Demons of the Angeles

We have just got all of the lampshades at the Yard back in the proper places since the glorious game seven victory over the hated Celtics. We implemented a 72 hour waiting period before taunting any children of the Yard. There is only one Celtic fan among the Yard progeny and he is unrepentant until this Garnett jets to a new team. First daughter at the Yard is a total Laker fan as long as they are winning, there is a party involved and it is the better party than other events that night. Andrew at the Yard studied the Celts in AP History not the sports page. We put our differences aside and were unbridled soccer fans for the better part of four days last week. We also all root for the Dodgers, so we have that going for us…which is kind of nice.

The Yard jumped on the Ron Artest band wagon early and often. It was not always an easy ride but Ron Ron soldiered up in Game 7 and showed the way while Kobe meandered towards his 5th title. Trevor Ariza is a nice talent and a Bruin but Paul Pierce would have lit him up like a Roman candle in this series. Trevor got to watch the entire playoffs from his new big screen. He will do that often in the years ahead. Ariza’s agent did him no favors by scoffing at the Laker’s initial offer only to sign for the same amount with Houston.

Artest set the stage from the opening tip in game one when he scuffled with Pierce prior to that tip. He then took him down under the basket in the first quarter. He never let Paulie from Inglewood get comfortable. Artest is 260 pounds of wear him out and he did. The Lakers did not need to get tougher, they needed to go psycho. Ron is first team All-ADD. His championship press conference is among the best ever. He gave his psychiatrist a lot of credit for his efforts and so do we!

Phil Jackson is not only the greatest coach in NBA history; he is arguably the greatest coach in professional sports history. Yard summer interns are researching ancient sports history looking for data but Jackson has risen to the top of any recent mountain. In his 22 years of coaching in the NBA, Jackson coached teams have been to finals thirteen times and won eleven times. Red Auerbach had a comparable run when he won nine titles in seventeen years. Of course, there were sixteen teams in the NBA then. The majority of those teams were east of Saint Louis, there was no television, and no player could ever leave the team that drafted them unless that team released them. It was not just a different era, it was a different game.

Every game in the NBA Finals that Phil has coached in his career was on national television and among the highest rated NBA Finals ever. Every fan, every player and the nation watched as Phil coaxed greatness from great players who had never won a championship before Phil was their coach. Jordan, Pippen, Shaq and Kobe never won before Phil lead them. Jackson earned championships with Luc Longley, Dennis Rodman and Ron Artest playing significant minutes along the way.

Red Auerbach never coached an NBA Final that was shown live on television. He never coached a potential free agent and he never won eleven titles. Phil never liked Red, his cigars and his arrogance and neither do we. Phil crushed Red’s record with glee and contempt. We were right there with him with the confetti and our lampshades askew. Boston is back to another twenty years of basketball irrelevance while the Lakers will be in the Finals again next year.

While the Celtics are now but a speed bump in Laker lore, the hated Yankees snuck into town on the heels of the NBA Finals. The Yard attended two of the three and we thank our lucky stars and Prilosec it was not the Sunday night debacle. It was a playoff atmosphere on Friday night with Ster-Roid going yard with the game winner. Saturday night, the Dodgers jumped all over AJ Burnett as has the rest of the AL East. Sunday night, the Yankees did what a $212 million lineup is supposed to do, win when all seems lost to rally from four down. It was painful and ugly and thank goodness, we were watching Vampires with Jo on HBO. It was hard enough reading the print on Monday.

Fortunately, the Dodgers headed straight to San Francisco to take on their other hated rivals, the Giants immediately after the loss. The Dodgers have played the toughest inter-league schedule of any team. They have not fared well against the American League going a miserable 5-13 against the Tigers, Angels, Red Sox and Yankees. Those games all count one and it has been painful. Joe Torre coaches for the post season and that is winning your division. The Dodgers are 20-5 against the NL West and each of those games counts two if you win. Giving up a 6-2 lead in the 9th to the hated Yankees is an intestinal meltdown that is not easily forgotten or quelled. The Giants were just the right Maalox. The Giant vaunted front line pitching has not figured the Dodgers out in three years and it does not appear to be the case this year.

The Dodgers need another starter and for Manny to stay healthy. Frank and Jamie’s divorce is a side show but it is handcuffing Ned Colletti in his search to make the team better. The McCourt’s are going to raise ticket prices next year while lowering payroll. As whacky as the Buss family is, they put the Laker’s ahead of their own genitals most of the time. Frank and Jamie never did and Frank is not going to be able to hang on to the team. Both McCourt’s are proud and feel they deserve the Dodgers. Pride is never in the quotient that equates to good judgment. Neither McCourt is a deserving owner and many would be a better owner. Mark Cuban, Phil Anschutz please make an offer..anyone..anyone..Bueller?