Of Mice and McCourts

Life affords few “do over’s”. BP could have spent the money to ensure that the gasket thingy worked better in their offshore drill. It does not appear that it would have cost the $17 Billion dollar profit hit or the $30 Billion they set aside for future obligations to make sure the drill worked properly. We have no idea what these things cost but for $47 Billion they could have possibly drilled for oil on Mars. Levy Johnson and Bristol Palin have announced that they are going to wait until they are married before having sex. They might have decided to abstain prior to conceiving a child. The State of Tennessee might forgive Lane Kiffin one day but he keeps messing with their football teams. Frank and Jamie McCourt might have saved their marriage and just been happy with their parking lot in Boston. The Yard is concerned about the environment, laughing at the Palins, cheering for the Volunteer state, and wishing we could click the red shoes three times and make the McCourt's go away.

The Boys of Summer will always be our Dodgers. Sandy, Walter Alston, Big D, Three Dog, Tommie, the Penguin, Fernando, and Billy Grabarkewitz are names that are posted on the Facebook of our youth. Before Mannywood, the Dodger Beach Club and bobble head night, we went to the Ravine to cheer our blue warriors who battled our common enemies in San Francisco and New York. LA was the Dodger’s town. Koufax’s four no hitters, Big D’s 58 2/3 scoreless innings, Three Dog’s 31 game hitting streak were seminal moments scattered across the championships and the heart ache. The five titles came in eight tries.

The Reggie Jackson Yankees overwhelmed the Dodgers twice. The 1981 edition of the Boys of Summer led by Ron Cey, Pedro Guerrero, and Steve Yeager won four straight games from the Yanks after losing the first two. The Laker Showtime era was in its infancy after winning their first championship. Magic had just gotten Paul Westhead fired and Dr. Jerry Buss was the playboy with the PHD. Tommie and his boys of summer were the kings of the city.

In 1988, Kirk Gibson had just hit the biggest homerun in LA Dodger history. Gibbie was MVP of the National League with a .279 batting average and a bum knee. Orel Hershiser was the CY Young award winner and the bulldog of these over achievers. The Lakers were winning their last Showtime championship before Magic got HIV. The Yankees were wandering in the desert waiting for Joe Torre to bring the tablets down from the mountain. The San Francisco Giants were still looking back to the New York years for their last championship season…they still do. And then the music died….

In 1998, Fox Corporation purchased everything that was our Dodgers. They acquired the heart, the soul, Vero Beach and the Tommie because it made better sense to buy the team rather than pay for their broadcast rights. They did not want to own a baseball team; they wanted to own the TV content. Somehow, Fox Sports Network could not figure out how to produce quality programming of a product they owned and make a profit. Times must have been tough. The Yankees make $50 million a year each year from the YES network before they play a game. Fox could not make it work. Fox sold the Dodgers to Frank and Jamie McCourt for seven blue beads and a parking lot in Boston in 2004. The Indians who sold Manhattan got a better deal.

On August 30, Frank and Jamie will bitterly drag these vestiges of our youth down into the dark recesses of the Superior Court of Los Angeles. Frank is playing three card Monty with eight houses and the Dodgers. Jamie has her hand firmly pressed on the third card. No one is going to win and their divorce will be the only game still being played in the fall. The team needs a 5th starter to make a run. It does not appear it is going to happen. We can only hope that Mark Cuban does not win the auction for the Rangers.

SF Giant manager Bruce Bochy is a fine manager and his head is worshiped by several indigenous tribes where Direct TV is available. Bochy has almost 65% of this body situated above his belt with 25% of that mass concentrated in his head. This is not some shallow Yard jab, just look, next time Bochy is on TV. His Easter Island cranium does not detract from his managerial skills but you will not be able to look away and do not get direct eye contact.

A Tuesday night ago, at the Ravine of our youth, Bruce Bochy burst from the Giant dugout like a Macy’s Day balloon that needed to be restrained by humans with guide wires. Manager Bochy was vociferously calling to the attention of the umpiring crew that substitute manager Don Mattingly had walked off the mound and then two steps later returned to the mound. Stewie Bochy took advantage of the situation and bamboozled the umpires into yanking All-Star closer Jonathon Broxton out of the game. Shaky George Sherrill was forced to enter the game without warming up to pitch with runners on second and third. George did what he has done when he had two days to warm up and gave up the go ahead runs.

Giants’ fans applauded Bochy’s clever managing to bring on this situation. The Yard is bitter because it cost the Dodgers a crucial victory against an ancient rival. It was also the wrong call by the umpiring crew. The rule that Bochy cited was designed to keep managers from hanging around the mound while another reliever warms up. The umpire has to warn the manager and Mattingly was warned. The penalty is that the pitcher in the game has to stay in the game for one batter. Broxton was incorrectly yanked from the game. His replacement gave up the game winning hit.

It was an obscure situation and a weird calling, story over? The Crowe’s nest, page 2 LA Times pointed out that Bochy pulled this same ploy against the Dodgers several years ago while managing the Padres. He was successful then as well. The call was wrong then, the call was wrong last Tuesday. Did Bochy remember that he had created the wrong call previously? Or did he remember that umpires made the wrong call at his urging previously? Clever managing or manipulative cheating?

Beyond the Lines: Incoming USC AD Pat Haden must have been thrilled with the State of Tennessee filing a suit on behalf of the NFL Titans to express their provincial outrage at Lane Kiffin for crimes against the Volunteer nation. Haden preached compliance and ethics and other stuff at his press conference. Lane must have missed that when he recruited Kennedy Pola to break his month old contract with the football Titans. Pola should be held accountable but Titan Coach Jeff Fisher is an USC Alum. It is never good to lay feces on the dinner plates of family.

The Angels are done. We have never been fans but our special reserve vitriol has never been wasted on the Halo’s. It will not be now. Mike Sciocsia is a Yard favorite and should have been coaching the Dodgers long ago. The Angels let Vlad, John Lackey and Chone Figgins leave after last season. They should have hung on to all of them but now they have lost their way without any of them. Vlad was a hitting freak who could hit a pitch in the dirt into the right field seats. John Lackey was a feisty competitor who got thrown out of game last year after his 2nd pitch of the game. The first inning, the second freaking pitch after six weeks in rehab? Lackey was not putting his toe in the water. He was all in. Chone Figgins wanted too much money and he got it from the woeful Mariners. Neither party is happy but the Angels miss Figgins at the top of the order.

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” Napoleon