Wednesday, March 30, 2022

This is the new normal, right?

 It is devastating to see the once robust Ukrainian cities reduced to rubble and smoke. In the decades since their independence from the USSR, Ukraine has thrived. This horror is prescient and has been forecasted since Crimea. What is surprising for the rest of the world is the ineptitude of the Russian “Special Operation.” Ukraine resistance is stiff, but the Russia war machine is a shit show. Putin thought this would be over by now and he would be drinking Stoli in Kyiv. Putin is exposed as the despot he is with a second world military farce. His rhetoric about the demon Ukraine state is getting stale even in Russia where everything is stale. As a KGB legend, he watched in rage, while Gorbachev dismantled the “great” USSR and was reduced to the pitons of just Russia. He has been waiting for this long game and he is not going to retreat without negotiating real estate. China has refused to take sides. They are wondering if it might be time to make a move on Taiwan, with everyone focused on Ukraine. Not to be forgotten, Kim Jung has been launching missiles daily in a constant “look at me” attention grab. The rest of us are just trying to find normal while standing behind Ukraine from afar. Ukrainians may never again enjoy normalcy.

The Academy Awards returned with their self-congratulatory aura. The Red Carpet, the celebrities, the dresses, and  whatever the hell Timothee Chamalet was wearing was normal, right? It all seemed light and normal until Chris Rock made fun of Jada’s dome and Wilbur got on his high horse and stormed the castle. Yard interns have studied the brief clip for days and it appeared neither Rock nor Smith knew what was going to happen while the Fresh Prince was making his way up there. Rock was smiling and having a “really?” moment, then boom he got bitch slapped. Will did not even go Ali on him, it was a celebrity slap. The Academy immediately announced an investigation into the celebrity slap violence. I would suggest the Academy ask ABC for the footage. There would seem to be other violence issues in this country rather than actor vs. comedian that require attention. Letting Smith stay in his seat and then win Best Actor 40 minutes later was surreal. They should have relegated Smith to the balcony and made him wave from up there when he won.

The gateway to the new normal for the Yard seems to be the same wormhole that snapped shut in March 2020. March Madness was the Yard path back through the COVID labyrinth. The ingress back to convention began on March 17th with eight NCAA games followed by eight more on the 18th. There were full crowds, magic moments, and the vivid energy to our viewing experience. Sister Jean could not work her celestial magic and the Ramblers went down in the first round. Then the St. Joseph’s Peacocks flew into the Elite Eight. They took down the Kentucky Wildcats and Purdue along the way as double-digit underdogs. Having grown up with peacocks in the San Gabriel valley, they are loud and obnoxious but amazing in moments fleshed out for all to see. The Peacocks played the role until the Tarheel whopping at the precipice of basketball folklore of a 15th seed. It would have been historic. Cinderella fulfilled the nation’s love of the underdog. In the end, basketball royalty bashed the dreams of the high seeded and returned normalcy to the Final Four. St. Joseph’s entire budget for D1 basketball is $1.6 million. UNC basketball coach Hubert Davis’s salary is $1.75 million. In the end it is still all about the Benjamins.

With the conclusion of the NCAA tournament, the Yard enters our annual sports doldrums. There is little wind in our sails as the NBA meanders towards the finals. Baseball has Opening Day and then relevance about 120 games later. The NHL has the same trajectory as the NBA with the opening playoff rounds being ordinary. The  NFL Draft is the main sports highlight of April besides March Madness bleeding into the first week. The NFL draft will be exciting this year because it is in Las Vegas. This city can put on a show and the draft will be a wonderful platform for all to witness. It is a draft, 15 minutes on the clock, put on a team hat, tell a backstory, and speculate about the future. The NFL drags it out for three nights with commercial spots, but it is still just the draft. With mock drafts and ceaseless discussions about NFL team needs, it underscores that there is nothing else to report unless another athlete screws up. If you are an athlete, you do not want to “use poor judgement” in April. You will have the whole news cycle for your sordid tale. October is a better month for transgressions.

The Dodgers were silently stalking Freddie Freeman during free agency. Dodger GM Friedman and the team knew Freeman would stay with Atlanta if the numbers were in line. The Braves numbers were not in line and Freddie packed his flip flops and headed to the west coast. His presence should offset the loss of Corey Seager substantially. Corey is a special player, and we wish him well in Texas. If we remove the COVID bubble, Corey averaged playing 111 games a season for the past five. Freeman averaged 150. The Rangers famously overpaid for A-Rod decades ago, we hope it works out for Seager. We just thought he was interested in titles and that has never happened in Fort Worth. It seems like the Dodgers will be competing for titles for next few seasons with the roster and payroll. The Rangers are more than a Seager away from competing.

The curious case of Trevor Bauer will play out over the next few months. He has an oversized spot in the Dodger payroll and has not pitched since last June. He has not been charged with battery or sexual assault, but the optics were never good for TB. Bauer admitted that he punched and choked out a woman for their consensual sexual gratification. Most baseball fans cannot grasp what that is all about and Pasadena PD would not prosecute. MLB will suspend Bauer for games in 2022, but he will be back in the Dodger clubhouse this summer. Trev has never been beloved in any of the clubhouses he has hung his uniform on. Even back to his days with the Bruins, he was a talented A-hole. He has not changed but he will pitch this year. He might be a difference maker or a major distraction. The Yard thinks both but winning changes perception and he can pitch even if he is weird. Grienke was a strange one but not a sexual miscreant. Deshaun Watson is getting all the love in Cleveland, and he has twenty-two women coming forward about his predilections. Bauer almost seems like a poser compared to Deshaun. They are now both hashtag brethren forever.

Playoff Time:  Kyrie Irving is the man who said the earth was flat and vaccines were not to be taken. He backed off the world being flat, but he won the vaccine battle with NYC.

Wednesday, March 16, 2022

The Tournament Edition

 It is hard to maintain the mirth and folly that are Yard staples as Russian tanks roll down Ukraine highways. It is a shocking scene to see Vlad the Bad ordering his forces to overthrow their former satellite state. COVID isolated Putin is displaying the patience and anxiety of an adolescent wearing a face mask. He is sitting so far away from his people in news footage he must think they have Ebola. Putin spins misinformation better than Facebook. Or in addition to FB and Twitter with Russian sponsored campaigns to discredit Ukraine and its leaders. It is hard to understand the justification, but Ukraine is not the poor stepchild Gorbachev spun out of the Soviet orbit decades ago. Ukraine is a prosperous nation with famous people and other trappings. Hell, they paid Hunter Biden $500,000 a year for who knows what. No one stateside is paying the artist formerly known as Hunter that kind of cake but Ukraine’s Burisma did. God bless, the Ukrainian people! They are fighting hard with the world watching in disbelief. We hope they all get out on the other side of this travesty.

Madness has already erupted in the Yard Board room. Tournament white boards and newspapers are strewn haphazardly while ESPN illuminates the room in the background. Gonzaga is everybody’s favorite after making the championship final last year. They barely beat the 11th seed UCLA Bruins in the national semifinal. The Bulldogs got scorched by Baylor in the championship game. They lost serious talent from the LY team to the NBA. Head coach Mark Few got a DUI over the summer and they are now led by a 7-foot first-year student, all 197 pounds of him. Everybody wants to see the Zags finally bring a title home to Spokane. Thirty-one percent of the brackets have the Bulldogs doing just that. They are the leader in the locker room. Lots can go wrong on the road to New Orleans. Historically, most of Yard experience has been things can go awry once in NOLA. It is madness.

The NCAA basketball tournament erupts each March except 2020. We all know what happened that year and we have been living a Groundhog Day existence since. In 2020, team bids had already been awarded. Every team had played a full season, but the COVID wolves were circling and before a single game, the tourney rug was pulled. Teams that had built their squads for that tournament in that year, it was devastating. The 2020 Dayton Flyers had one of their greatest teams ever. This year they did not even get into the tournament. Everyone got a bonus year of eligibility. There are a lot of sixth seniors playing important games. Experience is usually a big advantage at the dance, both in life and in hoops. The Mid-Majors have shined through the madness these past several tourneys. Bluebloods have thrashed about during the uprisings although it did seem to affect Illinois or Kansas primarily.  

Baseball broke through the loggerheaded logjam. The fans hardly knew there was a strike going on and, in the end, it was just noise. The owners and players get a bunch more dough and the fans get $12 hotdogs and $20 beers. The money is flowing with massive contracts for Corey Seager and Max Scherzer as they exited LA. We hope that Freddie Freeman is on his way to Dodger town now that Atlanta cut ties from their post Chipper legend. Freddie led the Braves over to the Dodgers and their first title since the 90’s. Do not let the door hit you, big guy. Come on over, the weather is nice and with you, Muncy, Trae Turner and Ginger in the infield, another title could be on the horizon.

The Lakers this year are one of the bigger disappointments in not only the NBA but the entire sports continuum. They were the favorites at the beginning of the season and now are not even going to make the playoffs. Lebron is playing hard most nights, but the Lakers got old fast. They traded their best young talent Kyle Kuzma for a square peg in Russell Westbrook. Westbrook plays hard but now he hardly plays at all in this aging round peg of a team. King James finally got to play with his friend Carmelo and Anthony is chipping in thirteen points a night. Melo never has played defense and 2022 is no exception.

The Laker docudrama Winning Time is a fun ride. There have only been two episodes so far but well played. John C. Reilly is fantastic as the open shirt, womanizing swashbuckler Jerry Buss. Jerry West cannot be happy with his portrayal by Jason Clarke. West always had a love/hate relationship with the Buss family. He was already in the job when Buss bought the team and they butted heads from the start. Even with all of years of service, Jerry never paid him big dough. Magic, Kareem, Norm Nixon, and the rest of the Showtime era are starting to emerge week to week. It was the best era of Laker Basketball and only surpassed by Jordan’s Bulls of the modern era. It was more fun than the Lebron era. We thought there would be more than a bubble title but here we are.


Go Bruins!

Friday, December 24, 2021

Merry Christmas from the Yard

 During the holiday season, all kinds of clever Christmas ideas are presented on the airwaves. A few years ago, it was 23 and me and all the DNA testing programs. We commented on the creepiness of such an invasive gift. It is no surprise all kinds of wacky and frightening DNA connections have been reported. This season Master Class is hawking their masters for their classes. Yard staff wondered what makes talented writers, comedians, and others competent teachers of their craft. Look at the job Michael Jordan has been doing with the Charlotte Bobcats. He is one of the greatest ever in any sport. During his  tenure as owner and GM of Bobcats, they have had a winning record just twice. Over the weekend, former president Bill Clinton was advertising a leadership class on master class. Now Billy Bob has not been leading much for a long time. We did watch American Crime Story about he and Monica’s trysts during his presidency. The only leading Clinton appeared to be doing was Ms. Lewinsky by the hand to the dark recesses of the oval office beyond those invasive cameras.

The Oakland A’s have made more trips to Las Vegas than Ben Affleck. A’s management contends that they are seriously considering Las Vegas as the new home for the team in 2024. Negotiations with the City of Oakland have been stalled since the late 70’s. The A’s want to keep the pressure on the city by exploring alternatives. They have visited Las Vegas over a dozen times in the past several months. They have scouted locations while having major sunshine blown up their bottoms. Las Vegas officials are professionals in that regard keeping the sunshine flowing up the chute for whales. Oakland officials have enjoyed fine dining, shows and loyalty rewards points. We would love to have another Oakland transplant, but it does feel like these players are playing us.

The NFL has been a regular Yard foil because of their hypocrisy. The NFL would never allow professional football in Nevada because of the scourge of gambling. Today, the scourge of gambling is a major driving force in NFL marketing. Terry Bradshaw is promoting a segment each week called Win Terry’s money. It is a betting proposition supported by the NFL and Fox. The NFL has learned albeit a bit late that when people have scratch on the game, they become more fervent fans. Fervent fans are a mainstay of the NFL and gambling is a huge part. FanDuel, fantasy football, and legalized sports books are driving popularity for the sport. This does not go unnoticed by Roger Goodell and company. In the 1960’s, players got suspended for being associated with gambling or actually doing it. In 2021, they are doing paid advertisements promoting it. The Pro Bowl, Draft and Super Bowl are on their way with legalized sports gambling in thirty-six states, the NFL has changed their stance.

Jon Gruden got run out of the NFL for his racist, homophonic, misogynistic emails that were uncovered during the investigation of the Washington Football Team and their toxic work environment. Gruden was working for ESPN at that time and was good friends with then Redskins GM Bruce Allen. Lord knows, many of us might cringe if your emails were exposed and the opinions, we might share with a friend what we do not share with the world. The Yard is not justifying the derogatory and disgusting comments Gruden made in private to a friend. We are a bit shocked that the NFL went to such lengths to expose his emails. The emails were “leaked” first to some news outlets. When the story did not gain viral traction, it was then leaked to the Wall Street Journal. That spill got the viral ignition that cost Gruden his job. The Raiders have always been a diverse organization and his ancient emails would not survive the season. The NFL did review 650,000 emails associated with this inquiry. Apparently, Gruden was the only person who wrote anything inflammatory. His calling Roger Goodell a euphemism for a vagina in one of his missives might have sealed his fate. We are sure it was not personal. The NFL has never had a vendetta for the Raiders, right?

The Yard hopes everyone is coping with the scourge of COVID. It is a rinse and repeat year. This Omicron phase has been voracious, and the wolves are circling the campfire. The science of the vaccines seems to be playing out in real time for the unvaccinated. With over five hundred million doses jabbed and 203 million people vaccinated, there have been a microscopic amount of post poke issues. Nudnicks like Robert F. Kennedy Jr. are still trying to evangelize their message of not trusting Fauci or the science. I was an economics major so I cannot comment on the science besides it seems to be working. The patients populating the ICU with COVID issues are largely unvaccinated. Jonas Salk was a hero for the polio vaccine. There has not been a polio related death in this country for decades. At the height of that pandemic, polio killed 50,000. COVID deaths are at 800K plus and climbing. Sure, there are the existing conditions and other statistical anomalies but even if that were 50% of the cases, it is a substantial number. There is no argument from the Yard regarding your personal choices because it does not seem to have influence. We have yet to hear a conversation where either side of the discussion says, “Wow, that is a good point.”  We will stick with science, and we will miss some of you in the future.

End of an era:  When the Buss Family sold naming rights to the Fabulous Forum to Great Western Savings and Loan, Laker nation was outraged. The commercial naming of Sports Venues was still quite a new branding exercise that that time. The Forum was the Lakers home not the Great Western Forum to many of us. When the Lakers moved to LA and the Staples Center, no one complained. Naming rights were part of the process to build a new stadium. Alas, our beloved Staples Center is becoming the Crypto.com Arena. It is a harsh change, and it is not necessarily a good one. But $700 million gets you a named arena for 20 years and Staples was not re-upping. It does seem the arena and this Laker team have jumped the shark. And if you think that sucks, welcome to Las Vegas and the rebranded Harry S Reid airport.