Karma and Commas

There is no such thing as bad publicity…really? Between the McCourt Family and the Woods family, local royalty is testing this axiom. The McCourt’s were interlopers from the east. They are an acquired taste much like smelt eggs. Tiger Woods was our local prodigy who grew up before our eyes. He played his first PGA event at Riviera and had his first extramarital affair in the OC. Both families have taken a public TMZ style unraveling of unmanageable publicity. Both divorces are inevitable. These legal proceedings will be historic in grandeur and in commas.

It appears Frank McCourt did a bit more planning than El Tigre. According to his assertions, Jamie stepped out on the marriage while attending the Maccabiah games in Israel with Dodger Team driver, Jeff Fuller. Driver Fuller then represented the Dodgers on a junket to Taiwan last week. The Yard thought the Dodger pilates instructor was a better catch for the J-Dog.

Frank had already fired Dodger Team President Jamie. Frank claims that he can not afford to provide Jamie the $448,000 per month that she needs to keep her boat afloat. Research is underway but it is our understanding that being the president of the Dodgers would not sustain a $448,000/month lifestyle anyways. Tiger would give Elin $448,000/month effective immediately.

Elin Woods did not sign up for the Tiger Woods Cocktail Waitress Open. Apparently, she was unaware that this tour event was in the mix. She will be well paid for her ignorant tolerance. We do not believe all of these women are legit but even with the Calloway scoring system, Tiger has covered the over in the infidelity pool. Rumors are that Tiger will attempt a comeback playing left field in the White Sox organization prior to the 2011 Masters.

There is no better college football conference in America than the Pacific Ten. The SEC might have more BCS champions but they have never produced a good cabernet or a renowned nuclear physicist. The Pac-10 will win more than they lose over the next three weeks. During this time, Stanford and UCLA will begin classes. Alabama University will close down the school from January 6-8 in proper recognition of the school’s first trip to the BCS Championship game. The BCS money that Oregon brings to the conference this year will fund the athletic departments as well as academia. The SEC BCS riches will never be wasted on math or science.

Stanford senior Toby Gerhart should have won the Heisman trophy. Gerhart rushed for 1,726 yards while scoring 26 touchdowns. Gerhart accrued 22 hours of Stanford course credit while keeping up with his job on Saturday afternoon. Alabama’s Mark Ingram won the award with his 1,542 yards rushing/15 touchdowns and course credit towards his ceramics major.

Gerhart is the epitome of what the Heisman trophy stands for. Mark Ingram is what it has become. Ingram had a fine year and is a noble recipient. He will leave school early, never graduate and play 4.6 years in the NFL. Gerhart will graduate with his class and will play in the NFL because he wants to not because he has to.

The USC athletic scandal continues to evolve. The NCAA does not want to kill the only golden goose of western American college football revenue. With no other football power west of Austin, the NCAA can not have USC on probation even as the alleged infractions grow in dimension.