Target Rich

I am trying to remember the seminal moment in sports reporting where legal analysts became part of the underlying canvas. Sports should be about batting averages, consecutive wins, championships and athletic excellence. Now we have legal people who report to us about what criminal charges our sports heroes may be facing and whether the evidence would stand up in court if the Justice Department decides to proceed with charges. The Federal Government seems more concerned about the problem with sports than the problems that face the average American citizens who pay their rent. The average American is less concerned about what is wrong with sports than our elected government appears to be.

At the Yard, it is a target rich environment and this day Roger “The Rocket” Clemens could be the easiest of the lot. Roger did not do well on Capital Hill and no one needs me to comment on that. I did think it was so sweet and romantic that he shared some HGH with his wife. It could have been like their date night thing or something. Nothing like a roaring fire, a California Cab and a little HGH to get the romance flowing. I am so old school on Valentine’s Day…damn.

The Clemens-McNamee theater was compelling. I am not sure that I would ever want to sit across any expanse of space or time and stare up Henry Waxman’s nostrils. Those cameras had a rough angle staring from below the nasal, eyebrow space vortex that Mr. Waxman projected.

But wow, with all that love, I have never seen anyone throw their wife under the bus like Roger did whether it was at a barbeque or even in front of a riveted national television audience the day before Valentine’s Day. Mrs. Clemens got to see her dude lie straight through his teeth after swearing to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth! Roger, she is not going to believe the story about the Boy’s hunting trip to Eastern PA next fall? Debbie Clemens will be sporting Vanessa Bryant Diamonds in the near term. Kobe’s wife is the bench mark for post trauma rockage. Roger is going to be laying low for a bit and kissing his wife’s HGH enhanced ass. The rest of those politicians will disappear into their election campaigns. And Brian McNamee will be a pool man in Lubbock retiring quietly to Waco.

I do not care who you root for, when the Lakers are relevant so is the rest of the NBA. Warrior Fan, Warrior Fan, oh never mind. Don Nelson and the second round is where the bar is set, nothing more, nothing less. Celtic Fan, welcome back to Real Sports. The other Beantown sports teams have taken your place and Larry Bird is in Indiana. You have a nice team, Detroit will beat you in the conference finals. Dallas Mavs, you did not win when Jason Kidd was here the first time, nice trade. Steve Kerr, beware of 34 year old, 320 pound centers who make $20 million per year and claim that they needed to be traded to now get in shape for their detractors. Steve, whatever you do, do not trade the only guy who can guard Dirk Nowitski in the playoffs to get that load of expensive humanoid.

Gregg Popovich, shut the f--- up. Mitch Kupchak has been slammed and he is finally getting credit. You are whining like a Bellicek. I am sorry about your hideous childhood Acne scars but you are fine coach, so pipe down and be humble. The Spurs and Lakers in the conference finals, Kobe goes for 57 in game 7 and Lakes lose by 2 when Lamar passes to Kobe with .3 seconds left because he thought Kobe had a better look from 22 feet out than he did from the free throw line. Gregg, Pro Active and lasers, you’ll get your game face back.

Yard Karma is evolving and we appreciate humility with all servings of Sports excellence. It is more interesting and rare. We called out Billy Bob Bellicek’s arrogance and when he walked off the Super Bowl game with a second left, he broadcast all the absence of class that he displayed in winning. His post game one on one interview was priceless. I am not sure who the Fox reporter was who got the short straw and had to go to that loser’s locker room. He fully extended the microphone with his face slightly turned away from the coach, apparently in case Bellicek tried to hit him. He had that unmistakable look of a man interviewing Idi Amin at Kampala International in 1977 with rioting crowds circling and snipers on the roof with his plane on the runway. Be nice, be careful, deflect the first punch and run for cover if gunfire erupts.

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde