Wave the flag, sing the anthem and tune in until 1:00 AM, it is all good. The glory, the pageantry, GW, and Michael Phelps. I can not get enough although George Bush doing the “look at me, look at me!” at virtually every event was a bit annoying. He was like that dude with the multi-colored afro with the John 3:12 T-shirt in the 80’s who was everywhere. He was annoying also. It is sure easy to bask in the eternal sunshine of our impressive young athletes and their exploits than dwell on gas at $4/gallon, unemployment at 5.8%, and the staggering cost of showing the Iraqi’s the benefits of democracy.
Michael Phelps has been amazing. He is like an action figure with a Happy Meal. He can contort in any direction. He can bend his arm back to scratch the elbow in that same arm. I also found it amazing that he eats an IHOP menu each morning and an Applebee’s menu each night and he has an 8-pack. I eat 2,500 calories a day and I have a 1-pack. He does have those 3,000 laps in the pool thing working for him. I am all over that but I just do not have a torso that looks good in a Speedo.
The women’s all-around gymnastic final was epic with Americans Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson showing the nerves and performance to go Gold and Silver. Nastia clutched up and won a gold medal knowing in the back of her mind, her father lost the Men’s All around by a 1/10 of a point at the 1988 Seoul games while competing for the then Soviet Union. She had the DNA and the skills and at 18 years old, she was the matron of the floor on Thursday night. The US Women showed why gymnastics is an individual sport with the team event for appetizers. The Women’s Team stumbled and slipped to silver. The individuals did what no other American women had ever achieved finishing 1 & 2 in the all around final. And if our Chinese hosts expect us to believe that half their team is over the required age of 16, then I bet the Dali Lama is back in Tibet cheering the Chinese on as well on his 53 inch plasma.
There are nearly 10,000 athletes at the Olympics; most are living in the Olympic Village. God bless the Chinese, they made sure that there were 100,000 condoms available for these athletes. Now with 15 NBA players in Beijing that might be prudent. You might also scoff that 10 per athlete is a bit rich but they ran out in the village at the Sydney Games in 2004. The Chinese are bit fanatical about birth control but 10 prophylactics per competitor for these games? What happens in Beijing stays in Beijing!
Swimming, gymnastics, women’s softball, track and field, I am cheering like a soccer mom. I am going to miss all of this in two weeks. But for now, Bob Costas and Jim Lampley are filling in the stories and telling me what is really important. And just when I thought I could not find Chris Collingsworth on another network, there he is interviewing Kobe and kibitzing with Costas. NBC must have 5,000 people reporting on the 10,000 athletes but probably less company provided condoms.
I can not finish without congratulating the French for yapping about how they were going to kick the US’s collective ass in the Men’s 400 Meter Free Style relay only to get out-touched at the finish. World Record Holder and obnoxious Frenchman Alain Bernard won his individual gold but he got chased down during the anchor leg at the end by Irvine’s finest Jason Lezak, who had never won a single gold in three Olympics. A 32-year old, swimming the anchor leg against the fastest Frenchman in history for the gold? I am going large on the red, white and blue all day long and Jason did not disappoint.
The French are great with sharing world opinions and unsupported yappiness. Now having supportive action to back up their shallow Elitism, that is a scarcer commodity for the frogs. Enjoying a collective history that includes more surrender flags than medal celebrations, the French finish was no surprise to rest of the world. So from the Nation that gave us foie gras, STFU! Let us know next time you need to get your head smacked in front of a billion people? We already bailed your sorry butts out 64 years ago so pipe down and get back to political scandals, brie cheese, Bordeaux wine and socialism. Here in America, we would kick your designer asses for sport, so do not give us any additional incentives.
Oh and my Canadian friends to the north, you all been making some noise as well about fat Americans, our world wide aggression and our plummeting dollar and economy. Not to say you are totally off base there and the Canadian Dollar is on the rebound so you should all be proud. But how many medals do you have, counting today? That would be none. Now Olympic medals do not make the country but if you are so great, do you have anyone who runs, jumps, swims or throws something well? Last I checked 50+ Nations have medals including Ethiopia with gold. Check the list, no Canucks anywhere? WTF? We might be fat down south, but apparently not all of us. And you get the only reason, we would ever go to visit Canada is because your dollar was weak and we could get some Cuban Cigars on the cheap. Otherwise, the largest tourist nation on the planet can go to Mexico where the peso is always weak and the weather and liquor are better. And my Mexican brothers have a bronze medal to boot. I know they can run fast, swim far and jump, I see it every day in Los Angeles. Hockey season is over and the Winter Olympics are two years away, wake up you Hosers!
To the red, white and blue in all of us, go team!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Get your Manny for nothing and get your chicks for free.
Just when Dodger Baseball was going to fall behind the Galaxy in terms of relevance, the Red Sox give Manny Ramirez to the Dodgers. It was a nice gesture. Bean town Renegade Frank McCourt, spurned when trying to buy the Red Sox, buys the Dodgers instead. He is a parking lot guy and Dodger Stadium has one big ass parking lot so it was love at first stripe.
The Yawkey family trust rebuffed Frank’s substandard, heavily leveraged offer to buy the Red Sox in 2002. Those New England Bluebloods certainly had an issue selling the historic tragedy that had been the Red Sox to the parking lot guy. He lost out and immediately turned to Fox in an effort to buy the Dodgers. Fox does not have any Bluebloods and Aussie Rupert Murdoch has gone BK at least once. Leverage and substandard are part of News Corp’s heritage, pedigree and HR manual. Fox not only sold him the team but took back a $120 million second secured with a Boston parking lot.
The McCourt’s have done a nice job marketing the Dodgers, selling seats and hot dogs. Attendance and concessions are at all time highs. There is not an award for that category but Frank and Jamie are buying nice homes and making all the right lists. When they are done upgrading their lifestyle, we are all confident that they will make a concerted effort to upgrade the team right after the Dodger Stadium Mall and parking lot remodels are completed.
The Dodgers will draw 40,000 a game if they are in last place. They were the first real professional sports franchise in LA. The Dodgers were the first local team to have their own stadium named for them. They brought the first World Championship to Los Angeles in any professional sport. Actually, it was any professional sport in all of California, but no need to gloat.
Baseball was the game of our youths and we will always show up late, leave early and are committed to talk on our cell phones at the game in utter deference to this great game. I ditched school to watch the 1974 World Series Dodgers vs. A’s at Mike McGuire’s house. Please do not tell his parents, we were up to some hijinks back then and Mr. Dukakis cut me some slack on the ensuing detention.
Ok, ok back to Manny. We are star-f---er’s in LA. We are not cheering the Lakers with Eddie Jones and Elden Campbell, we need Kobe and Shaq. The Kings have been solid but who was going to the games before Wayne Gretzky? The Dodgers have grinded it out with home grown talent for years. But the last Dodger World Series was 1988 with Orel, Kirk, epic home runs, Bash Brothers and Tommy. There were not many personalities on those teams but Tommy Lasorda could light up the building on his own. He took the heat off the players and provided the sound bites and charisma that we need in LA or you are not in the discussion. Who has created any electricity in the Ravine since Gibby’s epic blast in the fall of 1988?
Manny has lit the building. I love a 36 year old, Hall of Fame baseball player with two months left on his contract all day long. We have only socialized one time and he was no nice and respectful, that I thought it was more about my powerful audience than his true inner self. Regardless, he hit a 92 mph fast ball into the left field pavilion on Saturday night with such speed and power, that the D’back left fielder noticed that the ball had just landed 47 feet behind him, 10 rows up in the bleachers when he saw it on Sports Center later that night at the Sheraton. I watched the pitch and missed the bomb as well but I do not get paid for or highlight my cat like reflexes on my current resume.
Manny is probably just here through the end of the season. GM Ned Colletti pissed his budget on Andruw Jones and Jason Schmidt. Hello, Ned, nice calls. Enjoy Manny and do not factor him being here next year based on your allegiance. Sign up, tune in and watch a superstar earn next year’s payday each game. Andruw Jones is getting $18 Million for his efforts and he is off the Subway diet and just plain miserable. Manny already has more homeruns with the Dodgers in less than a week than payroll busting Jones has since April.
Manny works hard. He looks like he might burn a blunt, raise a ruckus, and have some fun with his peer group. But Manny has never been in the news for any unsavory events. He might have been a cancer in Boston but he could be the cure in LA. Boston had not won a World Series since 1918. In 2004 Manny lead the American League in Homeruns, slugging percentage and was the World Series MVP leading the Sox to their first Title in 96 years. He was not named in the Mitchell report. He is not doing kabala or banging Madonna. He is one of the best clutch hitters in all of baseball. And there is not one team that makes it to the World Series who would not replace their left Fiedler with Manny Ramirez if they got the chance at the dance.
He pushed Red Sox owner John Henry’s buttons for sure. If you have seen John Henry, you would want to push his button as well. John Henry attended four different colleges and never got a degree. His company JWH & Company had $3.8 billion in customer assets when he became majority owner of the Red Sox’s. Today, JWH has $292 million in total assets under management. That is still a substantial sum of money but a surprising 90% decline for such a self important man and his reputable company. He looks like he only comes out at night and he has reputation as such. Under his ownership, the Sox have won 2 World Series and increased value exponentially. John, keep ya’ yap shut, and pay Theo Epstein well to make you look good.
He is part of the new breed of short term owners who lust for the spotlight that their contrived wealth affords them while they have it. Frank McCourt may be no different. Surprisingly, George Steinbrenner may be the last of the old school owners even though he gave the O’Malley’s, Yawkey’s and the Wrigley’s heartburn in his day with his antics. If the chips are down, I want Manny at the plate rather than John Henry in the suite.
Get your money for nothing and Manny for free!
The Yawkey family trust rebuffed Frank’s substandard, heavily leveraged offer to buy the Red Sox in 2002. Those New England Bluebloods certainly had an issue selling the historic tragedy that had been the Red Sox to the parking lot guy. He lost out and immediately turned to Fox in an effort to buy the Dodgers. Fox does not have any Bluebloods and Aussie Rupert Murdoch has gone BK at least once. Leverage and substandard are part of News Corp’s heritage, pedigree and HR manual. Fox not only sold him the team but took back a $120 million second secured with a Boston parking lot.
The McCourt’s have done a nice job marketing the Dodgers, selling seats and hot dogs. Attendance and concessions are at all time highs. There is not an award for that category but Frank and Jamie are buying nice homes and making all the right lists. When they are done upgrading their lifestyle, we are all confident that they will make a concerted effort to upgrade the team right after the Dodger Stadium Mall and parking lot remodels are completed.
The Dodgers will draw 40,000 a game if they are in last place. They were the first real professional sports franchise in LA. The Dodgers were the first local team to have their own stadium named for them. They brought the first World Championship to Los Angeles in any professional sport. Actually, it was any professional sport in all of California, but no need to gloat.
Baseball was the game of our youths and we will always show up late, leave early and are committed to talk on our cell phones at the game in utter deference to this great game. I ditched school to watch the 1974 World Series Dodgers vs. A’s at Mike McGuire’s house. Please do not tell his parents, we were up to some hijinks back then and Mr. Dukakis cut me some slack on the ensuing detention.
Ok, ok back to Manny. We are star-f---er’s in LA. We are not cheering the Lakers with Eddie Jones and Elden Campbell, we need Kobe and Shaq. The Kings have been solid but who was going to the games before Wayne Gretzky? The Dodgers have grinded it out with home grown talent for years. But the last Dodger World Series was 1988 with Orel, Kirk, epic home runs, Bash Brothers and Tommy. There were not many personalities on those teams but Tommy Lasorda could light up the building on his own. He took the heat off the players and provided the sound bites and charisma that we need in LA or you are not in the discussion. Who has created any electricity in the Ravine since Gibby’s epic blast in the fall of 1988?
Manny has lit the building. I love a 36 year old, Hall of Fame baseball player with two months left on his contract all day long. We have only socialized one time and he was no nice and respectful, that I thought it was more about my powerful audience than his true inner self. Regardless, he hit a 92 mph fast ball into the left field pavilion on Saturday night with such speed and power, that the D’back left fielder noticed that the ball had just landed 47 feet behind him, 10 rows up in the bleachers when he saw it on Sports Center later that night at the Sheraton. I watched the pitch and missed the bomb as well but I do not get paid for or highlight my cat like reflexes on my current resume.
Manny is probably just here through the end of the season. GM Ned Colletti pissed his budget on Andruw Jones and Jason Schmidt. Hello, Ned, nice calls. Enjoy Manny and do not factor him being here next year based on your allegiance. Sign up, tune in and watch a superstar earn next year’s payday each game. Andruw Jones is getting $18 Million for his efforts and he is off the Subway diet and just plain miserable. Manny already has more homeruns with the Dodgers in less than a week than payroll busting Jones has since April.
Manny works hard. He looks like he might burn a blunt, raise a ruckus, and have some fun with his peer group. But Manny has never been in the news for any unsavory events. He might have been a cancer in Boston but he could be the cure in LA. Boston had not won a World Series since 1918. In 2004 Manny lead the American League in Homeruns, slugging percentage and was the World Series MVP leading the Sox to their first Title in 96 years. He was not named in the Mitchell report. He is not doing kabala or banging Madonna. He is one of the best clutch hitters in all of baseball. And there is not one team that makes it to the World Series who would not replace their left Fiedler with Manny Ramirez if they got the chance at the dance.
He pushed Red Sox owner John Henry’s buttons for sure. If you have seen John Henry, you would want to push his button as well. John Henry attended four different colleges and never got a degree. His company JWH & Company had $3.8 billion in customer assets when he became majority owner of the Red Sox’s. Today, JWH has $292 million in total assets under management. That is still a substantial sum of money but a surprising 90% decline for such a self important man and his reputable company. He looks like he only comes out at night and he has reputation as such. Under his ownership, the Sox have won 2 World Series and increased value exponentially. John, keep ya’ yap shut, and pay Theo Epstein well to make you look good.
He is part of the new breed of short term owners who lust for the spotlight that their contrived wealth affords them while they have it. Frank McCourt may be no different. Surprisingly, George Steinbrenner may be the last of the old school owners even though he gave the O’Malley’s, Yawkey’s and the Wrigley’s heartburn in his day with his antics. If the chips are down, I want Manny at the plate rather than John Henry in the suite.
Get your money for nothing and Manny for free!
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