The Apple and the Corn.

The Yard party bus rolled through Manhattan, Kansas this past weekend. It was a day for camaraderie, beer, new friends, beer, brats, beer, college coeds and all of the other theme elements that make college football more important than the minutia of wins and losses. As a lifelong UCLA football fan, getting bogged down in the wins and losses is just not good for the soul or the liver. There were many memorable moments but unfortunately none of them occurred on the football field during the 4th quarter on Saturday. Sometimes you have to look for the silver lining and coach Neuheisel will. On this afternoon, most of the silver lining was framing purple.

Kansas State was not just superior on the field on Saturday. They were superior in the parking lot before, during and after the game as well. Apparently, Wildcat fans are legally required to wear purple as are their children. Out of the 51,059 fans at the game 56,192 were in purple and only 683 were in some sort of blue although some might have been Wildcat fans that were colorblind. KSU fans were passionately gracious and my Bear Wear was stared at like a Petri dish but never abused. Wearing Blue and Gold south of Jefferson in LA can be punishable with flying saliva, beer, misguided epithets, and general fear and loathing.

It did help that I was with a dozen K-State alumni at a tailgate. My entre to the hoedown was Tim, the only K-State Alumni I knew before Saturday. TD had only been back to Manhattan once since graduating in 1977 so I had been back almost as much as he had. We hit the Hen House or something before the two hour drive to the Little Apple. We loaded up with a six pack of beer and a bag of potato chips to ensure the tailgating good times would roll.

We circled up with the Wildcat Faithful at K-State II Gerling’s house for the commute. We first needed to make a pilgrimage to his Kansas City Chief’s shrine in his man cave. There were photos, autographs and memorabilia from the era of the Chiefs. Otis, Lenny, and Emmitt were defined by their first names and their exploits. I remembered all of them and will always remember, “Look at Otis, look at Otis.”

Mr. and Mrs. Corny arrived to provide the pace car for the road to Manhattan. Corny set the early pace by barking one out during our initial introduction. It would have been perfect if he had asked to pull his finger rather than shake his hand during the flatulence but we had just met. I knew I could hang with this guy. Mrs. Corny must have a pilot’s license to go with her KS driver’s license because we condensed the two hour drive into about 90 minutes while following their Wildcat logoed Yukon.

Fortunately, our tailgate hosts were better prepared than TD and me. We had just met Randy and Kitty when Randy said we could have some of his beers. Tim and I polished off our six pack two hours before kickoff so we appreciated and required his generosity. “Some” seemed like it would be more than one but not sure Randy knew it was another 12-pack. It was a loaves and fishes experience for Tim and me.

Tim went all in and got us General Admission tickets that did not include an actual seat just the hope of one. Always be suspicious of football tickets without pictures on them. These tickets looked like Tim made them at home but we got in anyways although we had to fight off a couple of old ladies for the handicap seats. The greatest thing about the game was that K-State is gracious enough to re-scan your ticket on your way out at halftime. So your ticket gets reloaded, so that we could as well. We returned to the Wildcat logoed world that the Corny’s had erected behind their Yukon to relax in the glow of the Bruin’s 10-7 lead. I graciously accepted all compliments for the modest performance of my alma mater.

Wildcat nation is as fair weather as the Bruins and few were going back for the second half. The Rose Bowl has no such reloading policy. Bruin fans are forced to face the second half without the necessary emollients. Corny had thrown in the towel with the insurmountable three point deficit that KSU faced against the potent Bruin attack. I could have shared some recent history with him to dispute that notion but he offered me his 35 yard line recharged tickets. It was a nice upgrade at no cost to me plus two more of Randy’s beers. I lauded the Cornster on his prudent decision as I scooped the tickets up off his 48 quart Wildcat cooler. Suddenly, another woman aggressively jumped in and offered me her 50 yard line seats that were in the shade. I already had Randy’s two beers in hand with a beer to be named later so I went with that deal. Corny was none too happy at the slight but a 24 point Wildcat second half painted with Crown Royal in the parking lot can be a forgiving half for any fan. It was a long walk back to Cornyville after the game.

UCLA needs to be scheduling teams with three words in their name that begin with North and end with State to open the season. Fill in any state or city in the middle and it should be a W unless you are KU and you lose to North Dakota State 6-3. Editor’s note: Would not have paid attention to that score except the Jayhawks are to the Wildcats as the Giants are to the Yard. It was a blessed day in the Wildcat Heartland.

Coach Rick, it is never a good thing to be driving the team bus down Bill Snyder highway to play your season opener at The Bill Snyder Family Stadium when Bill Snyder is still coaching there. When the Bruins came through the tunnel, there are ninety-seven year old Bill Snyder and his purple nation lying in wait. Coach Snyder might look 97 but he out coached young Ricky Saturday. The Snyder Family Stadium is one of the toughest stadiums to play in the Big 12. KSU has won 43% of the 1,115 football games that have been played in school history dating back to 1896. Coaching legend Bill Snyder has won 147 of the 229 games that he has coached as part of that history. You do the math on where K-State would be without his coaching largess.

UCLA is a work in progress as they have been for most of this century. The Yard tour bus is going to Austin next at the end of the month. Jo at the Yard and I will be flying without the safety net that Wildcat nation provided this past weekend. I might need to get Jo a UT shirt or something so we can go undercover. The Longhorns are far less forgiving than the “Manhappening” Wildcats. The Bruins could be 0-3 by then with their rugged opening schedule. Stanford and Houston are coming into the Rose Bowl in the next two weekends and when is the basketball home opener again?

The high note of the weekend was not being at home on Saturday night and watching Johnny Broxton give up another game winning home run to the Giants. Broxton is done as a Dodger. He has lost whatever it was he had at some point in his career. Matt Stairs took most of it in the 2008 NLCS but the Broxton mystique has left the Ravine. He has joined the ranks of Terry Forster and Tom Niedenfuer as another fat hillbilly Dodger closer who had moments to shine before he became moonshine and got lit up.

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.
- Elbert Hubbard