Charlatans and Huckleberrys

The sports fervor that is the foundation of the Yard’s publishing empire began with the Los Angeles Times Sports section in the mid-1960’s.  I devoured this legendary sports section every morning.  Jim Murray’s column was where the Yard witnessed literary genius at its pinnacle.  Forget Whitman and Hemmingway, Murray knew how to craft a story. Each morning, with the paper splayed out underneath my bowl of cereal, the sports result of the previous day was reviewed in granular detail.  Every box score was analyzed, and the daily standings absorbed.  Daddio would have to read national and local news before I would release this hallowed Section C for his morning constitution.  Those Dodger and Laker teams from the late 60’s were always in the national discussion and the LA Times was our fan portal. The Rams were the disappointment that they would be for the entirety of Yard youth.  The Kings were just the other tenant at the Lakers home court.

 

The sports section was beloved.  It was a sad day recently, when the Los Angeles Times announced that the Sports department would be cut back significantly.  The paper decided that it did not need to publish the scores and results of the day, each day.  There was a new cost-cutting directive to write interesting stories about sports and athletes but not the events that make them interesting.  Sure, this information is available on any number of sports apps.  Every time something happens Yahoo Sports, Bleacher Report, MLB, my son, and my nephew notify me.  The morning Sports was my ultimate morning app. The Sports page would open to two feet by three feet without twinkling ads competing for my eyeball.  There was never a risk that if I touched the wrong part of the paper I was going to whisked away to an unneeded ad. The page would be completely static except for the transfer of the ink to my hands and my mother’s walls.  It was the golden age of the sports page and The Yard origin story.

 

Steve Cohen was vetted by baseball owners during his quest to acquire the Mets.  He pledged that he would not blow up the Mets payroll.  Cohen is usually truth adjacent in his dealings.  The SEC does not fine your firm $1.6 billion and put two of your top advisers in prison if you are on the up and up. The SEC could not nail Cohen, so Cohen let his men go down.  He bought a new toy MLB team with his ill-gotten billions.  The Dodgers dodged his bullet when he tried to buy the team. He waited a full year before going rogue in free agency and giving huge salaries to aging pitchers among others.  The Mets payroll inflated to nearly $250 million for the 2023 season.  After 102 games with the Metropolitans twenty games out and failing, the payroll evacuation started.  The Mets were flushing payroll faster than Jeremy’s bowels after he ate a bad shrimp.  The Mets signed Justin Verlander to a stupid contract that the Astro’s would not match.  Cohen ate $35 million of that contract and then traded him back to the Astros.  The Astros got Verlander and Kate on the cheap thanks to little Stevie.  Cohen, the charlatan, runs the Mets like a hobby.  He kept his thirty pieces of gold but made a Faustian bargain for his soul.

 

The Padres ousted the Dodgers from the playoffs last year in a four-game sweep.  San Diegans everywhere cheered their moribund franchise’s slaying of the Dodgers.  The Padres went down to the Phillies but vowed they were the new sheriff in town.  Friar management continued to shower money and make trades to bolster this perception.  With the PED shamed Tatis reinstated, the Padres had a championship planned and the payroll to go with it.  The new sheriff in town has mutated into the Dodger’s Huckleberry.  Last week, The Padres’ rotated through their ghastly uniforms and the Dodgers demolished every iteration.  San Diego's starting pitching is decent, but their middle relief is lit gas.  They took a rare 5-0 lead on a rare Monday day game before losing 13-7.  Four games below .500 and 13.5 games out with 40+ to go?  San Diego is going to enjoy a most colossal failure if this continues.  Juan Soto is not going to re-sign into this malaise.  Hader is probably gone as well.  While the Padres spent money like they just got their first student loan, the Dodgers were patient.  They did not make any splashy signings or blockbuster deals for the 2023 season.  They let Seager, Machado and Bellinger leave without an offer.  Their prize is Shohei Ohtani.  Friedman has been storing his chestnuts for the 2024 free agent campaign.  Ohtani wants to stay in LA and play for the Dodgers by many reports.

 

On June 17, my sister and the Yard in-law purchased our seats for the Giants-Dodger game.  They were excited to attend a game.  The Dodgers lost 15-0.  They would have got mercy ruled in the fifth if that had been one of the new rules.  Giant fervor is not what it once was, but it was a beat down of a bitter rival. Giant has not had much to cheer for the past decade, so they had fun. It was also a harbinger for the future.  LA is 32-14 since that game.  On that June evening, SF was on a roll and back in the NL West mix.  Arizona was in first place and San Diego still had hope. Their fans were crowing to the Yard about the demise of the Dodgers.  Arizona has settled into their historical mediocrity.  San Diego is a dead man walking.  The Giants are thrilled to just be in the Wild Card discussion.  Everybody is looking up and seeing blue.  This Dodger team is more competitive than the fiscal miscreants in NY and SD.  The future's so bright I must wear shades. 

 

Pac-12 Obituary:  When UCLA and USC jumped ship to the Big Ten, the remnants of the conference should have taken heed.  College athletics is all about your television contract for football.  Basketball is more egalitarian because CBS pays the freight.  Football deals are all over the place.  The better the product, the more Benjamins for your school and all the other sports.  The Big Ten now covers every time zone with football programming.  UCLA and USC are getting three times what they were getting in the Pac-12 deal when it existed.  2023 might be the last year of the Pac-12 Network.  They do have bumping offices in downtown SF, which is kind of nice.

Father's Day Edition

The Yard has relocated to the Pacific Northwest for the summer.  Our usual cadence of publishing has been delayed during this transition.  Yard cadence is random at best.  There was a unique opportunity to assist the first cousin of the Yard launching a new wine shop in Roche Harbor, WA.  Several have argued that my placement at the helm of a wine outlet was unwise.  I am quick to point out that I have decades of tireless field work while retiring by 8:30 most nights. The wife is pleased when I bring work home. If you find your travels out to San Juan Island, stop in for a glass.

 

The biggest miss of our travels besides the birth of the first granddaughter of the Yard Annie, was the Vegas Golden Knights record run to the title.  Annie’s arrival is a blessing and we are thrilled that she has safely arrived.  Annie’s Dodger indoctrinations do not start until 18 months following a full moon. She had her first experience with the Yard on Father’s day.  We shared a knowing wink, gurgle, and coo and I think she started the wave.

 

The VGK run to the Stanley cup was completely unexpected.  The Knights did not even make the playoffs last year.  The team expected improvement, but Lord Stanley’s cup was not anticipated.  In the PNW, we found kindred spirits at the resort bar but not the same hang as being in LV. Owner Bill Foley projected a title within the first six years, and the Knights delivered right on time. Many still scoff that VGK got a favorable first draft and that led to all their success.  That draft was seven years ago and much has happened.  What the Knights did in six years, Canada has not done in thirty.  For a nation that prides itself on its hockey, three decades is generational.  For Las Vegas to be playing Florida in the finals must be surreal for Canadians and their drought.  It seems like they would burn the place down, oh wait strike that.

 

The news cycle on the island is 7-10 days, not 24 hours.  The Dodgers are still playing well and in first place, right? It appears that the 2024 Presidential campaign has raised its sails and straight into choppy waters.  Trump’s witches had a successful hunt.  At least the DOJ is on board and brought charges against the ginger Fuhrer for his handling of classified documents.  It is great TV to compare Trump’s comments about Hillary’s use of a private email server in 2016 to his 2023 comments about his storing of highly classified printed documents in a Mar a Lago bathroom.  Kevin McCarthy did clarify that it was a special bathroom, so we feel safer tonight. Trump’s assertion that he can declassify documents in his mind is hilariously scary.  When is he opening his library?

 

And who is that rising above a nearby McDonalds but Chris Christie emerging like a submarine surfacing.  Where has it been, what was it doing? Last we saw Christie he was standing like a bloated potted plant in the first Trump cacophony news cycle. Ron De Santis plowed his public announcement for president like blunt force trauma.  Taking on Disney was a good opening illustration.  Bob Iger has been running Disney since DeSantis was in Harvard Law school.  Iger is a savvy, political independent who has created more jobs, market value and iconic content than exists in Florida if you exclude Disney.  The Yard will challenge DeSantis to use “Woke” less than four times in any campaign speech.  His policy for educational books sounds like the basis for Fahrenheit 451.

 

It has taken some time to unpack the Laker season. For most of the season, the team was awful.  They lingered far from the playoffs.  Rob Pelinka made some aggressive moves at the trading deadline and the team woke up.  Their race from the play-in round to the conference finals was exciting. The second coming of D’Angelo Russell was a better version of the former first-round pick.  He was more mature and did not have a Swaggy P in the locker room to clown him.  He was a non-factor in the Western Finals.  No Laker was a factor in those finals.  Denver had never beaten the Lakers in a conference final previously.  They never did had the Joker either.  He is a special tub of athletes. He looks like he could pass out or be stopping for a slice, but he keeps nailing the most ridiculous of shots.  He extends so many plays just banging away on anything in his way.  Miami had no answer either.  Lebron mused that it was a tough loss, and he might retire.  Lebron is owed more than $90 million for the next two seasons. He is not going anywhere. He had one of his best seasons while becoming the All-time NBA scoring leader.  At 38, he is still among the very best in the league.  He wants another title and so do the Lakers.  The Warriors series was such a battle, and the Lakers took down the champs.  They shot their last silver bullet in that series.  Golden State has an aging roster and Draymond is opting.  They must decide their future.  The Lakers already have and if AD and King James are healthy, another title is possible.

 

And in the end: We missed the coronation of King Charles.  We would have missed it had we been at home.  The Netflix show is better than the real thing.  England wonders why they are falling behind as a world power.  They might start looking at the return-on-investment funding the monarchy.  The Firm is more of a tourist attraction than a business model from our perspective.  How do you find the best to lead when the historical first male DNA is all that matters?  Charles was destined to be king from the time of his birth.  He did his best not to screw that up. Andrew and Fergie have secretly degraded the brand for decades without morals. Harry and Megan have shilled it shamelessly without substance. William and Kate are publicly trying to keep it together for their future while suffering through Charles and Camilla. The House of Windsor has survived for centuries before social media and awakenings.  This could be the end.

The Karma of May

Major League baseball evolves its relevance throughout the 162-game campaign.  The first 130 games are fun and exciting.  When magic numbers start being forecasted Labor Day and the race to the finish begins, it is the best for this fan. The NBA and NHL have similar seasonal trajectories to the playoffs.  In May, teams are sorting out their everyday players, starting rotations, role players and saviors.  So, it was surprising to see the Padres gloating about their last Friday night drubbing of Clayton Kershaw.  Their Clay crying meme was widely pilloried for its classless banality.  Kershaw is a first ballot hall of famer.  He has carried himself with humility and grace while playing through some of the biggest meltdowns in playoff history.  This has been well documented and reported.  Losing to the frigging San Diego Padres on Cinco de Mayo is not even a blip in his mind.  When you poke the beast, you had better have a poke the beast backup plan.  Saturday night, redheaded monster Dustin May shut down everyone but Fernando Tatis with his three hits.  The rest of the order had two.  May struck out six Friars in six innings.  Sunday afternoon, the Padres jumped on Julio Urias in the first inning with two quick runs.  It would be their last.  It was almost enough.  Racist hillbilly Josh Hader had two strikes on Mookie with two outs.  The San Diego faithful were on their feet screaming for the final strike. Hader’s next 93 MPH fastball left Petco at 92 and the game was tied.  Dodgers scored three in the 10^th for the W. Karma is a bitch.

 

The Dodgers always have a target on their back.  The Giants had their moment in the sun before it quickly set.  The AZ Snakes were going to be all that after signing Zack of the spectrum.  The Rockies were going to be the next big thing with Troy and Nolan.  All three teams are striving for a .500 finish in third place. The Padres are the next poser in line.  The Dodgers have won 20 NL West titles.  No other team has won double digits, The Friars have won five in their 54 years of existence.  The Padres have made it to the WS twice and have a record of 1-8 in those fall classics. The Dodgers keep doing what they have done throughout their history building and rebuilding contenders.   Dodger fans have suffered without more championships, but they have been the last two teams 21 times.   They have a record of 7-14 in those WS. The Dodgers have lost in the WS more than any other team. They were the original loveable losers in Brooklyn going 1-8 with only the 1955 Boys of Summer delivering on the promise. San Diego, congratulations on your big May win. See you at the ravine tonight.  Fernando, I think there may be some taunts.  Manny just gets sustained boos. It is still just another regular season game in May. 

 

The Padres payroll is $20 million more than the Dodgers for 2023.  Tatis got suspended for PED’s and his suspension adjusted payroll lowered their overall average. Manny Machado and Fernando Tatis are two of the highest paid and least liked major leaguers.  Kershaw is the model of what it means to be a professional. There is a reason that the Dodgers did not offer Manny a contract when he was their free agent.  He is a punk.  Padres have an unsustainable payroll with a combustible clubhouse. They are trying to goose a WS title before the shit hits the fan.  It will be fun to watch it all implode in the coming years. $200-300 million guarantees are not for the faint of heart.  The Dodgers avoided those big commitments with Manny, Cody and Corey and they are doing just fine.

 

The Lakers and Warriors have never had much of a rivalry.  The Warriors have won seven NBA titles in franchise history.  The four recent titles have made Steph, Clay, and Draymond famous. Before the recent spate of titles, the Warriors had last won an NBA title in 1975.  When the big three showed up the Warriors were playing at their aging Oakland venue.  San Francisco would never help the hapless SF Warriors to get a respectable arena, so they moved to Oakland.  They did not want to take the Oakland moniker, so they became Golden State.  After they won a few titles, the metaverse was ready to woo them back with the luxurious Chase center.  The fans that could not give two turds about the Warriors from 1976-2014.  They were an afterthought to the 49ers and the Giants.  The Giants had long played in the 49ers shadow.  Winning three titles changed that dynamic and the Giants were the new darlings.  When the Giants won those titles, the rivalry between LA and SF reached fevered heights.  The Lakers have won 17 NBA championships in their history.  The Yard is hoping for an 18^th. The Warriors and Lakers have never had an important playoff series ever that the Yard can recall.  Tonight, is game seven for the Lake show.  They lose this home game, and it is going to be a death by 1,000 cuts in SF for the real game seven.  Let’s hope AD and the King can take care of things tonight and move onto the next round. but their three titles changed their trajectory and the size of their fan base.  The Warriors got a whole bunch of new fans the past nine years. 

 

The XFL seems to be doing what their predecessors could never do, become relevant.  With the inaugural season ending, they have fans and a TV deal.  The Yard analytics team is not sure if that will lead to a profit at some point, but relevance has value in this sports landscape. This version of an NFL alternate is not competition to the NFL.  It is a short season completed before the NHL and NBA finals.  This XFL has the benefit of legalized sports betting across many states.  Gambling on football is a passion for many.  Predicting the outcome favorably is more important than the product.  This will drive interest, viewership, and survivability.  Time will tell but they are way ahead of their predecessors after their first season.  Trump decided the USFL was going to go head-to-head with the NFL with a fall season.  How did that turn out?