The Red Sox Issue

This is the Red Sox Issue. I am just having some fun with this. I am working on a blog, http://tonyattheyard.blogspot.com/. But it is just for fun not profit unless Google tells me that I can earn .000732 cents per view. Then I am selling all your names off to the highest bidder, quitting the 7-11 gig and moving to Montana with all the other bloggers. I welcome your comments and feel free to circulate this widely. If you want to unsubscribe, write to my attention P.O. Box 41-677 LA 90041, be specific and include $2 for shipping and handling.

It was a rough week for Duane “Dog” Chapman. It really blows when your son sells a tape of you on the phone using the “N” word to those bastards at the Enquirer. The public outing by your mutant spawn gets you suspended from your TV show. Oh really A&E, you hire a redneck hillbilly who dresses like the white Mr. T, who you film invading foreign nations to bring back cosmetic heir serial rapists bail jumpers and you are now outraged to hear that he dropped an N-bomb? Hell, he broke seven international laws, spent two weeks in a Mexican prison and those were just the crimes you got on film! I do not condone that language but A&E do you draw the line there? Now, Mr. Chapman swears he is a Christian and not a racist. And now the racists and the Christians are both outraged for completely different reasons. Does it not seem like Rome circa 476 AD in this country?

When the Democrats were hammering Mukasey about his opinion on “water-boarding”, I thought easy on the retired federal judge. Water-boarding sounded like something fun with scantily clad women, hooting and hollering, kegs of beer and classic rock. I guess I was wrong on that one.

The Red Sox win 7 in a row after falling behind 3-1 to the Indians. Rockies needed to keep playing. Taking eight days off after winning 27 in a row was NOT a much needed rest.

I want to hang with Manny. Manran is one loopy dude. You just know he is thinking about Sponge Bob Square Pants or Count Chocula right before he connects with a 98 mph slider and sends a Pershing II into the upper deck. I bet he has a fun house with a well stocked fridge.

Red Sox majority owner, John Henry, is creepy. I would not want to hang with him. He has that pasty, Lurch look and you know he never played baseball. He had security keeping the players away from him during the clubhouse celebration. I would think the owner would want to get doused in champagne and enjoy the event. It looked like they put the players in a plastic aquarium so they could observe their behavior during a celebration. I am thinking a guy who is wearing $350 leather gloves during the event, can afford to replace them. Loved the blue goggles on the players. To the victors, go the spoils.

Does it seem every time a player is the MVP of the Super Bowl or the World Series, they are in the last year of a contract? The questions are always, “Mike, amazing series, have you given any thought to where you are going to play next year?”

The Red Sox had best pass on A-Rod and re-sign Lowell to whatever he wants and it is not $350 million. Lowell probably signs for about 10% of that number. He batted .324 with 21 bombs, 120 RBI’s and had zero photo-ops with strippers in Toronto.

A-Clod will never be happy in the Chowder Bowl and they will hate him after he bounces into his second one-out double play with the bases jacked. I hope he comes to LA. We are very Diva-ready here. Our cherished Dodgers have won one playoff game in the last 20 years so the bar is set real low. We rarely boo the hometown stud. We come late, leave early, and talk on our cell phones throughout the game. LA is a wonderful sports town, just ask the Ram and the Raiders. And Mrs. A-Clod is almost as big a load as Victoria Beckham so that will be a great cat fight in the pages of US and Star.

J.D. Drew, do you get your soul back from the devil after you retire? Boston is less forgiving than LA and we hated you. Fenway’s legions crucified your passive, malingerer BS until you delivered that grand slam against the Tribe. Now you will be forever memorialized in Boston folklore! I did not see that one coming but Billy Buckner is pleased. His personal highlight reel from the 1986 series just might not be played before every Red Sox Playoff game.

And in the end, the second highest paid team finally took down the #23 and #25 salaried teams. The Red Sox’s payroll is $20 million more than the Rockies and Indians combined payrolls. The Sox did not pay Slingblade Drew $15 million to hit 11 regular season HR’s. They bought that epic grand slam against the Indians. They did not pay Curt Schilling $13 million to win 9 regular season games. He was paid to be there in October to win 3 crucial play-off games. Spending all that money to win it all only makes sense when you factor in Bostenomics. They will get the money back in baseball cap sales by Christmas time. Ever see anyone around town with a Rockie cap?

Last thought: Native Americans apparently are outraged by the rather jovial, smiling Indian face on the Cleveland Indian’s uniform. They find that characterization of a Native America demeaning. At the same time, said people are ok with the Washington Redskin’s rather noble characterization of an Indian Chief on their uniform. Maybe it is just me, but which team name do you find more demeaning, Indians or Redskins?

Tony at the yard