college football for over 120 years. LA will always have great college football. Over a million people will see a college football game within the county this season. SC Fan is having a much better time these days than the public school across town. The Bruins were a solid 2 point favorite during the bye week and they did not disappoint.

After winning their first NFL Championship in 1945, the Cleveland Rams became the Los Angeles Rams in 1946. Cleveland had two teams when they could not even support one. The Rams moved to Los Angeles and even the Browns moved years later to Baltimore. Who would have thought at the time that the Cleveland-Los Angeles Rams would never win another title during the next 48 years in LA? The Rams built a loyal fan base including one impressionable 13 year old sports geek. The Rams lost every year to the Minnesota Vikings in the playoffs and never got to the Super Bowl until 1979. Vinnie Ferragamo had his 15 minutes of fame but the Steelers won the game. It was a cruel, bitter time from what we have been able to cobble together during therapy.

When the Rams arrived, USC had already been playing football in front of other humans for 58 years. The USC-Notre Dame Rivalry was the stuff from which legends and movies are made. College football dwarfed the NFL. UCLA, USC and the Rams all played in the Coliseum for the next 33 years. The Rams moved to the OC in 1979 and for all intent and purposes so did pro football’s mind share in LA. Snake Oil Al Davis snuck in and out of town for 16 years but that Faider moment is about as relevant in LA sports history as the Clippers.

Los Angeles has not missed pro football. Our collective ambivalence was spawned from years of hopeful teams, mediocre results and ridiculous ownership. The NFL has missed an entire generation of youth in one of the nation’s largest media markets. Did they not learn anything from Big Tobacco? Yard Axiom: Men chose their team allegiance for pro baseball, basketball and football by age 12. Hockey and NASCAR come later if ever.

48 million people went to college football games last year in every state in this nation. There are 619 college teams playing football at some level in America. The Yard only has basic cable but there were 17 college football games available for viewing this Saturday. There were seven unbeaten D1 teams going into Saturday’s games. #1 Texas was playing #7 Texas Tech in of the game of the year or just about any year.

The NFL is played in 32 metropolises in front of corporate customers who priced out Joe the plumber years ago. And then the NFL apologizes for the likes of Michael Vick, Travis Henry and Pac Man Jones.

We all know about Michael Vick but Travis Henry is going to have some amazing Father’s Days in the coming years. Mr. Henry at age 28 has fathered 9 children from 9 different women in four different states. That is almost logistically and biologically impossible, but T-the Henry got the job done while trying to play football and deal coke. He was talented enough to sign a $25 million contract with a $12 million signing bonus from the Broncos. Travis was also stupid enough to be indicted for cocaine distribution. Darwin Award Hall of Fame, Emeritus.

Pac Man has been suspended for getting liquored up and fighting with the guy who was hired by Dallas to keep Adam from getting liquored up and fighting. P-Jones has been taken in for questioning nine times by some form of law enforcement since 2005. We are sure those are all isolated incidents and the Pacster was misquoted and misunderstood each time until an attorney was present. In his defense or least through his defense, Pac man has never done any jail time. He was at the center of a shooting during the NBA All Star game that left three wounded and one person paralyzed for life and it was an unfortunate event for everyone but Pac man. Jerry Jones lobbied the NFL and Commissioner Goodell to have this noble warrior reinstated and on the Cowboy’s 2008 roster. In Pacman’s defense, he did make it through nine games before getting suspended for the season. Darwin Award Honorable Mention.

January belongs to the NFL. That is the month of perdition where we forgive the guilty if they can win three in January. College football is one of those precious gems that restores our passion, gives hope and excavates our youth for 3 ½ hours on any fall Saturday. Every state has a team to follow and a player with a story. There will be more exciting college games with miracle finishes next weekend than there will be in an entire season in the NFL.

This coming week famine, pestilence and locusts will be arriving in the financial statements your postman will bring you. We are suggesting that you surf the channel guide for the innocence of college football rather than open the stark metrics of your personal economic perils. Whether your chosen college team wins or loses or the new stadium does not get built, they will never threaten to relocate. Whether your team’s players leave early or stay and graduate, there will never be a labor dispute. And no matter how dark it seems, the only LA Team to beat their rival eight times in a row in football plays at the Rose Bowl.