The email room at the Yard reviews inquiries weekly regarding the timing of the next Yard missive. It is a random circulation niche that we have carved out for our readers. At the Yard, the bar is set high and most days we do not climb up on the taller chairs until after 4:30 PM BRT. From the first key stroke to the cached infamy that is the Yard, each blog is a brisk meander. Many blogs are started and yet few are posted. At times it is unfortunate when a solid rant is mothballed. Editorial inertia is attempted with random precision. Yard clerics have worked hard to restrain our evangelical marketing team back from knighting the Dodgers as the next champion before they earned it. There were loud closed door sessions with frankincense and anger to shout down the anti-Dodger heretics living above the 805. The first calls to declare victory came after the 0-9 Friday night debacle followed by the Blue crew pounding out 21 runs to two for the Giants over the final two games of the series. The Dodgers appeared destined to dispatch the Giants with the usual prejudice. The Halloween Dreams were in their tail lights. Then the Giants kept hanging around with the better clubhouse and garlic fries. The Dodgers were battling through each series with the Giants right on their heels. The Giant’s persistence made the Dodgers play a more focused game during these past few weeks. Last year the Dodgers took off in late June and clinched without much fanfare. The Giants faded amid grumbling excuses. Those Dodgers played better in August than October and were home before Halloween. This year with the Giants never fading it came down to their last series to decide who would win the west. In the clinching game Kershaw won the MVP with his CY Young season performance. The Yard cheer the Giants on with their shellacking of the destiny drenched Pirates and hopefully a similar fate for the brash but untested Nationals. We can only hope that the Giants and Nationals go 7 while the Dodgers sweep the Cardinals. It is wistful thinking. Both West Coast teams could be sent home before next weekend. The Giants just burned their best pitcher with their two most important road games of the season this weekend. The Dodgers have the best pitcher in baseball who has been pretty average in the playoffs going Friday night. We can only hope the Dodgers can see the Giants again. There is a long ways to go and it has been a long time since the WS bunting has been hung on the rails at Chavez Ravine. But what better finish to the season than to clinch a World Series berth at AT&T Park! Halloween Dreams! While on hiatus, we finally did make our pilgrimage to Jerry’s World in Dallas to watch UCLA and UT square off under the massive big screen. The game is hard to watch live when the Big Screen at eye level sucks in every retina. The game was compelling with great story lines and a UCLA come from behind victory on the road. Rick Neuheisel recruited UCLA starting QB Brett Hundley and backup QB, Jerry Neuheisel. Hundley was one of the most sought after recruits in the country a few years back. Jerry was his son and Rick finagled him a scholarship. Neuheisel got run off before he ever saw either kid play for him. Ricky gets a lot of Yard cred for recruiting Hundley and not playing him as a freshman even with his job on the line. He saved Hundley from that woeful offensive line and rooted from the Pac-12 network when his son replaced him and led the Bruins to victory. The only thing that could have made the night more special was USC to lose on the road at Boston College. There was no way that re-anointed Trojans could lose to BC after beating Stanford at the Farm. Twenty yards rushing does not lead to many victories and it did not on that Saturday night either. We did not get on the goggles and spray champagne but there were no crushed grapes spared in the celebration. Roger Goodell went from the most beloved commissioner in all of professional sports to the most reviled in a single news cycle. The Yard has developed a few pet peeves since last we wrote. One is for a public person saying, “I own this, my mistake and we are going to get this right” more than once for the same infraction. Goodell has been apologizing for the Ray Rice incident since his first ridiculous ruling in April. He apologized then and then again when the stunning video tape was released by TMZ. Both times he got it wrong and each time his reputation dove. Rog, you want to keep NFL stories on ESPN not CNN. It is never good when the 24/7 news channels are talking about the NFL 24/7. We were all quite stunned by the video of Rice clocking his lovely wife. It was almost as chilling as the earlier video of Rice dragging Janay out of the elevator knocked out cold. Goodell is now hiring FBI people to research this case and get to the bottom while Rice is suspended indefinitely. He may want to just outsource this to TMZ. They seem to get all the inside dirt and they do it at no charge to the NFL. They got the video that Roger had never seen. We were all surprised by the video but we surmise Janay might have been the most surprised. We doubt she recalled the haymaker Rice landed in her face and the subsequent nosedive into the railing and floor of the elevator. She stood by her then fiancé and now husband when their livelihood was challenged by the NFL. It was her first time seeing what really happened. She has to be as terrified as we were of what she saw. Behind the ropes: Congratulations go out to the Clinton Family welcoming Bill and Hillary’s first grandchild. The little girl may keep Hillary from running for President with her proclaimed desire to be a grandparent. It might be more relaxing and enjoyable than the quagmire that is the Capitol. It will be a special moment when the little girl gets to go to the Smithsonian and see all of our country’s rich heritage and collective accomplishments emblazoned throughout the buildings. Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress and its placement in these hallowed halls will always be a holiday season folk tale at the Clinton’s dinner table. Bill recounting the source of the stain on the dress and his career always brings the biggest guffaws.

The 1990's Edition

Although many of you rely on the Yard to sift through the worldly events that our staff randomly chooses to sift, reminiscing about the 1990’s has been a media darling of late. UCLA football was thumping USC for eight straight. The Dodgers were only a few years removed from their last World Series title. The Giants had never won anything during their half century in San Francisco. Those were heady days for a young sport’s myopic. The Yardlets were coming growing up and asking about the world as it related to them. Bill Clinton showed the world that a twangy governor from Arkansas could rise up and become the leader of the free world. He also provided many unique parenting moments. The children of the Yard are millennials. They were rarely without a cell phone and the Internet once they were old enough to decipher a dial pad or key board. Sex is pervasive in our culture and at times not transparently. Not sure if we ever had “the talk” but the Clinton impeachment news every night on the television did much of that for us. Sex is a large, nebulous subject but when Billy Bob attempted to justify his actions of only having oral sex with that woman it was an awkward dinner bomb. It was not a dinner topic. It was on the evening news regarding our hillbilly leader and his first captured post-election transgression that was being revealed to the public nightly at 6:00 PM. Adolescence is as tough to navigate as it is to explain the subset of sex that is oral sex. We chuckled at Clinton for his creative interpretation of infidelity and reviled him for shaming the office formerly known as the leader of the free world. It still is a surprise how the former governor of Arkansas is so revered by many as an elder statesman. Obama trotted him out at both national conventions and the crowds went wild. We are certain the oral sex he enjoyed with his staff intern in the Oval office was not his first transgression or his last. Either way, Hillary knew she was off the hook for providing those services forever. Both Clintons were relieved with that outcome. Baseball players and fans got one more chance to cheer Derek Jeter in his final All-Star appearance of his storied career this past week. The Yankees have always been the hated ones in Dodger history. Going back to Brooklyn, the Bombers have beaten the Dodgers eight times in the World Series. There were two particularly ugly series in 1977-78 that forever stitched Yard sanctioned hatred for the pinstripes. Jeter has been on five championship teams but never got a chance to beat the Dodgers in the Series through no fault of his own. The Doyers have not been in the Fall Classic during Jeter’s career. When the Yankees retire his number in the coming years, that will leave only the lonely number 6, unretired in the single digits. The Yankees were the first team to put numbers on the players jerseys so that fans would buy programs with the numbers listed. It is no coincidence that in the early days Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig were numbers 3 and 4. It was also their places in the batting order. Derek always batted leadoff and wore number 2. He is an old school contrarian who is respected by fans, team mates, competitors and umpires. In the rich history of the Yankees, from Ruth to DiMaggio, Mantle and all of the other retired numbers, he is the only one to have 3,000 hits. He did it with a solo shot in July 2011 with the understated flair that is the hallmark of his career. He is humble and gracious laced in genuine ilk. Contrast him at shortstop with the supreme narcissist A-Rod playing third in their salary busting infield. Jeter is the most beloved and Rodriguez the most hated players since Barry Bones. Jeter is fortunate to not have to play with A-clod this season or ever again. In the summer of 1999, we had our first opportunity to make a pilgrimage to the house that Ruth Built. It was in those heady times when one could work for a firm named Coyote Technologies and claim to succeed. The Yankees were a championship team while Coyote was lowering the bar faster than what had been explained to us in the comp plan. The Yard and the Yankees have always reviled each other with the Yard maintaining all knowledge of this rivalry. It was subway ride to a bucket list game. The Yanks won that night which they did often from the first season Derek Jeter started at shortstop. The Yankees and Jeter won four World Series championships in Derek’s first five seasons. The Yanks would sweep the Braves in the 1999 World Series. On that summer night in August 1999, Derek Jeter showed to a pre-Yard adult who he was and all he was going to be. Jeter made a play that we had never seen in an MLB game before or since. Some long forgotten Yankee right fielder lazily caught a fly ball and causally flipped the ball on one hop into a waiting Jeter hovering near second base for the second out of the inning. It was a meaningless play with no one on base. Jeter grabbed the ball and fired it back at the right fielder. He banged his glove on his head while barking at his teammate to make a better throw. The startled outfielder made a much better throw into a demanding Jeter. We have never seen a coaching moment like that except in the Pasadena Southwest Little League. We have remembered no other impactful play with less meaning in our strident study of baseball. The Yankees won three straight titles from 1999-2001 with a 26 year old Derek Jeter leading a veteran team. He may be the last of his kind as the wolves get closer to his campfire. Not sure if the Yanks have the starting pitchers to make a run in his final campaign but it does nothing to diminish his legacy. He has more hits than Mickey and has been banging more solid Manhattan trim than the Mick ever imagined. Jeter had enough sense not to get married as the anguished Mrs. Mantle was to the Mick. Extra Innings: Dodgers and Giants this weekend in a pivotal series. It is a long season that is getting shorter each week. Giants are winning just enough to stay in first and the Dodgers are just not winning enough. Neither team looks good enough to win a championship although no MLB team does right now. It all might be about getting hot in September or who gets David Price at the trading deadline.

Fourth and Lebron

Lebron James opting out of his contract with the Heat was not a surprise. Pat Riley’s transparent press conference about Miami’s loss in the NBA Finals was a few weeks back. Yard staff could sense that James was tired of dragging Wade’s legacy along with his history. At his press conference, Riley was calling out the team not to quit just because they got knocked off. He said to all that this is not about quitting this was about coming back. With his best Tony Montana, he challenged his players to respond to getting rolled by the San Ancient Spurs. We think he was only speaking to one. Decision II will hopefully be less pretentious. Is Lebron headed back to Cleveland as the Prodigal Son returns? It will be great theater to see how Miami courts Lebron, who deserves the max salary while not disrespecting an aged Dwayne Wade. James acknowledged that he would seek the max contract and he deserves it. He has been paid well but he is still barely in the top ten of NBA salaries. He trails behind Kobe, Dirk and Amare Stoudemire among others. Lebron is 29 and he will be 30 before 2015. A max contract is for a lot of money from what Yard finance has uncovered. If Lebron gets what he deserves, Wade and Bosh have to take big pay cuts. Socialism in NBA pay only gets to the Finals four times before the big dog needs to get paid. James left $20-30 million on the table when he took his skills to South Beach. The King got the titles he needed to deserve the crown but is he done in Miami? The Heat was never Lebron’s team. The team and the City will always be Wade’s. He led the Heat to their first NBA title in 2006. It was also Riley’s first NBA title since Laker Showtime in the 80’s. Wade will always be revered. Riley sees this as his last chance for a dynasty to call his own. Magic and Dr. Jerry own the original Laker dynasty. There have been others and just like Kobe, someone still has to do the day to day grind. James carried the team while Riley and Wade prepared to race each other to the championship podium. During the regular season, King James showed up every night and willed that team to the Finals. Lebron started 77 games and played the equivalent of 30 more games during the season than Wade. D-Wade was resting his knees for the playoffs while channeling Kanye planning his wedding to Gabriel Union. Lebron was vilified for getting cramps in Game One of the Finals and missing key minutes. He outscored Wade in that game and was the leading scorer in every other game. Wade never got any heat for shooting 43% from the field while averaging 15 points per game over the five games. He was 4 out of 12 with 11 points in the season finale. The Heat got run out of the Finals and without James they would not have been there. Riley can no longer use Wade to lure James to stay on with the promise of the Big Three. Riley has to show James he can build a solid team to support the Big One and the declining two. Cleveland has had two number one picks in the past three years. Kyrie Irving is rounding into a solid point guard and just signed his max contract. He would flourish with James on his wing. Last year’s top pick Anthony Bennett is being considered a bust. He was the best freshman in a solid Mountain West Conference in 2011. He has a decent outside shot and averaged 16 and 8 as a 19 year old. He might not be a #1 pick but he will be a better player. The Cavs drafted Andrew Wiggins with the first pick this year. He could be the next Kevin Durant. Kyrie is 22, Bennett is 21 and Wiggins is 19. There will be plenty of salary cap in Ohio for the next three years. Mrs. King wants to bring the kids back home to raise them. With the King on the wing, they might be able to bring Cleveland a ring. Magic owns LA, Michael owns Chicago, Carmelo owns…nothing. Lebron it is time to lead Cleveland back into your legacy. The LA Kings bandwagon was such a nice ride and it has been hard to step off it as shallow a ride as it had been. We have since been all in on World Cup and US Soccer until the 120:00:01 mark today. We are still in for the future but that was an unnecessary speed bump when we had barely applied our safety apparel and protective head gear. Fortunately, the Dodger bandwagon is shining up a seat for us. There still seems to be some acrimony in the clubhouse and the outfield. The Dodger starting pitching is scary for any opponent and the best still seems to be warming up. The Giant hallmark pitching staff is showing their wear earlier than their age. The Giants were looking in their rear view mirror when the Dodgers passed them on the inside last night. The Giants had that 9.5 game lead on June 9th. The Dodgers had never won more than three games in a row since last season at that time. It is not easy to make up nearly ten games in the standings in 20 games played but alas they did. The Dodger burst was sneakier than last year without all of the Puig and circumstance. It is solid defense, pitching and timely hitting by a team that is well paid to do that. Long ways to go but the horses in blue seems to be rounding into form. The pumpkin colors not so much. Up Next: It has been a good run for the City by the Cabernet but the natives from Easter Island want Bruce Bochy to return their head. We are not being alarmists. Manager Bochy has more than 62% of his body above his waist and 35% of that weight is above his neck. The similarities between missing relics and Bochy’s cranium are Discovery Channel worthy. This is more of a public safety and historical issue than Yard snark. San Francisco is in an active earthquake zone. That pumpkin has teetered on his neck without straps for too long. It is unlikely it would ever be launched during his Sausage Race like trot out to the mound when yanking another starting pitcher but who wants to take that chance? The upper girth launches Bruce forward at 55 degrees with legs barely able to stabilize the G forces. It is an anomaly that Newton never pondered. It may seem like Yard bile but we challenge you to look just once through our prism. You will be unable to un-see it.

Friday Bloody Friday

The Yard wants to harpoon the Sterling’s as they try to steal the soul of the Clippers. The Dodgers are starting to play to their potential although still struggling to stay above .500. The Lakers may never find that level again. We will get back on topic soon but none of it really matters this week. Six students will never attend another class, keg party, or graduate. We can only hope their murderer will burn in hell for the young lives that were snuffed in an explosion of narcissism. Elliot, was your life that bad with your fancy cars, sunglasses and You Tube career? You want to see a difficult world just drive south on 101 and see all of the workers in the fields. They are not fretting about not getting laid, they are picking strawberries so their families can eat. You so wanted to experience sex. You should have tried to survive and the court system would have helped you achieve that dream. To say you are a loser would be giving losers a bad name. Mr. Martinez outrage at his son being killed is understandable and something no parent ever wants to experience. Guns have been part of this culture and the economy since our fight for Independence. Our forefathers wanted the second amendment to ensure there were armed militias when the British came on land. The guerilla tactics of those militias helped gain our freedom. There was very little evidence of social alienation in 1776. It was a fight for survival not acceptance. Since that time, the evolution of guns has produced arsenals capable of taking down an army let alone a Red Coat. It is too late to put the silly string back in the canister. It will never change in our lifetimes no matter how many times events like this past weekend occur. If 26 people getting killed at Sandy Hook Elementary does not lead to change, it is doubtful anything will. We do not own a gun. We are not advocates or opponents of the gun lobby for reasons just stated. The Yard would suggest that the NSA with all of their snooping computers and advanced statistical algorithms should be working on being able to predict these events. If you believe Mr. Snowden, the technology is there just pointed at the wrong enemy. We are not analysts but there are some common themes in all of these mass killings. 90% of these lunatics are 16-22 year old white males. They are social outcasts who feel society needs to be punished for their inability to integrate into the mainstream. Most of these deranged minds documented their plans well in advance in diaries, social media, on web sites and to those around them. Every one of them does not turn into a killer but it is better to know who they are and if they are armed in advance. Everyone seemed to know that Rodgers was a ticking time bomb but there was no apparent course of action. His parents sent the Sheriffs to go visit him and he made nice and they left. Is there not a national database of registered guns? He had both handguns used in the killings when the sheriff visited. Couldn’t the sheriff query that and say, the kid seemed ok but has he recently bought any handguns? Oh look, he purchased a Sig Sauer last year. What is this dweeb going to use that for besides shooting up Isla Vista? The age of consent should be 25+ years old and the purchaser should have to bring three credible witnesses to vouch for their sanity. Whoever the gun owner was who sold Elliott the weapons should have known just looking at that kid, this is not smart. Why does a nerd like that need a weapon like this if at all? We do not think he was any less creepy that day in the store than as seen on You Tube. He did have cash. This piece may be way off topic for the Yard but it hit close to home. With random violence permeating our society it is easy to keep moving along the walkway of life after a moment of silence. 153 people have been shot and killed on school campuses since 1996 with hundreds more injured some permanently. My son is senior at UCSB. Several of our friends have children attending this fine institution. Waking up on a Saturday morning to news that there has been carnage at your child’s school and you cannot reach your child, is a harrowing frozen moment. For 12 parents, they will never hear from their child again. Ours was camping with friends and out of the kill zone. Theirs were conducting routine innocuous events on a Friday night that they will never do again. As a society, we are not going to eradicate guns or psychos but we can try to come up with formulas that identify the ones that are armed and keep the rest from getting armed. Godspeed.

Viva Los Clippers!

The Yard coalesced into an all-inclusive excursion via Cancun this past week. It was a gradual filtration into a tequila fueled Mexican ambience. Relaxed nonsense was the way and the light. Tony at the Yard was a pineapple wedge away from the next Negro Modelo most days. Our thoughts were far from the last blog that went to press. It was not from lack of keystrokes. The Laker 2014 mess was written about long before Phil got dissed. Another John Calipari coached team missing free throws on the way to losing in the finals was another stored diatribe. The relevance of thought expired before we executed the post. Then Donald Sterling was recorded with his whiny ass racist rant. The Yard’s most hated target since our first syllables of Yardiot was being flayed publicly. It was a beautiful day at the Yard. Animosity festers the breathy words of contempt. God Bless you TMZ! In this turd storm, no one is coming out well. Yard contempt for this Donald is well documented. He showed his true colors a very long time ago to anyone who followed the Yard or any other major media outlet. This is a reality show more compelling than the Kardashian’s and more disturbing than Duck Dynasty. There is an 80 year old lizard, a 20+ year old rat, the NAACP, and the estranged wife all distilled to us through the spigot of TMZ. WTF! Los Angeles has never been a Clipper town since the Lizard King moved them up on the coat tails of Jerry Buss. He followed Jerry’s every move like a creepy uncle with a Polaroid camera. Los Angeles never embraced Sterling and he really never seemed to care. McCourt was as reviled and the more he cared the more we hated him. Sterling figured it was best to yell from the sidelines not in the newspapers. He gave interviews as often as he gave depositions...never. Many of both were requested, never were they granted. Apparently, the 20 year old mistress with the $1.8 million home had the best access to his soul or whatever was there as a placeholder. It seems fortuitous that these coerced Sterling sentiments hit the internet with the news of his mistress’s pending lawsuit by Mrs. Sterling. Shelly Sterling launched a preemptive strike to retain her 50% of any community property Sterling gave to another woman outside of their estranged marriage. She never expected it to jeopardize their most valuable asset-The Clippers. She chased her $2 million from Donald’s mistress. The mistress blew the $1.2 billion palace up. As outrageous as Sterling’s recorded comments were, is that surprising? In 2005, he is the primary owner of a corporation that was fined by the US government $2.7 million for directing corporate property managers not to rent to minorities and young parents. This was not a guideline, it was in the policy manual. They were also charged $5 million in legal fees to the plaintiffs. Sterling’s company vigorously fought “these baseless allegations” and then settled without admitting guilt. Apparently $7.7 million absolves a lot of sins. The Los Angeles Chapter of the NAACP gave Sterling a Lifetime Achievement award in 2009 and another was slated for next month. It is unclear to us how the Donald would deserve any award let alone an award for his body of work in the advancement of colored people. If the NAACP wants to recognize a lifetime achiever, recognize Elgin Baylor. He toiled away for a lost decade with the Lakers beginning in Minneapolis and then being the first star in Los Angeles basketball history. Jerry West and Elgin fought the Celtics often trying to bring a title to Los Angeles. Elgin retired at the moment the Lakers went on a 33 game winning streak on the way to Jerry West’s only title in 1969. Jerry built Laker championship teams as an executive. Donald Sterling bought the Clippers for $13 million dollars. He made more money than any owner every year while making improvements like a landlord under rent control. Sterling figured he might try hiring a Laker Legend to spread some pixie dust across his moribund franchise. When Sterling rarely re-signed lottery picks, Baylor was left to loyally explain why insanity was best for the team. Baylor was one of the lowest paid executives in the NBA. Sterling let Baylor twist in the marginalized air of his private convictions. Sterling needed Baylor to enhance the public persona he advertised in the Los Angeles Times three times each week. In his 22 years of service, Elgin understood who and what Sterling was and is. He sued and alleged discriminatory practices and beliefs by Sterling. His case was dismissed. NBA Commissioner David Stern sat by and let the legal system its due process during each of Sterling’s discrimination lawsuits. He never questioned or faulted Sterling while the Federal government was finding his corporation guilty of egregious crimes against minority and low income renters. The NBA was silent when Elgin brought suit and claimed that Sterling was the man we all know so well now. David Stern rewarded Sterling by voiding the Chris Paul trade to the Lakers and handing him to the Clippers. This is not bitter Laker fan, this is NBA fan wondering what the beloved Stern was thinking. Sterling is a bad guy. He is despicable and this not a revelation. Stern enabled him to finally succeed as an owner in spite of his well-documented discriminatory corporate practices. We have heard the last of Donald Sterling, we think not. We do not expect a mea culpa with Oprah or Al Sharpton on network television. The Yard legal team surmised he will pursue legal action against the NBA if he is forced to sell the team. He is not going to go quietly into the night and disappear. Sterling has acquired many assets in his fortune. He has never sold any of them. He is not going to sell the Clippers without a fight. He will never again be on the sidelines at a Clipper game in his Jabba the Hut starter suit but these are early stages of this LA tragedy. The Yard has adopted the Clippers as our new favorite team. We hate Sterling and all he stands for but this is proud solid team with a world class coach. Doc Rivers has to be in the toughest position of his career. He is being asked to coach important games while being asked questions no coach should have to answer ever. Rivers is a distinguished coach, in a major market, doing an outstanding job for man who does not want to be associated with his kind. The Yard will root the Clippers on as far as they go. We will not attend a single game but we were not going to do that anyways. We hope they rally behind our common enemy, their owner, in a fight to the finish. It is a good team and we will cheer from our sofa. Clipper season ticket holder, you are all in already. Donald has your money, go to game and root for that team. Clipper Fan, we are with you! The Donald does not need any more of your dough but this team deserves your support. Would there be no better moment in the history of sports than to have a championship team spraying champagne, holding aloft the trophy while giving this dickhead the one gun salute?