Parquet Allergies

The Lakers evened the series 1-2 last night. We have those dastardly Celts, right where we want them, down one. Off that toxic parquet and in front of every LA celebrity who has a new TV show on ABC, a movie, or an Oscar. The Laker game crowd is like US magazine without the under age drinking, anorexia or Denise Richards. It looked like the boys were going down 0-3 for a long time but Paul Pierce found out you can not go home. Playing in the shadows of the Great Western Forum as a high school senior, Pierce must have been thrilled to come home in the NBA Finals. His jump shot is still in baggage claim at LAX. Mr. Pierce was averaging 25 per game at home and he was 2 for 14 at the Office Supply facility with six points.

Regardless, the band wagon is getting a bit bumpy and I have no where to jump. College sports are done and the Dodgers look like they are almost done. Kevin Garnett looks like he can bitch slap Pau Gasol any time he chooses. Luke Walton looks like he wants to be at the Grateful Dead show with Dad and Lamar seems to be smoking blunts on the way to the arena. Sasha delivered but how do you rally in the hood with a guy named Sasha? It is not all good in Kelly Green, either. Ray Allen came to play but he was the lone stranger for the Boston Three Party. I am concerned that Kobe is going retro to Kobe 2007 Ball Hog, First Round Loser Edition instead of the Kobe Deluxe Team Mate Edition 2008. He is playing hard as he always does but he is berating his less seasoned team mates like Lou Gossett Junior. “Ain’t no steers, here boys!”

But who cares? The refs are deciding all of the games anyway, right? Frigging Humans, who left them in charge? It amazes me that people complain that the home team gets most of the calls during home games. I think that is why the regular season is played so that you can get the calls at home in the playoffs.

Basketball fans are closer to the action than any other sport. Joey Crawford is not whistling KG for his second foul with 6:42 left in the 1st quarter with 18,000 drunken Bostonians in the house and his Lincoln Town Car in the visitor’s lot? He did whistle Kobe for his 2nd foul at about that time in Game 2. It is not a conspiracy; it is momentum, emotion and humanity. The Lakers don’t get the same home court advantage because all of the people in their ring side seats are not nearly as trashed, they are texting on their PDA’s and they are hamming for the cameras. The real fans in Staples are in section 300. So I get why LA Fan is upset. Boston has their best fans close to the action, with their "A" game and ready to get right up in Joey’s grill. If me and my boys were there, we would show them how we roll in LA. But at an average of $700/seat at Staples for Game 3, my peeps don’t roll that large. Denzel, my brother, give me a shout if you need a token cracker for Game 4.

Basketball Referees call 45-50 fouls per game, usually a couple of technical fouls, and rule on 20-30 turnovers during 48 minutes of action. That means that the three person referee team is blowing their whistle every 38 seconds of action. So they are busy and I do not think even Pythagoras could keep track on the fly of who is in foul trouble, etc. They can influence the outcome. But they are making $300K a year, traveling First Class everywhere, and doing what they love on the largest stage. It is an elite group and most refs have been doing their job for 10+ years, why risk that gig?

On average, the home team has been called for 1.5 less fouls per playoff game. Now this past Sunday, that average was more like trying to find gas at the National Average price per gallon. 38 free throws for the Green and 10 for the Purple and Gold. That was bit ridiculous but take the free throws out of it, the Lakers played like Jerry’s kids anyway. The fouls shots had an impact and the Lakers made it close at the end, but that was not a potential champion representing Los Angeles that night.

The allegations made by convicted felon Tim Donaghy are not to be taken lightly. He asserted that pressure was put on NBA referees to influence the outcome of play off games. These are serious allegations and just because Mr. Donaghy is awaiting sentencing that could send him to the big house for 25 years and the NBA sued him for $1 million, there is absolutely no reason to believe that he would not be telling the truth, right? NBA Commissioner David Stern is a pompous load for sure. He could have waited until after the play offs to sue penniless Donaghy for seven figures. What is the NBA pressed to pay the light bill?! I am not sure what they pay inmates in the NY pen, but Mr. Donaghy might need his wages garnished for quite awhile to cover that nut.

Sterno, you should have been paying closer attention BEFORE the Feds popped one of the NBA’s 60 or so referees. The NBA had absolutely no clue of Donaghy’s shenanigans until the FBI arrested him. An embarrassed King David, who sees all and controls all, needed to re-assert himself, rattle his saber and conduct a redundant, exhaustive investigation into things that he should have been on top of already! Stern zaps the $1 million freight charge on Timmy the D during the playoffs. That was sure quiet and under the radar screen. The David, never take the focus off the League’s premier event with something so damaging when it was avoidable. It was Stern's arrogance not NBA importance that lead to the timing of the announcement. BTW: August is the month for NBA bad news reports.

Bottom Line: In this information society, where the highest dollar is paid for secret, stanky dirt, conspiracies are hard to conceal. The price paid for exposure of sins has become too high relative to any benefit the alleged conspirators might receive if the “conspiracy” was flawlessly executed. None of the professional leagues wants the Feds in their drawers. Nothing says Federal investigation like a gambling conspiracy. And nothing will make favorable anti-trust laws go away faster than government oversight. The federal government has already shown their propensity for calling athletic celebrities to Washington, to perjure themselves and sign autographs. And everyone looks good in suits until they have to answer questions. David, be ready Arlen Specter has you in his gun sites. You might want to float him some duckets to game six.

Grantland Rice: "The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet."