Fall from the Yard

International Day of the Girl was October 11.  The Yard has been surrounded by amazing girls since birth.  With four sisters and three girl first cousins, I was blessed with the International Day of the Girl almost daily since 1963. The American white, heterosexual reign has been crumbling for years.  Many would argue rightfully so after years of exclusion and subjugation of everyone else by this questionably fraternal organization.  The Yard chose not to major in Sociology or Anthropology, so our opinions are as usual just opinions.  We could have studied the evolution of man from Cro-Magnon man to the fully, evolved cretin. Until the girls stood up and said “enough” the entitled only knew entitlement. Most of us do not have this false sense that goes viral when unchecked. The stereotype can stick to all of us like the syrup tray at IHOP. 

The Yard only hopes that our last bastion of male domination is preserved- the classic Boy Band.  NSYNC, Duran, Duran and the Back-Street Boys are still going strong.  Girl bands not so much.  It is probably that there are many more young girls willing to scream at their concerts and they are still screaming today as adults. Diffident teenage boys wishing they were anywhere else but a concert with their parents is not a long market play.  Even the Seahawks were rocking NSYNC for a TD celebration.

When the Yard launched in 2007, it was different time and space.  It was just a lark this Yard.  Who knew it would turn into 150 postings of inconsequential meanderings couched within unknown proportions?  Our legal team has been closely following the late John Steinbeck estate’s battling heirs.  The Pulitzer prize winner did not give much thought to copyright and did not call it out specifically in his will.  At the time of his death in 1968, his estate was worth $1 million, a decent sum in those days.  The original heirs have been dead for decades but the battles rage on over movie rights, digital rights and the rest of things no one thought of in the 50’s and 60’s  It would seem that after nearly 60 years the original $1 million estate might have evaporated?   The Yard legal team is taking a close look at our trove of basement tapes, bootleg recordings and other missives to ensure we protect not just the future of the Yard for our progeny but other stuff as well.

As Joe Kelly stared at the dirt before his feet on the mound and Howie Kendrick watched his game winning grand salami clear Cody Bellinger and the outfield wall, the Yard felt relief.  It has been three years of pressure packed post seasons for the Dodgers and their fans.  We cannot imagine the pressure the players feel but it has been unpalpable from the Yard sofas.  Grinding through seven playoff series over the past three years, the Dodgers went 4-3.  The four series wins are hardly remembered.   The three series losses are burned into our history forever. It was an amazing run without a title.  The Dodgers faced the Amazing Astros in 2017 and the 106-win Red Sox team in 2018.  The Dodgers were not the favorites in either WS. Giant fan is proud of their recent titles and we hear of them often.  A bit dusty but relevant.  The Giants beat the Rangers, Tigers and the Royals. Flash forward to 2019 and these are three of the worst teams in the MLB. Collectively, 61 games under .500.  One might argue the Giants suck also and we are not opposed to that sentiment.  But you can’t take away their three titles unless maybe we can snag #metoo one for the Giant VP with the viral video pushing his wife at the zoo.  Fortuitously, the Giants got the cream of American League Crap during their reign.  The AL is back with Yankees, Red Sox and Astros probably better than any team in the NL possibly for years to come.  We will root for the Nat’s even with their game five rout of the Dodgers.

Although the Dodgers won 106 games this year, there were troubling signs throughout the season that would give this fan pause in the playoffs.  Kenley Jansen had 33 saves, but he finished with a 3.71 ERA and gave up 9 home runs in 63 innings.  Watching Kenley come in with a one run lead in the 9^th in the World Series would be intestine twisting. Creaky Rich Hill going three innings in Game 4 was a “really?” moment for a team with these resources.

Clayton Kershaw’s post season woes were on full display with his 8^th inning three pitch two homerun blow up the season moment.  Dave Roberts bringing Kershaw into the game as a reliever was evidence of the insanity that permeates Roberts psyche during the playoffs.  Kershaw has a nearly 6.00 ERA in deciding playoff games. His playoff ERA is 2.00 higher than his regular season.  And if the game is on the line, it jumps two more runs. He has only given up back to back homeruns on consecutive pitches twice in his HOF career.  Both times in the playoffs. He is not your go-to pitcher to win a playoff game, Dave!  It is not a secret that the Yard has Dodger Blue phantasm.  We do not think there is another team in the MLB that would not trade their starting lineup for the Dodgers projected starters in 2020 except maybe the Yankees and the Astros.

We are starting to feel like the Dodgers are Atlanta Braves of the 1990’s.  Those powerhouse teams won the NL East eleven straight seasons.  They made it to the WS five times during that stretch and won one title over the Cleveland Indians in 1995.  John Smoltz, Chipper Jones, Greg Maddux and Manager Bobby Cox are all in the HOF from those teams.  We hope that Dave Roberts is not going to be our Bobby Cox.  Bobby did lose his first two trips to the WS in 1992-93.  The Braves came back in 1995 to win their sole title of the era.  They went twice more but could not get past those Yankees teams of the era.  We can hope to win 11 straight titles but sprinkle in a few more WS titles before the dirt nap.

In the clubhouse: The best pitching performance that we watched in the playoffs so far was by Max Scherzer of the Nat’s in his game 4 gem over the Dodgers in our nation’s capital.  33-year old Max outdueled the Dodger young gun lefty lineup.  He gave up 4 hits and 1 run in his seven innings.  It was raining off and on throughout the game.  There was Mad Max grunting and heaving the rock over the dish with rain dripping off his bill.  Fist pumping each third strike and taking some rips at the plate.  The National are doing all this without Superman Harper who darted to the 81-81 Phillies so he could watch from home in LV with his new-born.

OT: The hypocrisy of Lebron regarding the NBA tweet skirmish with The People’s Republic of China is surprising.  The King is quick to highlight the perceived abuse of others as when he called the NFL owners essentially slave owners.  He called out the NCAA about not letting their players get paid.  But when it came to that one tweet from the Rockets in support of Hong Kong, Lebron had to call the NBA out on that.  “How can someone make a tweet so insensitive that it costs people millions if not billions?” Bron queried his nation. Lebron felt it would cost Lebron money that is why.  With the Lebron XVII shoe, coming to your store straight from the factory in China, he had to say something. He was probably worried about the workers not his lifetime contract with Nike.

Grace of God:  Thank you everyone for thoughts and prayers for our Jo.  She is 100% recovered and gorgeous as ever.  The humor left the building for about a month, but she has brought the joy back to my life as she always has.  God Bless!

Hail the US Women!

The US Women’s Soccer team has achieved unparalleled greatness in the 2019 World Cup.  Since the first FIFA Women’s World Cup in 1991, US Women have won 4 titles including the last two.  The Women’s National Team will have played in the finals in half of the eight Women’s World Cups. They have never finished lower than 3^rd in the WC. They have displayed athleticism, passion and excellence on the field.  Their success has built the gold standard brand of a US woman soccer player.  The Yard was heavily invested in the 1999 Championship by the US Women. The championship game was at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. The original Yard HQ was in the flight path for the fly over on Championship Sunday.  We were almost at the game as we watched on TV and the jets buzzed our tower.  Mia Hamm, Julie Foudy, Brandi Chastain and the rest of the 1999 World Cup Champion tipped the paradigm for Women’s soccer.  They beat the Chinese on a 5-4 shootout.  The final kick has been replayed billions of times and it always ends up with Brandi Chastain at mid-field in her black sports bra.  That moment witnessed around the world set the stage for this next generation of female warriors now dominating at the highest level.  It has been a decade of unprecedented success.  Besides the WC Championships, the WNT has won four Olympic Gold Medals.  There is no better role model than the women on this team.  And thank goodness they ran Hope Solo off.  What a load.

For the 2019 WWC, the television ratings have been over the top in more ways than one.  Nearly 8 million people watched the UK-US match on Friday in the US.  11 Million watched in the UK.   Millions more have been following via streaming services on mobile devices. Raucous US crowds have been ever present at matches all over France. USW jerseys are flying off the shelves like Durant’s Nets jersey.   The US Men missed the last Men’s World Cup because they could not earn a tie with Trinidad and/or Tobago in 2017.  The US Men’s Soccer Team is making trying to defend their CONCACAF Gold Cup title.  It is a quaint inter-regional affair where the US and Mexico invite Central America and the Caribbean to provide foils before the they meet in the finals. The US Men will play Mexico for the CONCACAF Gold Cup tonight.  Check Google to see who won. The World Champion US Women will probably be partying on the Champ Elysees and might miss that one.

Pay inequality between men and women in the same profession has been a lightning bolt across corporate America.  Pay and financial discrimination between the traditional genders has been called out across many industries but apparently difficult to prove.  There are many subjective criteria that lawyers raise to protect the entitled against the less titled. The US Women’s National Soccer team has agreed to arbitration in their lawsuit against the US Soccer Federation USSF.  The USSF claims that, “the players on the Men’s and Women’s Soccer team receive fundamentally different pay structures for performing different work under their separate bargaining agreements.”  The Yard has always espoused our limited understanding of soccer nuances, but the game seems the same, right?  Different genders but same size field, size of the goal, duration, red and yellow cards, did I miss something?

The pay discrepancy between the men and women on the US National teams is dramatic.  The women’s average salary is $30,000 less than the men.  In addition, the women’s potential bonus per game is $15K, the men’s is $55k.  The bonus pool for the 2014 USMNT who went 1-2-1 and lost in the first game in knockout round was $5.4 million.  The USWNT won the 2014 World Cup championship and earned a total bonus pool of $1.5 million.  The Women’s game generates more viewers, more jersey sales and far superior results to the men but they are paid unspeakably less.  This team of Megan Rapinoe, Alex Morgan and Rose Lavelle are the next generation of dominant female athletes challenging for another World Cup.  They are memorable, iconic and winners.  Name one legendary US male player other than Landon Donovan. Show them the money!

Megan Rapinoe got in President Trump’s Twitter cross hairs when a quote attributed to her circulated last week.  She said to a magazine several months back that she would not be going to the F-ing White House if they won the World Cup.  Trump fired off that “Rapinoe should win first before she TALKS! Finish the job!” Rapinoe doubled down on not going to the White House but apologized for the obscenity. Then with all of France cheering their favorite women’s team and Trump waiting on his Twitter trigger finger, Rapinoe scored both goals in the 2-1 quarterfinal victory over the French.  She came back from a hamstring injury to score the deciding goal today for the championship.  She won the Golden Boot for the World Cup.  She had a pretty good week.  Rapinoe finished the job and she won’t be going to the White House.

The 4^th of July coming on a Thursday this week made for lots of bingeing Stranger Things, Wimbledon and Women’s Soccer.  There were the usual libations, fireworks and all things BBQ.  The Yard covered two out of the three with the fireworks on the tele.  President Trump also brought some fireworks to the National Mall with a display of military might.  The Donald brought out the military toys at his disposal including tanks, armored personnel carriers and multiple flyovers.  It was brought under Democratic scrutiny based on the $2.5 million cost to stage and Trump hijacking the celebration of our independence for political gain.  The Yard tries to steer clear of today’s politico except to poke fun at the absurdity of it all.  Trump NOT hijacking an event for political gain would be more newsworthy.  If the cost was $2.5 million, not sure why anyone is bitching about that given the money we piss away all over the dais. Also, Donald had to show Vladdie and the Kimster, that he has some cool toys under his command also.  Big military displays are not just for despots anymore!  He does not get to oversee it with their tyrannical power but not for lack of hope.

Laker nation had something to cheer about after Rob Pelinka finally got the deal done to bring Anthony Davis to Staples.  Pairing this young superstar with the aging Lebron James, will hopefully put the Lakers back in the title discussion.  It had been the season of the witch prior to that for the Lake show.  They are not the Knicks, but they were heading that direction.  That trade changed the trajectory and the resulting story lines. Yard is hoping a playoff berth in the top half of the draw for starters.  The Lakers have not been in the playoffs since 2012-13 season when they are swept in the first round by San Antonio.   There has never been a playoff drought this long in the franchise storied history.  Unfortunately, the Lakers had to trade most of their 2018-19 roster to secure the rights to AD.  The team does need some 2^nd tier quality players to contend and there does not appear to be enough money or incentive to join Lebron, AD and company.

Kawhi let the Lakers twist in the wind while he instructed the Clippers to get a Robin for his planned Batman role.  Kawhi bought the Clippers some time to pull off the Paul George trade and they did.  Who is in the center of taking the Clipper’s legacy of irrelevance and flipping them to NBA title favorites in a 24-hour period?  The Logo-Jerry West.  West has been the nomadic genius who built the LA Laker dynasty, turned Memphis into a contender and showed the Warriors the way to repeated championships.  He gutted the entire Laker roster to lure Shaq out of Orlando in 1996.  That same year, he saw something in a 17-year-old named Kobe Bryant and traded up to get him.  Kobe with Shaq and then Gasol would win five titles in a ten-year span.  He foresaw the Buss children’s dysfunction and headed to the exit to let Mitch Kupchak go down with the ship.  Job well done.

It was shocking to see the defending World Champion Warriors lose to the Raptors in the NBA Finals.  They were prohibitive favorites at the beginning with the expectation of Durant returning to lead them to the title.  KD did come back for part of their needed Game 5 win in Toronto but tore his Achilles while playing 12 minutes and scoring 11 important points.  The Warriors could not overcome the loss of Klay Thompson to an ACL later in that same game.  Not only did they lose the title, they lost two starters to serious injury.  It might be the end of the dynasty or the beginning of the next one but 2019 would appear to be a transitional year for Golden State with Thompson out.  The Yard usually slams all things Nor CA, but we have huge props to Steph Curry in defeat.  He was gracious, candid and sincere in his post-game comments.  ABC was rolling tape as he walked off after losing Game 6 and the Series at home.  He is stoically walking down the tunnel when he sees Bill Russell in a wheelchair.  He snaps out of his funk and goes over to give the namesake of the NBA Final MVP some love.  True champion.  Warriors will be back, but Bob Myers is going to need to figure out on his own.  Jerry West is probably at his last stop on the tour.

19^th Hole:  It was truly amazing to see Tiger rally and win the Masters this year.  Tiger is the best front runner in golf history.   He has only lost one time on the tour when he has had a lead after 54 holes.  On the flip side, he has never won a major when trailing after 54 holes before this years Masters.  Of his previous 14 Major Titles, Tiger was in the final pairing.  He could obliterate the inexperienced with his physical game and mental toughness.  When those traits were eroded through ego, infidelity, and back spasms, it appeared Woods would never recover.  But this year he did, and the sports world welcomed him back with open arms as did the television ratings and sponsors.  And not to be outdone, President Trump jumped into the moment and gave Tiger the Presidential Medal of Freedom.  We should embrace this moment.  Tiger may not pass this way again.  The Masters is the only major that is played on the same course every year.  Augusta National might add a tree or a bush but they do not trick up the course like the PGA tour does for the US Open and the PGA.  The British Open has 150 years of legend and the weather to crush a man’s spirit.  Tiger has played Augusta many, many times.  He has been in the lead on a Masters Sunday four previous times.  He knows the course and it showed as they played the back nine. Molinari slipped while Tiger stayed the course.  We loved it and we hope he wins another.

Signs of the Apocalypse: “I invite each of you to sit down in front of your television set when your station goes on the air and stay there, for a day, without a book, without a magazine, without a newspaper, without a profit and loss sheet or a rating book to distract you. Keep your eyes glued to that set until the station signs off. I can assure you that what you will observe is a vast wasteland.” FCC Chairman Newton Minow May 9, 1961.

Redeeming Madness

The Yard has often effused that the NCAA Men’s basketball championship is the greatest event in all of sports each year.  This season has done nothing to dispel that notion.  The Yard knows that there is a Women’s championship as well.  But ladies, you are kicking our male asses all over the place, maybe you can let us hang onto The Madness!  Zion could not save the Blue Devils which their championship had been forecast in the Dead Sea Scrolls.  It is strange to have one named Zion leading a Devil of any color.  The Virginia Cavaliers have gone from being the biggest upset in tournament history to winning the championship in 388 days.  It is the most remarkable story in recent March Madness lore.  Tony Bennett is a class act.  He and his team owned their loss to the 64^th ranked team in the tournament in 2018.  They went straight back to what they had been doing and won the whole thing this year.  Yard enthusiasm for the Cavs victory is because of their story and we picked them to win in the Yard pool.  Texas Tech and Chris Beard are a great story as well, but the Cavs are the champs.

In 2016, UNLV thought they had found a new head coach in this same Chris Beard.  Beard coached Arkansas Little Rock to a 30-5 record and an NCAA bid in his only season there.  He got a lot of attention and the Running Rebels were looking for a new coach and they hired Beard.  In another time and space, UNLV had hired Rollie Massimino to replace Hall of Famer Jerry Tarkanian.  Rollie had won an improbable NCAA title with Villanova and was thought to be the answer but there were many questions.  Unbeknown to the University Regents, Massimino had cut a side deal with the athletic department in addition to his main contract.  He essentially was getting paid an extra $375K per year that was “off the books” in addition to the $500K the Nevada Regents had agreed to pay him.  No one was the wiser until Rollie got canned and demanded the side deal be included in his severance package.  The ensuing feces fest lead to new requirements for Nevada Collegiate sports contracts.  The new vetting process extended and delayed the final contract that Beard was to sign to coach UNLV.  Texas Tech had fired Patrick Knight and swooped into the contractual purgatory and snatched up Beard before he coached even a single game.  The Yard is not sure Beard could have had the success if he had been stayed but it cannot get much worse for UNLV. UNLV still considers him a former coach.  Myopia is not just a Yard thing.

The Yard’s earliest narratives were to trash the San Francisco Giants and the USC Trojans with myopic prejudice.  There have been other targets of our praise and our disdain, but the Giants and the Trojans were our villains that drove our earliest key strokes of disdain.  Now traditional media outlets have usurped us because there is just too much shocking material blasting at the foundations of these two institutions. The Yard is left with mere table scraps of vitriol.  Giant President and CEO Larry Baer has been suspended for a viral video of a physical alteration with his wife.  The Giants have a first-place payroll and a last place record. As far as USC goes, just google “USC Scandals” and make sure your anti-virus software is up to date.  Larry Baer should weather his storm, do a mea culpa with Oprah and be back at the helm by the All-Star break.  USC alumni are not sure when their reign of terror is going to end.  No academic institution was more villainous than USC in the recent admissions scandal.  Dr. Dre stepped up and let everyone know his daughter got into USC without any bribes.  The rapper turned billionaire did donate $70 million to USC.  We are sure that did not have any influence on his daughter becoming a Trojan, right?  He should have just said he got her in the old-fashioned way.

Robert Kraft apologized for the shame he brought the NFL and his family for the events at the Orchid Day spa in Jupiter, Florida.  His attorneys then went on to plead not guilty and demand a jury trial.  The two sequences seem contradictory.  To apologize for something that you are legally contending did not happen is strange at best.  Kraft’s attorneys are fighting the legality of the video tapes of his activities inside the spa on those two fateful days. There certainly are some sketchy court orders that allowed the FBI to bum rush the spa and install cameras without their knowledge or Kraft’s.  Who knows how many times he had been there before that fateful weekend?  No one is denying Kraft was at the spa, they are contesting what happened in the spa.  A billionaire at a seedy day spa in a strip mall, what do you think was going on for the 30 minutes Bobby was there on Saturday and Sunday?  If the tapes are admitted, it is going to be like the Marv Albert trial a few decades back.  Marv vehemently denied that he had bit a woman while in the throws of passion.  Then she testified in open court about Marv wearing women’s clothes and singing show tunes before he bit her.  Marv ended the trial right then and took a plea.  If the video tapes are allowed, and we hope they are, Mr. Kraft will be on Oprah as well.

Ernie Grunfeld was fired by the Washington Wizards last week.  He had been the general manager of this moribund franchise for 16 years.  Owner Ted Leonsis said, “We did not meet our stated goals of qualifying for the playoffs this season and, despite playing with injuries to several key players, we have a culture of accountability and a responsibility of managing to positive outcomes”. Granted Leonsis inherited Grunfeld when he acquired the team, but Ernie has been one of the more inept President of Basketball Operations in the NBA for over a decade.  We are not sure when the whole accountability thing started in Washington, but it should have been before they signed John Wall to that ridiculous contract.  Grunfeld is the guy who gave Gilbert Arenas life.  And he is a doppelganger for Ron Jeremy to boot.

Magic Johnson stepping down from the Lakers needed to happen sooner rather than later.  The Yard is thrilled he realized his full hearted, half assed efforts to turn around the Lakers was an abject failure. Rob Pelinka should be next to the curb.  Luke Walton is the least of this dysfunctional franchise’s problems.  DeAngelo Russell is thriving in Brooklyn.  Julius Randle put up big numbers with NOLA this year.  They are the pieces that could have worked with King James this year, but they were dispatched to wait for this summer’s free agents.  Magic knows it is not going to be pretty and whatever he promised James when he lured him, he no longer wants to face. Magic has a multitude of business interests including the Dodgers.  He has projects all over the US and he is involved with the Lakers because…?  Jeannie needed a familiar shoulder to lean on when she was throwing her brother out the door.  No one does not like Magic including Lebron, but he was more ceremonial rather than the operational requirements the job demands.  Ernie Grunfeld may have failed in Washington but at least he was 100% committed to that failure.  Johnson is about 20% committed to a Laker team that has become second fiddle to the Clippers in LA.

Overtime: The DNA testing revolution that is happening is interesting and terrifying.  In dystopian novels, subjugated humans are forced to provide their genetic data to control them.  In 2019, people are paying to give up this information to unknown data sources.  Cold cases being solved is being heralded as a benefit of this unprecedented disclosure of personal data.  We are not certain on how we feel about it and we are double helix curious for sure.  The Yard is no fan of the Kardashians and keeping up.  But we would watch the episode where the girls, mom and any of the other unsavory characters take the test and share the results on television.  It will be the highest rated episode in their history.  Kris, set it up.  Your ratings are down and there are only so many men your daughters can bang into the show.

Double Overtime:  NBA players, stay away from the Kardashians.  Your marriage could end in 31 days, you will still want to cheat on them, and you could end up in coma in a whorehouse in Pahrump.  Consider this a PSA and it will keep you off Oprah.