Back from Spring Break

Just back from Ft. Lauderdale, Palm Springs and Maui. What goes on in college outside the baselines, goalposts and keg parties, is just as compelling as some of the athletics. I never left the Yard, but we dream big dreams. In fact a good portion of most days is spent dreaming.

March was maddening and as the madness receded, the toxins were purged and the Yard has hacked through that funk that sets in while underclassmen declare for the NBA, the Marlins and Cubs give their fans hope and the NBA playoffs scream for relevance. It was time of reflection, introspection and Dancing with the Stars. I was smelling the roses, paying attention to my children and dreaming about the American Pursuit.

The NBA Play offs have to grind through another week until we pay attention. Maverick fan, it is nice to have basketball end in April each year. Mark Cuban can go back to telling all of us how brilliant and relevant he is. Dirk Nowitski can get to Germany to ready for the Olympics and Dallas can get back to Cowboy football. None of that obnoxious pressure to win a second round series and keep playing. The Maverick’s season ended when they traded for Jason Kidd instead of Shaq Fu in February.

I am saddled firmly on the Laker bandwagon, again. Seat belt fastened, Purple and Gold Pennant in the window, Jack Nicholson Ray Bans…Go Pau! I took a few years off, kept my mouth shut and praised the other franchises for their functionality when we discussed the dysfunctional Buss family tree. No group therapy there but everyone looks a whole lot smarter when you get a 7 foot Spaniard for seven blue beads and a Kwame. In other news, Chris Paul against Tony Parker in the next round is going to be epic. How do you think Mark Cuban felt while he watched his 35 year old, $20 million a year point guard, Jason Kidd, get completely run off the court by Chris Paul who makes $2.6 million and is 12 years younger.

With the end of the regular season, I do not miss the Clipper Nation radio spots. You know the ones about “Your name is on the back of the jersey but the name on the front says it all, CLIPPERS.” Yes, that does pretty much say it all that is for sure. Clips, you are right there with the New York Knicks, the Arizona Cardinals, and the Tampa Ray Devil Rays where the name on the front says it all and the name on the back is seen leaving. Clipper PR department, “BTW: There is no freaking Clipper Nation!”

I can understand that Kevin Love wants to go to the NBA. If he is in the top half of the first round, he will make more money next year than his father earned in his entire NBA career. Rookies drafted in the first round have two years guaranteed. Top 15 picks last year signed for between $3-7 million for that two years. Kevin Love should be in that group. Hard to argue with that dough at age 19! I have never seen that many Benjamins at age 50 and Kevin does not have kids in private schools.

But K-Love, stop the references to your UCLA legacy! UCLA has a legacy like no other and your tenure will be a footnote not a milestone. You did a nice job as a freshman as did LEW ALCINDOR and BILL WALTON, who graduated, are in the UCLA Hall of Fame, the NBA Hall of Fame and the NBA top 50 Basketball players of all time. I am not sure you will be listed on any of those LEGACIES. But in your one season, you did average 17 points and 10 rebounds, made a Final Four and made your father proud. Good luck and invest wisely. Remember, Saturday April 5, 2008 when you got dunked over and shut down all night long by future 2^nd round picks in the NBA. That will be your next 5 years before you play in Greece and dominate adults who have hair like Teen Wolf and have too many consonants in their names. You will get your 30 silver pieces but the price was your legacy.

Rocket Roger Clemens should have kept his yap shut. His buddy Andy Pettite did it right. First you lie, then you admit a small half truth, then you admit you were wrong and ask for forgiveness of everyone that you let down without really admitting anything and then two weeks later, you ask the media what the big deal is? Andy is being deified for basically lying but then coming clean that “he tried steroids once but he did not inhale”. Roger could not do that. Pride is not a close friend of judgment. And Rog, you lie to those boys with the short hair, Lincolns, and long memories, you are begging them to troll your trash and your life. You have to be careful because the next thing you know, they find something like you had a ten year affair with a teenage country singer. That is ridiculous for a family man and patriotic American like you but just be careful. Too late to follow Andy’s lead!

Finally, summer is for baseball and if you do not get baseball, then you are a communist. It is really that simple. Baseball is the oldest team sport in the nation. Baseball is analogous to America because you grind it out virtually every day, no one goes home until someone wins no matter how long it takes, and an immigrant can pursue the American dream with the right paperwork. There are some inconveniences and they stop serving beer after the 7^th inning! WTF, what if you get there in the 4^th inning, can I still get beer for seven innings? So to you freaking non-baseball commies, we have you in our cross hairs and we are sending the runner from third.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. ~Dave Barry