Patrons of the Yard

I have heard from at least three of my legions that my content has faded in recent weeks. And Google has cut me back to .000008 cents per click on the Ad Sense. The Yard was on sabbatical during August. It was not planned but never under estimate the wrath of a wealthy woman with too much free time and your stolen Blackberry. Not that I would know anything about that but that and password protect are just some more free pearls of wisdom from his Yardness.

It was a transitional month that August was. Princess of the Yard, Nadia, left for Europe to study so that 10 years from now, she can take care of me. Heir apparent, Alexander, just got his first job selling telecom stuff despite my concerns for an industry that has tortured me for 25+ years. I told him everything that I knew during the 7th inning at Camden Yard on August 18th. The Red Sox were killing the Orioles at the time but I think he was listening to me. And Crown Prince Andrew is the most amazing accomplished, diffident teen-ager that I have ever been so blessed to raise. He will do great things if they are done in doors and in front of a computer! Enough update on Yard Royalty although many of you have questioned my succession plans. I wanted you to know that like the rest of the Yard, it is in sketchy hands.

Los Angeles Angel Fan of Anaheim, I am not a big fan and clinching the AL West title in early July is not always a good thing. You will not play another meaningful game until mid-October. I love your line up, pitching and Mike Scioscia but you are going to struggle at some point. Your coaching staff is the 1988 Dodgers so I love the pedigree but watch out for the Red Sox. They traded the Dreaded one to the real LA team but the Sox have the pitching, hitting and they are grinders. Teams that battle into the playoffs historically perform better than front runners.

The Halo’s have had a double digit lead in the standings since early May. When you have a big lead and you expect to win and then it suddenly evaporates it can shift momentum in a heart beat and all can seem to be unraveling. Just ask Barack how it feels.

The Dodgers will be in the World Series this year. Manny Ramirez will lead the Azul there like he did the Indians and Red Sox over the last thirteen years. He is a nut but I am glad he is our nut. He is the most exciting player in Los Angeles at this moment. Kobe is working hard to be that guy but Manny does it without the sodomy allegations or demands for the limelight. The Dreaded one does it every time he steps to the plate.

I will argue with anyone that hitting a baseball is the hardest thing to do in all of sports. I am not just talking about my experiences at Brand Park on Saturday mornings but throughout history. The greatest hitters ever only connected 3.5 times out of 10. And most of the greatest did it playing day games, east of Missouri.

ManRam has been doing it 4 out of 10 times since he put on that number 99 and every at bat is 7.2 on the Richter scale whether he puts in the seats or misses it. I stop all of the other important things that demand my time and watch the dude every time I can.

Ned Colletti pulled the trigger on the most ridiculous deal in the National League last year in signing Andruw Jones. First and foremost, the Yard never endorsed a trade for anyone spelling the name of Andrew with a “u” but that is just a personal preference that is shared by the rest of the known universe. Beyond that AJ, was a fat, underperforming, Gold Glove outfielder that Ned agreed to pay stupid money. Jason Schmitt, fat underperforming pitcher who everyone knew had lost his fast ball, stupid money. Juan Pierre, skinny, scrappy weak armed centerfielder who no one else wanted stupid money. Ned Colletti, stupid money. But Manny was free so the Nedster finally put his hand on the right card in Three Card Monte.

Give Manram the concession stand near aisle 8 and every thing else to keep him in LA. Andre Ethier has become what we thought he was with Manny hitting behind him. Officer Kent is fighting to come back from arthro surgery to play with Manny. Derek Lowe is pitching like Josh Beckett because of Manny. And Joe Torre suddenly looks like he knew what he was doing all along, right? Manny might be the MVP for both leagues this year!

Nothing like a couple of ex-patriots from the American League East, who battled each other for years, getting run out of town and ending up in LaLa Land working for the parking lot guy and leading the Dodgers to the National League West Pennant. It is hard to find a more compelling story in any sport right now. The Snakes are done in the desert. The Rockies were done last October. I hope Denver saved all of the cheers from the Republican Convention because that is all that City will be cheering about for a long time. And the Giants were done about three years ago. If the Cubs win the big prize this year, the Giants will have the longest drought in the National League at over 50 years without a title. Oh yeah, and the Padres, they are done for the next three years. Petco is a great stadium unless you are a Padre fan.

But really, it is football season. And the Yard will move on once the Dodgers have their long awaited parade. Ohio State gets crushed today and I hate writing that. UCLA struggles in Utah, like they always do and I hate living that. Tom Brady getting hurt could not happen to a nicer guy and his a-hole coach. Sorry Bill, let us see your genius with Matt Cassel at quarterback and Randy Moss as your team leader. Brett Favre did need to come back and the Packers look great without him. Tim Tebow needs to stay in College for seven more years. He is a difference maker on Saturdays who will never play at the next level on Sundays. I still find myself rooting for the Rams, the team of my youth. Now that Georgia is in the dirt, it is easier to root for them as well.

The Yard is relocating and details will follow. We needed more room for the new gift shop. Your old rewards card will still work but stop by when you can for the one with the new logo. Go LA Blue!