t has been a record setting week for temperatures around the US, especially in the Pacific Northwest. Seattle hitting 107 is a ridiculous number for a city where the majority do not have AC. They sound a lot like the Southern California Beach cities whose disdain for air conditioning has abated over the past decade. At the Yard World Headquarters in Las Vegas, we have been dealing with global warming since the oceans receded over 200 million years ago. We have been ready for it for at least a half century. It is hot but our AC is awesome and with Bosch dropping on Amazon, we will survive with persistence and Pinot Noir.
The world’s attention was captured by a 300-mile elephant walk in China. The elephants made an exit from a wildlife preserve in Yunnan to the outskirts of Kunming. There is no understanding of their ultimate destination, but they have stormed through towns like the Rolling Stones on tour. Albeit back in the day for Mick and Keith. These beasts are on a mission and apparently not on drugs. The three male Pachyderms will not ask for directions and there is dissention among the females on the journey. This is not going to end well, and no one is getting a happy ending.
Not to be outdone, billionaires everywhere are racing to space. Big swinging dicks Jefferey Bezos and Richard Branson are racing to beat each other into space. Bezos may not be as big according to Pecker at the Nat Enquirer. Bezos announced he was going up into the clouds just like AWS. Branson, fresh off his launch of Virgin Hotel in LV announced he would beat Bezos by two weeks. Bezos and Branson were both beat into space by Charles Simonyi. Simonyi was employee #40 at Microsoft. He has traveled further than either of these two nudnicks, going all the way to the International Space Station twice. We are not sure how many loyalty miles he earned, but Simonyi dropped a cool $60 million for those two nonstops.
The federal government announced this past week that a report will be issued addressing unexplained flying objects. These UFOs have been cited all over the world by different military and government sources. Former US Senator Harry Reid has been calling for such disclosure for years. With his Ross Perot-like cranium and shrill delivery, he was considered a little loony at the time. The Yard still considers him as such, but he may have been on to something. In a related story, Intergalactic aliens are demanding an explanation why they are always depicted as some sort of lizard in Hollywood. These are smart and powerful reptiles with dreadlocks, but still not leading man good looking types. The Earth always gets Harrison Ford, Arnold, Dennis Quaid or one of Bill’s and earth is like 27-0 in these contests. The aliens get Jabba the Hutt and that critter Will Smith punched in the nose. They feel it is an unfair characterization. And they want more representation with the Academy.
The Lake show’s quick exit from the NBA Playoffs was anticipated from the moment they won their bubble title last year. The season was truncated already for 2021 with the late 2020 finish. Lebron did not want to play games until February and the NBA was having none of those sensibilities. The Warriors did not last long either and they had not played a game in nearly a year. The 2020 Season ended with a championship on October 11, 2020. The 2020-21 Season returned on December 22, 2020. A full slate of Christmas Day games went off. Lebron and company had 71 days between their Championship and first tip of the new season. No fans were allowed but the NBA dragged Lebron and Company back to the hardwood against the wishes of his 36-year-old body. AD and the King had already grinded out their first title together. They played like they did not need another in 2021. Lebron said the right things, but he played like it was 2019. They will be back with championship focus for 2021-22. Lebron was right in his assertions as players are starting to fall apart in the playoffs. It is a battle of attrition.
The San Francisco Giants have been the story of the 2021 season. Picked by the Las Vegas Sports books to win just 79 games, the Giants have already won 48 games. It is remarkable given their anemic performances that last several years. As the season commenced, the team seemed aged and without depth. That is probably the same assessment currently. 34-year-old Buster Posey opted out of the 2020 season and is having a resurgent year and playing solid defense. Brandon Crawford is having a career year at age 34. Brandon Belt and Eva Longoria are having their typical middling efforts at 33 and 35. Johnny Cueto is still top shelf at 35. Kevin Gausman is having a great year at age 30. The Giants have momentum and maybe the threads to keep it all stitched together. They seem that they are an oblique tear away from a seven-game losing streak but that is just Yard hope and speculation.
The NL West has three of the best teams in all of MLB. The Giants are the story of the year, but the historically, moribund San Diego Padres are barnstorming like rock stars. The Tatis and Manny show are launching moonshots. They are young and have the pitching. The Dodgers have been pelted with injuries but have been resilient which comes with youth. They are getting healthy with big opportunities and paydays ahead for their young talent. The next representative in the WS from the National League will probably come out of the West. Our hopes are for a Dodger repeat but there are many games to be played and hamstrings to pull.
It seems like we have reached the other side of the COVID wormhole. The confident vaccinated navigated the honor system of the vax conspirator theorists. We are looking forward to visiting the hallowed Chavez Ravine in the next week for the first time from this other side. Nadia of the Yard and his Yardness will be at the Dodger vs. Giants June 29 with 55,000 strong.
Be safe and Go Blue!
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