Redeeming Madness

The Yard has often effused that the NCAA Men’s basketball championship is the greatest event in all of sports each year.  This season has done nothing to dispel that notion.  The Yard knows that there is a Women’s championship as well.  But ladies, you are kicking our male asses all over the place, maybe you can let us hang onto The Madness!  Zion could not save the Blue Devils which their championship had been forecast in the Dead Sea Scrolls.  It is strange to have one named Zion leading a Devil of any color.  The Virginia Cavaliers have gone from being the biggest upset in tournament history to winning the championship in 388 days.  It is the most remarkable story in recent March Madness lore.  Tony Bennett is a class act.  He and his team owned their loss to the 64^th ranked team in the tournament in 2018.  They went straight back to what they had been doing and won the whole thing this year.  Yard enthusiasm for the Cavs victory is because of their story and we picked them to win in the Yard pool.  Texas Tech and Chris Beard are a great story as well, but the Cavs are the champs.

In 2016, UNLV thought they had found a new head coach in this same Chris Beard.  Beard coached Arkansas Little Rock to a 30-5 record and an NCAA bid in his only season there.  He got a lot of attention and the Running Rebels were looking for a new coach and they hired Beard.  In another time and space, UNLV had hired Rollie Massimino to replace Hall of Famer Jerry Tarkanian.  Rollie had won an improbable NCAA title with Villanova and was thought to be the answer but there were many questions.  Unbeknown to the University Regents, Massimino had cut a side deal with the athletic department in addition to his main contract.  He essentially was getting paid an extra $375K per year that was “off the books” in addition to the $500K the Nevada Regents had agreed to pay him.  No one was the wiser until Rollie got canned and demanded the side deal be included in his severance package.  The ensuing feces fest lead to new requirements for Nevada Collegiate sports contracts.  The new vetting process extended and delayed the final contract that Beard was to sign to coach UNLV.  Texas Tech had fired Patrick Knight and swooped into the contractual purgatory and snatched up Beard before he coached even a single game.  The Yard is not sure Beard could have had the success if he had been stayed but it cannot get much worse for UNLV. UNLV still considers him a former coach.  Myopia is not just a Yard thing.

The Yard’s earliest narratives were to trash the San Francisco Giants and the USC Trojans with myopic prejudice.  There have been other targets of our praise and our disdain, but the Giants and the Trojans were our villains that drove our earliest key strokes of disdain.  Now traditional media outlets have usurped us because there is just too much shocking material blasting at the foundations of these two institutions. The Yard is left with mere table scraps of vitriol.  Giant President and CEO Larry Baer has been suspended for a viral video of a physical alteration with his wife.  The Giants have a first-place payroll and a last place record. As far as USC goes, just google “USC Scandals” and make sure your anti-virus software is up to date.  Larry Baer should weather his storm, do a mea culpa with Oprah and be back at the helm by the All-Star break.  USC alumni are not sure when their reign of terror is going to end.  No academic institution was more villainous than USC in the recent admissions scandal.  Dr. Dre stepped up and let everyone know his daughter got into USC without any bribes.  The rapper turned billionaire did donate $70 million to USC.  We are sure that did not have any influence on his daughter becoming a Trojan, right?  He should have just said he got her in the old-fashioned way.

Robert Kraft apologized for the shame he brought the NFL and his family for the events at the Orchid Day spa in Jupiter, Florida.  His attorneys then went on to plead not guilty and demand a jury trial.  The two sequences seem contradictory.  To apologize for something that you are legally contending did not happen is strange at best.  Kraft’s attorneys are fighting the legality of the video tapes of his activities inside the spa on those two fateful days. There certainly are some sketchy court orders that allowed the FBI to bum rush the spa and install cameras without their knowledge or Kraft’s.  Who knows how many times he had been there before that fateful weekend?  No one is denying Kraft was at the spa, they are contesting what happened in the spa.  A billionaire at a seedy day spa in a strip mall, what do you think was going on for the 30 minutes Bobby was there on Saturday and Sunday?  If the tapes are admitted, it is going to be like the Marv Albert trial a few decades back.  Marv vehemently denied that he had bit a woman while in the throws of passion.  Then she testified in open court about Marv wearing women’s clothes and singing show tunes before he bit her.  Marv ended the trial right then and took a plea.  If the video tapes are allowed, and we hope they are, Mr. Kraft will be on Oprah as well.

Ernie Grunfeld was fired by the Washington Wizards last week.  He had been the general manager of this moribund franchise for 16 years.  Owner Ted Leonsis said, “We did not meet our stated goals of qualifying for the playoffs this season and, despite playing with injuries to several key players, we have a culture of accountability and a responsibility of managing to positive outcomes”. Granted Leonsis inherited Grunfeld when he acquired the team, but Ernie has been one of the more inept President of Basketball Operations in the NBA for over a decade.  We are not sure when the whole accountability thing started in Washington, but it should have been before they signed John Wall to that ridiculous contract.  Grunfeld is the guy who gave Gilbert Arenas life.  And he is a doppelganger for Ron Jeremy to boot.

Magic Johnson stepping down from the Lakers needed to happen sooner rather than later.  The Yard is thrilled he realized his full hearted, half assed efforts to turn around the Lakers was an abject failure. Rob Pelinka should be next to the curb.  Luke Walton is the least of this dysfunctional franchise’s problems.  DeAngelo Russell is thriving in Brooklyn.  Julius Randle put up big numbers with NOLA this year.  They are the pieces that could have worked with King James this year, but they were dispatched to wait for this summer’s free agents.  Magic knows it is not going to be pretty and whatever he promised James when he lured him, he no longer wants to face. Magic has a multitude of business interests including the Dodgers.  He has projects all over the US and he is involved with the Lakers because…?  Jeannie needed a familiar shoulder to lean on when she was throwing her brother out the door.  No one does not like Magic including Lebron, but he was more ceremonial rather than the operational requirements the job demands.  Ernie Grunfeld may have failed in Washington but at least he was 100% committed to that failure.  Johnson is about 20% committed to a Laker team that has become second fiddle to the Clippers in LA.

Overtime: The DNA testing revolution that is happening is interesting and terrifying.  In dystopian novels, subjugated humans are forced to provide their genetic data to control them.  In 2019, people are paying to give up this information to unknown data sources.  Cold cases being solved is being heralded as a benefit of this unprecedented disclosure of personal data.  We are not certain on how we feel about it and we are double helix curious for sure.  The Yard is no fan of the Kardashians and keeping up.  But we would watch the episode where the girls, mom and any of the other unsavory characters take the test and share the results on television.  It will be the highest rated episode in their history.  Kris, set it up.  Your ratings are down and there are only so many men your daughters can bang into the show.

Double Overtime:  NBA players, stay away from the Kardashians.  Your marriage could end in 31 days, you will still want to cheat on them, and you could end up in coma in a whorehouse in Pahrump.  Consider this a PSA and it will keep you off Oprah.

A Day at the Spa

The Yard just picked this one up of the airwaves.  What do you call a Blue Bentley in a Florida strip mall for 12 minutes on a Sunday?  A Kraft job!  I thought it was clever and lord knows we have been waiting for a long time to kick the Patriots while they are up.  They have not been down too much in this century.  To the outrage of many outside of New England, the Patriots have put together one of the most remarkable championship runs in professional sports history.  Sure, the Yankees have four times as many titles, but the Pats have done their damage in this time and space.  The Yanks won half their titles before Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier.  The Yankees have won two WS this century.  New England is the leader in the clubhouse between the Red Sox and Patriots titles this century.

Which brings us right back to Mr. Kraft and his visit to the Orchids of Asia day spa in Jupiter, FL.  The Yard should state clearly that these are merely allegations and Bobby the dope has pleaded not guilty to these charges.  The facts are murky but the fact the Jupiter PD had video cameras in the facility documenting activities might give Kraft and his legal teams pause.  From reported accounts, the New England Patriots owner arrived at 11:00 AM in his chauffer driven $220,000 blue Bentley to the spa in question on Sunday January 20.  Kraft entered the spa and was back in the Bentley within 15 minutes and then straight to the airport.  He was whisked in his private jet to the AFC Championship game in KC where the Pats prevailed on their way to another Super Bowl victory.  Kraft knew the spa because he had been there the day before for a similar servicing chauffeured in the white Bentley.  It was a twofer weekend in Jupiter for the billionaire, allegedly.  The advertised services at the spa apparently are $79 and Kraft flipped the workers a Benjamin on top.  He may be stupid, but he is no cheap skate!  Bobby, Elliot Spitzer was on a NY Attorney General pay plan and he could afford the Four Seasons hotel room and the $2500 coed independent contractor doing it under her own free will, as misplaced as that sounds.  We do not think the Orchids of Asia provide the same freedom of choice to their workers or comp plan.

The Yard only has friends who have relayed stories of the activities at certain spas that provide enhanced services to their clientele.  If Mr. Kraft had a chance to re-think it, he might want to reconsider that the cops do have his Blue Bentley in the parking lot that morning and the white one the day before. Law enforcement had four cameras inside the spa as well.  Video has him walking into the spa on Saturday and Sunday.  He could have been getting a mani-pedi but these are not typical 15 minutes services.  If the allegations are true, it is an impressive performance by a 77-year-old juggling the pressure of getting a happy ending with a plane to catch!  In the end, the din of these transgressions will not subside in his lifetime.  These allegations will forever be on Kraft’s Wiki page.  Superbowl Titles and team success will always be in the forefront but the personal tab will always bear a footnote about Kraft’s Days at the Spa.

The lingering Bryce Harper free agent saga got settled suddenly last Thursday.  Sports media everywhere blew up with the historic signing by the Philadelphia Philles of Harper.  It was a ridiculous thirteen-year deal for Harper.  It will take Harper to his 39^th birthday.  The Phills are getting him on the cheap for an average salary of $25 million.  There are several players making more than $25 mil a season, but no one has it guaranteed until they are almost forty!  There is no opt-out clause and there is a no trade clause.  It almost sounds like Bryce has been sentenced to thirteen seasons in Philly at a prevailing wage.  God Bless him if he and Scott Boras can shake down that deal.  The Phillies are on the verge and Harper could be the guy to take them over the top or blow the top off the place.  Harper does not have a good understanding yet of Phillie fan expectations and the vitriol that comes when not met.  It is not always a fun place to be if you are the high paid performer who is not performing in the moment.  Ask Pablo Sandoval how his days in Boston were as the high paid bust.

The Yard was hoping that the San Francisco Giant’s blinked and pulled the trigger on Harper.  The Giants did not want the Dodgers getting him. The Dodgers were playing the same game with the Giants.  The Giants anxiety was displayed with their 10-year $310 million offer. With one of the highest payrolls in MLB, adding $30 million for an outfielder in a ballpark that does allow many home-runs seems foolish.  The Dodgers tried to flip the game board and offer the $45 million for 4 years.  Biggest annual contract ever but only taking young Harper to age 30 and not almost 40. The Giants attendance dipped last year to 2006 levels with average ticket prices up over 50% since 2006.  The product on the field has dipped to 1996 levels.  Harper might have provided a reason for another couple hundred thousand to pass through the turnstiles and keep the hope alive for a few years in the bay.  Well done, Zaidi, dodged the bullet that hit the Phillies square in the forehead like Jimmy Hoffa leaving the Red Fox restaurant in 1975.

Golden State is 14-7 since Boogie Cousins has started to play a significant role.  For his first ten games, the Warriors were 9-1 and rolling but 5-6 over the next few weeks.  The excitement of Boogie wears out early for most teams.  He is averaging 15.5 points and 8.1 rebounds for the team by the back bay.  He is also averaging 2.4 turnovers and 3.6 personal fouls.  He is a huge liability defensively in pick and roll plays and is not a good perimeter defender.  The Warriors are talking a good game that bringing back 34-year-old Andrew Bogut was part of the master plan.  Bogut last played for Lakers for 24 games in 2017.  Since then, he has been playing for the Sydney Kings in Australia. He has been performing well for Australia. Bogut is a superior defender to Cousins which is not saying much.  It speaks more to Golden States desperation as the final days of the dynasty may be looming. Clay Thompson is a free agent at the end of the season and Kevin Durant can opt out and sounds like he might.  Everyone is saying Boogie is happy about the move.  We will see how he manages his happiness when he sees his playing time diminish from 25 down into the teens.

UCLA women’s gymnastics is the most exciting program at the University right now. We hope football and basketball rebound in 2019-20 but the women’s gymnastics team is surging. After, winning the NCAA title in 2018, they are back in top form this year.  They did lose this past weekend at Oklahoma by 2 tenths of a point.  The match was nationally televised on ESPN.  The Sooners Men’s basketball team was playing West Virginia that same weekend in a big game.  The basketball game was attended by 6100 fans.  The women’s gymnastics had over 10,000 fans cheering the Sooners to victory. 

UCLA men’s gymnastics used to be the gold standard.  Tim Daggett, Mitch Gaylord and the legendary Peter Vidmar won Olympic gold.  Title IX lead to the closure of several non-revenue men’s sports in the 1990’s and men’s gymnastics was among the first.  The women’s team has carried the torch for the U winning seven titles since 1997.  These Bruins are not the Olympic waifs that have been on the Olympic podium and in the news the last 18 months.  These are strong collegiate women who have been rocking Pauley this year not the basketball team that got the place built.  The lady Bruins are outdrawing the Bruin hoopsters by nearly double although the matches are generally free of charge.  If you have not seen Katelyn Ohashi’s floor routine, you have not been on social media or watching television.  She has recorded four perfect 10.0 and is undefeated this year on the floor.  She is exciting and brings a spirit that is fun to watch.  You Tube her if you have been in a cave.

The Super Bowl Edition

The 1972 Super Bowl, Super Bowl VI, was played at Tulane Stadium in New Orleans.  It was 39 degrees at kickoff and remains the coldest outdoor Super Bowl ever played.  Carol Channing, Ella Fitzgerald and Al Hirt were the halftime entertainment and I am sure they heated things up! Duane Thomas rushed for 95 yards and a touchdown leading the Cowboys to their first Super Bowl title.  When asked at the postgame conference “If he was that fast?” His dour response was “Evidently”.   Thomas was asked if the Super Bowl was the Ultimate game.  His response, “If it’s the Ultimate game, how come they’re playing it again next year?” His perspective is refreshing given the hysteria that has come to be associated with this game.

It is tortuous path that has led the Yard back to the Ram’s band wagon.  The Dallas playoff victory was sweet in how it played that day and in Yard history.  The win over the Saints was tainted but unchanged in its results.  And here come the hated Patriots.  The Boston Red Sox already ripped our guts out in the World Series. Rams do not like seeing Brady and company smarting off their loss in last year’s contest and rounding into a force of nature these playoffs.

Much has been made this past week about the vastly more experienced Patriots facing the youthful exuberant Jared Goff lead Rams and the rest of McVay’s kids.  This is only Goff’s second season as a starter and of course his first Super Bowl.  Tom the terrific is playing in his 9^th.  He has passed Joe Montana, Terry Bradshaw and all the legends from the early years.  The Patriot’s success has not endeared them to many.  When Brady began this vision quest to become the greatest, he was a second year QB playing in his first Super Bowl.  In Super Bowl XXXVI, the Patriots were two touchdown underdogs to HOF great Kurt Warner and the greatest show on turf.  The former 6^th round pick was not expected to be able to keep pace with the high-powered Ram offense.  Coach Belichick crafted a brilliant defense to stop the Rams squeezing them into a tight low scoring game.  Many argued it was the early days Patriot’s espionage.  Several Ram players recalled, Pat defenders calling out their plays at the line even though the plays by the Rams were only used in that game.  The Patriots were finally exposed and fined long afterwards in the New England vortex of obfuscation.

There is lots of history of 2^nd year quarterbacks winning their first Super Bowl.  So, although Goff could be intimidated by the spectacle and circumstance, he has had others succeed under similar pressures.  Besides Brady, Russell Wilson was a second-year starter for Seattle when they won the Big Game XLVIII.  Before Wilson, Big Ben had won his first Super Bowl in his second year.  The much-maligned Colin Kaepernick was all over the news this week without even taking a snap since 2016.  But he was leading the 49ers to victory in the 2012 Super Bowl in his second season before the lights went out at the Superdome.  The Ravens rallied to win and Kaepernick was out of football four years later.  Dan Marino played in his only Super Bowl in his second season.  Dandy would play another sixteen years, act in an Ace Ventura movie, get enshrined in Canton but never reach the game again. So, Goff is not in rarefied aid but the O2 might seem scarce at times under the lights.

If the Patriots win the game, they will tie the Pittsburgh Steelers for most titles.  It only took the Steelers eight Super Bowls for their six.  On the flip side, if the Patriots lose, they will become the all-time leader in Super Bowl losses.  They are in tie with the Broncs at five losses apiece in the Big Game.  Much has been made of the Patriots repeated Super Bowls.  They have been good, but they also reign over the AFC East. Since realignment in 2002, the Patriots have .764 winning percentage.  No other team is near .500.  The Patriots are .788 against the rest of the AFC least.  The Pats get to play the Jets, Dolphins and the Bills twice each year.  They always win the AFC East, usually get Home Field advantage and only must win two games at home to get the championship.  It is still remarkable and the envy of other fans everywhere.

Super Bowl weekend is one of the biggest weekends all year in Las Vegas.  New Years is always a fece fest on the strip and March Madness brings throngs for that first weekend of insanity.  But the Super Bowl, or the Big Game as it is known in Las Vegas brings in up to 300,000 revelers for the game.  It will be interesting to see when the Raiders get the Super Bowl in their new crib in 2025 or so.  It is hard to imagine how many people would come to Las Vegas when the actual game is here!  We also wondered if Las Vegas can call it the Super Bowl because this weekend it is The Big Game.  All the print and media ads for viewing parties, beer specials and even betting lines all reference The Big Game.  Several years ago the NFL cracked down on bars and restaurants advertising using their trademarked Super Bowl.  Maybe when the official game is here in Las Vegas, the Super Bowl name might show up with the teams.

The Dodgers have been relatively quiet this off season besides the salary purge swap with the Reds.  Kemp and Puig were not in the Dodgers future.  We are pretty sure that the Dodgers are not in the World Series without Matt Kemp last year.  When the Dodgers young Turks struggled or went on the DL, Kemp pounded out an All-Star first half.  He led when there were no leaders and kept the Dodgers in the mix until the team sprinted to the finish line.  He was a key to 2018 but not 2019.  Puig was never the same after his meteoric first few months in the major leagues.  The Dodgers received Homer Bailey arguably the worst value in pitching.  Homer posted a 1-14 record in 2018 and is scheduled to earn $23 million in 2019.  He is off the books after that, but we do not expect to see Mr. Bailey in Dodger blue anyways. 

Bryce Harper and Manny Machado remain unsigned.  That should change in the next ten days with the Phillies in hot pursuit of Harper and the White Sox Machado.  The Yard applauds the Dodgers for not pursuing either.  We are not sure if AJ Pollock is the answer but the last thing the Dodger needed was another left-handed bat and average glove.  Harper will have an impact for some team, but the Dodgers have plenty of impact players already.  They need another starter and catcher. Machado is a punk that no one should give a multiyear contract to, but someone will.

USC stayed with their man Clay Helton.  The Yard has shared our delight in Helton’s retention.  We surmise it will be a story throughout the season if the Trojans struggle again.  The tea leaves do not look good for the Cardinal and Gold.  The Baby Blue and Gold across town is not in much better shape but we do not think we are National Championship contenders.  USC fan always thinks that.  AD Swann and Helton hired offensive wiz Kliff Kingsbury to be their new offensive coordinator.  It was a cous of sorts for the Trojans and led them to a top 20 recruiting class especially at wide receiver.  After the signees were locked in, Kingsbury bolted USC for the head coaching gig for the Arizona Cardinals.  In the aftermath of that development, that locked in recruiting class is starting to fall apart.  With a season opener against a solid Fresno State team, a visit to South Bend and UW, 2019 will be challenging season to contend for anything for Troy.

OT: The three highest paid QB’s teams did not make the playoffs. Jimmy Garoppolo is at the top of the list at $37,000,000.  He is the former backup to Tom Brady traded to SF.  Of the top ten highest paid QB’s, only Drew Brees won a playoff game this season.  Brady checks in at #11 making $22mil.  The Rams can fill in other pieces because Goff is “only” making $7.6MIL.  Brady takes lower and deferred pay so Belichick and company and fill in the other pieces.  Matt Stafford and Derek Carr’s obscene compensation affects what steps that their teams can make to the playoffs. 

Money Line: Sharp bettors say never bet against Tom Brady and the Patriots.  Upon further review, they are only 3-5 Against the Spread in their last 8 Super Bowl.  And that includes the backdoor cover against Atlanta after trailing 28-3.  So, betting against the Patriots has been 60% successful.

Go Rams!  Bring in an LA Rams title for the first time.