Boat Racing at Chavez Ravine

The first daughter of the Yard could probably provide valuable skills to the Obama administration in these turbulent times. The way that she negotiates the terms and conditions of all of our deals are truly remarkable. For example, she celebrated her 21st birthday this past March. To honor her first beer and the passing on of her fake ID, she felt a party bus was in order for 30 of her closest friends. She consulted with finance and indicated that her mother, brother and this author could each pitch in a “couple of hundred” towards the cost of the bus. Friday, the Yard was notified that our “couple of hundred” to be pitched in was actually $400. Daughter let us know that “a couple of hundred” was actually $300 and she needed an extra hundred to cover a motherly shortfall. It sounded like the way the AIG deal had been negotiated behind closed doors. The Yard did have a Party Bus stimulus package earmarked on one bill before finance. So this deal should get funded but damn, she could provide counsel to GM. They may still go down but not without a party bus!

This is the season the Dodgers make it back to the World Series for the first time since the magical year of 1988. This Yard prognostication might be a bit premature and injuries to pitching arms and Manny’s psyche could derail this team before the October sun shines. Manny on a one year deal and Orlando Hudson on similar terms will help carry this team for the summer and post season. The young pitching that had been a question mark has been outstanding with Chad Billingsley emerging as the ace. Winning eight in a row against their western division opponents, closing out a 6-0 first home stand and out scoring the opposition 50-17 during that home stand have band wagons shined, polished and ready for a long ride this summer. It always is amazing in baseball how it seems like the teams with the most potential free agents have the best years.

Orlando Hudson at second base was a significant upgrade over Officer Kent. The Yard loved future Hall of Famer Jeff Kent’s work ethic, grit and porn star mustache. We loved that he stood up to Barry Bonds while with the Giants. Kent would never again hit 20 homeruns in a season and he had the defensive range of the Lincoln Memorial. Hudson makes the pitching better with his defensive prowess. He is penciled in the batting order in the #2 spot and he hit .542 for the home stand.

The $25 million the Dodgers the Dodgers are paying Manny Ramirez this year were earned from the on deck circle on Saturday afternoon. Manny had already homered in his first two at bats against Rockie “Ace” Aaron Cook. Andre Ethier was working a 3-1count with two out and two and the dreaded one on deck this afternoon. Mr. Cook did not want to see Manram in the box with the based jacked. So he reared back and threw when he needed to pitch. His throw to Andre was parked in the right field seats while Manny smiled his way to the batters box.

The best part of this Dodger opening week was sweeping the San Francisco Giants. Walter O’Malley convinced Giant owner Howard Stoneman to follow the Dodgers west in 1958. The Giants had won their 5th World Championship in 1954. The Dodgers won their first in 1955. The National League needed at least two teams in the west and no team but the Yankees were ever going to garner the heart of NYC. Who knew that the Dodgers would win five championships and the Giants would never win another since their moves in 1958?

The Yard despises all sports that have San Francisco somewhere in their nomenclature. When the discussion is about the moribund Giants, Giant Fan’s first response is to remind us all of the football 49ers history. San Francisco Green Bloods wax and wane about the miracle years of the 49ers under Bill Walsh, Joe Montana and Steve Young. The next argument about their baseball malfeasance is the lack of professional football in Los Angeles. SF Fan, stop, we know there is no professional football in Los Angeles. This is baseball season and yours is almost over.

If you all want to go down that rat hole, show us evidence of professional football in the Bay Area?! Los Angeles has won as many Super Bowls as San Francisco or Oakland since 1996 and LA does not have or need an NFL team to accomplish that. This is a world of what have you done for me lately and the city by the bay is living on borrowed legends. The last football championship was fifteen years ago and the last playoff appearance was seven years ago. The Giants have never won a Championship since they have been in the City. The Giants uniform colors are made for October but they will be mathematically eliminated from the pennant race by the end of May. It will be another year of fine Cabernet, garlic fries and blown leads in the China Basin.

"The coldest winter I ever saw was the summer I spent in San Francisco." Mark Twain