This is always the time of year to look at your personal scoreboard and see if it was a winning year. Whether it is wins or losses, dollars or sense, inches or pounds it is time to reflect and tally your personal over or under. Did the goals in January 2007 match the results that you wanted this year? After you get done with that ethereal exercise, there are a ton of great games in the next nine days that need your immediate attention.
Here are the four games I like in no particular order: USC scorches Illinois by double digits. The Big 10 is not that good this year and USC is the team no one wants to play right now. John David Booty had an epic game against Michigan in last year’s Rose Bowl and this will be his final game at USC. Joe McKnight is ready to do something special. Pete Carroll has had a month to prepare and Illinois QB Juice Williams is not Vince Young. Illini, win the Beef Bowl, enjoy Disneyland and keep the watch. The game is not going to be fun.
Florida spanks Michigan. Florida Head Coach Urban Meyer knows this is recruiting season and he is going to put his best work out there. Michigan is a mess with head coaching changes and that freaking winter that comes every year to those knuckleheads who should be part of Canada. Orlando will only remind them how much it sucks in Ann Arbor. Gator QB Tim Tebow probably has a big game and then he can thank the Lord Jesus Christ another 27 times in the post game interview like he did in his Heisman acceptance speech. It is nice that he is a God-faring hillbilly but that speech was like watching a train wreck. It was uncomfortable but you just could not stop watching. There are better things to do in Orlando than getting your ass whupped by the Gators. Michigan had better figure out what they are because the ass whupping is coming.
Oklahoma will beat West Virginia. WVA is a sparkling story and I love this team. But it has all ended so ugly. It started with a huge loss at the end of the season to a 28 point underdog Pittsburgh team that knocked WVA out of the BCS Championship game. And then head coach Rich Rodriguez leaves to take the Michigan job. Coach Rodriguez had spurned Alabama’s advances last year and negotiated a fat contract extension. People were none too happy in Morgantown when he opted out this year. When the Governor of the West Virginia voices his outrage, the board of directors for the University votes to sue you for the $4 million buyout, it is time to put the family in protective custody and get out under the cover of darkness. Sooner fans travel huge to every Bowl game, every year. They take over the town, party hard, eat hard, talk Sooner shite all night long, and their team is not going to disappoint them for the second year in a row. "Crispy Crème, stock the shelves in Scottsdale the bus from Norman is 120 miles outside Albuquerque. "
Tennessee easily handles Wisconsin. The Volunteers are playing very well, Wisconsin is not. Tennessee played ten teams that are in bowl games this year and went 7-3 beating Georgia and Kentucky. Wisconsin played six and went 3-3. They did not upset anyone and lost badly to Ohio State and Penn State. Volunteer QB Erik Ainge is a senior who is having an outstanding season. If the Badgers can not get to Ainge, it could get ugly. Ainge was sacked only three times all year so Cheese Heads, bring an extra flask. Wisconsin has been to the Outback Steak Bowl three years in a row and I think they are just sick thinking about grinding through another 112 Blooming Onions.
LSU vs. Ohio State is a “pick them” in my book. I have always been a Buckeye Fan since they won the National Championship beating OJ and the Trojans in the 1968 Rose Bowl game. That was the SC team that knocked this young sports degenerate’s beloved Bruins out of the title game with O.J,’s epic 64 yard touch down run in the 1967 SC-UCLA game. I hated O.J. then, and Trojan nation, I was right on that one but it was not for killing people...allegedly or stealing sports memorabilia from dead beats in Las Vegas. It was for that run. A few years ago, I played in a foursome with Toby Page, the QB who called the audible and handed the ball to O.J. on that historic play. I did not tell him how I felt about that call or the run or share the countless hours in therapy that have plagued my adult life since that fall afternoon of my youth. He seemed a bit ornery with bum knees and several ex-wives. He was the best golfer on our sorry scramble team so I let it go.
Last year, Ohio State Coach Jim Tressle got out-coached by Urban Meyer who already had better talent and better cheer leaders. The Buckeyes got embarrassed. I do not see that happening this year except for the cheerleaders. Those southern girls rock! Les Miles has a better, faster team but the Tigers have let teams hang around all season, especially of late. The game is in New Orleans, LSU is very talented and it should be a great game. Go Buckeyes!
Follow up note: Apparently, UCLA Defensive Coordinator DeWayne Walker is leveraging an offer from University of Washington to be the defensive coordinator in an effort to get UCLA to give him the head coaching job. He is a strong recruiter and UCLA has a top 20 recruiting class. Several recruits have expressed the desire for UCLA to hire Coach Walker. UCLA hire Neuheisel and hope Walker stays but the University needs someone with experience running the football program. DeWayne, it rains 185 days a year in Seattle and it is a lateral move at best. Washington Coach Ty Willingham is coming off two straight losing seasons and has Oklahoma, BYU and a better Notre Dame team on the 2008 non-conference schedule! Put together another solid season or two in Westwood and you will be a hot candidate for a head coaching job somewhere. Do not go work for another head coach on a short plank with bleak upside. You will not be a serious candidate for that job if Willingham gets fired after the season. Dan Guerrero, show DeWayne the love and it is in the greenbacks not the back slaps.
Thanks to all for your comments and encouragement. It has been fun and I hope 2008 is a rich and rewarding year for all. Happy New Year from the Yard.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
www.hireneuheisel.com
http://www.dumpdorrell.com/ filed Chapter 11 two weeks ago. With their primary content provider being “dumped” they had hoped to re-tool the marketing machine and spread their creative expertise to other candidates like Lloyd Carr, Houston McNutt and Dennis Franchione but those wimps all quit before these entrepreneurs could work their magic. With advertising revenues plummeting and Mr. Dorrell not being quickly re-hired, the company was forced to lay themselves off and return to being baristas at Starbucks.
Karl did get the team into the Las Vegas Bowl. Of course, with 66 out of 119 Division 1 football teams playing in bowl games this year, I am not sure that the Vegas Bowl is where the bar is set for coaching excellence. Karl was not there to coach the team so we can blame him for getting UCLA there but not the blocked field goal as time expired. I am sure Dorrell was watching the game on his new plasma screen TV surrounded by his loving, loyal family with the quiet confidence of a man pulling down $1 million a year for the next two years without having to leave the house.
DeWayne Walker did a commendable job getting a 6-6 team ready to play a red hot BYU team that has now won 10 in a row. UCLA beat them in the second game of the season but that was three starting quarterbacks and one head coach ago. The Bruins played hard and had every chance to win the game. DeWayne put his resume out there for the administration.
Dan Guerrero, I like Coach Walker and I hope he stays on to coach the defense next year. He is a first class recruiter and UCLA has a top class coming in if he stays. He has taken UCLA back into the LA hood to get some of the local talent that Bob Tolardo abandoned during his reign of mediocrity. But it is one thing to have three weeks to prepare for one game. It is quite another to go head to head against Mike Belloti, Dennis Erikson, Pete Carroll and the rest of the Pac-10 every week.
UCLA, please give the job to Rick Neuheisel. Neuheisel has tremendous credentials. He was a walk on at UCLA. In 1983, when the team started 0-3-1, Terry Donahue gave Ricky the starting QB job. He only completed 25 of 27 passes to beat top ranked Washington. UCLA finished 6-4-1. They beat USC at the Coliseum 27-17 and upset 4th ranked Illinois in the1984 Rose bowl, 45-9. His primary receiver was Karl Dorrell. He threw a then Rose Bowl Record four touchdown passes in that game and was inducted into the Rose Bowl Hall of Fame in 1999. As a head coach, he has posted winning records at two different schools, Colorado and Washington. He is also probably willing to work on the cheap which always helps at UCLA.
Neuheisel was an academic All-American. UCLA gets a few of those, not so many across town. He actually graduated college and then got his Law Degree from USC. He passed the Arizona bar and planned on practicing law, making his millions and getting busy on a regular basis with some fine ASU Trim. His next decision, I question because he came back to UCLA as the Quarterback Coach making $30,000 a year working for Terry Donahue. Money in hand, trolling Scottsdale on Thursday nights or watching game film with Terry, eating In and Out and preparing for Oregon State? I am a die hard Bruin Football crank but I am so eating sushi with co-eds that Thursday night if it is my call. "Another Mojito, please. "
He left Washington and Colorado under some duress. He bent some rules while at Colorado…allegedly. He had too many contacts to a few recruits, minor stuff. There were not any sports agents paying his star running back’s parents $200,000 or have that same "impoverished" junior running back wearing 2 Karat Diamond studs at his Heisman acceptance speech on National TV...nothing like that.
He did win the office March Madness Office Pool at UW. The guy who wins the pool is an instant legend. He gets introduced at future BBQ's, as "the guy that won the office pool." Apparently, this created some undue scrutiny of Coach Nueheisel’s college basketball picking skills. Some administrators went so far as to suggest that the office pool was actually a form of gambling! Nonsense, it is like Mom, Apple Pie and Super Bowl squares for a $1. UW whacked him anyway. He did sue the NCAA, was completely exonerated and got $4.3 million for all of that unnecessary nonsense. I am not sure I want him in my pool. I have a good shot this year.
Surfer Rick is at least as youthful and good looking as Emperor Pete. He knows the town and he loves the limelight. He has been a head coach in College and Offensive Coordinator in the Pro’s. He was QB coach to Troy Aikman at UCLA. Norm Chow was on the short list also. I think Troy has accomplished more than any of the QB's Norm mentored combined. So he beats SC as a coach and a player, he wins bowl games as coach and a player, coached a Hall of Fame QB, wins the $5,000 office pool, sues the arrogant bastards who run the NCAA and then kicks their collective asses in court? Rick, press hard third copy is yours and welcome back to Westwood.
Neuheisel not only has the credentials to be the next high paid public employee coaching football at UCLA, he has better credentials than Tony Villaragosa, Diane Feinstein and Arnold who are already on California public pay rolls. He has my vote!
BTW: USC honks, got your calls on Saturday night after the gut wrenching loss in the Vegas Bowl. It was nice while I was nursing an 11 margarita Maalox moment and getting slammed at the tables but I really appreciated your heart felt condolences. I had one of my friend's children confirm that you are #1 in a Kodak moment on the blog site. I think you will know which picture it is but call me with any questions.
Random Thought: It seems odd that NFL player Kyle Turley has tirelessly fought and solicited money from current players to raise a mere $400,000 for all of those retired NFL Players not covered by the pension plan. These players never made much money, injuries were just as severe and medicine was not so user friendly back them. At the same time, a judge has ordered Mike Vick to pay $900,000 to ensure lifetime care for the dogs siezed from his property? Something seems amiss there but I am glad the dogs got a good deal. Mike might need a loan from them when he gets out of prison.
Final thought: It was a historical year for upsets in college football. The team ranked #2 had a 2-7 record while ranked second. Stanford’s upset of USC this year was the biggest college football upset since Las Vegas first posted odds. A 40 point underdog was the largest underdog ever to take down a big dog. It was a home game so it is nice that 92,000 Trojan faithful got to see a slice of history. The ticket stubs are a hot item on eBay I am sure. That game is why Troy is playing on January 1 and not January 7, 2008.
I thought some of you might want to know that.
Karl did get the team into the Las Vegas Bowl. Of course, with 66 out of 119 Division 1 football teams playing in bowl games this year, I am not sure that the Vegas Bowl is where the bar is set for coaching excellence. Karl was not there to coach the team so we can blame him for getting UCLA there but not the blocked field goal as time expired. I am sure Dorrell was watching the game on his new plasma screen TV surrounded by his loving, loyal family with the quiet confidence of a man pulling down $1 million a year for the next two years without having to leave the house.
DeWayne Walker did a commendable job getting a 6-6 team ready to play a red hot BYU team that has now won 10 in a row. UCLA beat them in the second game of the season but that was three starting quarterbacks and one head coach ago. The Bruins played hard and had every chance to win the game. DeWayne put his resume out there for the administration.
Dan Guerrero, I like Coach Walker and I hope he stays on to coach the defense next year. He is a first class recruiter and UCLA has a top class coming in if he stays. He has taken UCLA back into the LA hood to get some of the local talent that Bob Tolardo abandoned during his reign of mediocrity. But it is one thing to have three weeks to prepare for one game. It is quite another to go head to head against Mike Belloti, Dennis Erikson, Pete Carroll and the rest of the Pac-10 every week.
UCLA, please give the job to Rick Neuheisel. Neuheisel has tremendous credentials. He was a walk on at UCLA. In 1983, when the team started 0-3-1, Terry Donahue gave Ricky the starting QB job. He only completed 25 of 27 passes to beat top ranked Washington. UCLA finished 6-4-1. They beat USC at the Coliseum 27-17 and upset 4th ranked Illinois in the1984 Rose bowl, 45-9. His primary receiver was Karl Dorrell. He threw a then Rose Bowl Record four touchdown passes in that game and was inducted into the Rose Bowl Hall of Fame in 1999. As a head coach, he has posted winning records at two different schools, Colorado and Washington. He is also probably willing to work on the cheap which always helps at UCLA.
Neuheisel was an academic All-American. UCLA gets a few of those, not so many across town. He actually graduated college and then got his Law Degree from USC. He passed the Arizona bar and planned on practicing law, making his millions and getting busy on a regular basis with some fine ASU Trim. His next decision, I question because he came back to UCLA as the Quarterback Coach making $30,000 a year working for Terry Donahue. Money in hand, trolling Scottsdale on Thursday nights or watching game film with Terry, eating In and Out and preparing for Oregon State? I am a die hard Bruin Football crank but I am so eating sushi with co-eds that Thursday night if it is my call. "Another Mojito, please. "
He left Washington and Colorado under some duress. He bent some rules while at Colorado…allegedly. He had too many contacts to a few recruits, minor stuff. There were not any sports agents paying his star running back’s parents $200,000 or have that same "impoverished" junior running back wearing 2 Karat Diamond studs at his Heisman acceptance speech on National TV...nothing like that.
He did win the office March Madness Office Pool at UW. The guy who wins the pool is an instant legend. He gets introduced at future BBQ's, as "the guy that won the office pool." Apparently, this created some undue scrutiny of Coach Nueheisel’s college basketball picking skills. Some administrators went so far as to suggest that the office pool was actually a form of gambling! Nonsense, it is like Mom, Apple Pie and Super Bowl squares for a $1. UW whacked him anyway. He did sue the NCAA, was completely exonerated and got $4.3 million for all of that unnecessary nonsense. I am not sure I want him in my pool. I have a good shot this year.
Surfer Rick is at least as youthful and good looking as Emperor Pete. He knows the town and he loves the limelight. He has been a head coach in College and Offensive Coordinator in the Pro’s. He was QB coach to Troy Aikman at UCLA. Norm Chow was on the short list also. I think Troy has accomplished more than any of the QB's Norm mentored combined. So he beats SC as a coach and a player, he wins bowl games as coach and a player, coached a Hall of Fame QB, wins the $5,000 office pool, sues the arrogant bastards who run the NCAA and then kicks their collective asses in court? Rick, press hard third copy is yours and welcome back to Westwood.
Neuheisel not only has the credentials to be the next high paid public employee coaching football at UCLA, he has better credentials than Tony Villaragosa, Diane Feinstein and Arnold who are already on California public pay rolls. He has my vote!
BTW: USC honks, got your calls on Saturday night after the gut wrenching loss in the Vegas Bowl. It was nice while I was nursing an 11 margarita Maalox moment and getting slammed at the tables but I really appreciated your heart felt condolences. I had one of my friend's children confirm that you are #1 in a Kodak moment on the blog site. I think you will know which picture it is but call me with any questions.
Random Thought: It seems odd that NFL player Kyle Turley has tirelessly fought and solicited money from current players to raise a mere $400,000 for all of those retired NFL Players not covered by the pension plan. These players never made much money, injuries were just as severe and medicine was not so user friendly back them. At the same time, a judge has ordered Mike Vick to pay $900,000 to ensure lifetime care for the dogs siezed from his property? Something seems amiss there but I am glad the dogs got a good deal. Mike might need a loan from them when he gets out of prison.
Final thought: It was a historical year for upsets in college football. The team ranked #2 had a 2-7 record while ranked second. Stanford’s upset of USC this year was the biggest college football upset since Las Vegas first posted odds. A 40 point underdog was the largest underdog ever to take down a big dog. It was a home game so it is nice that 92,000 Trojan faithful got to see a slice of history. The ticket stubs are a hot item on eBay I am sure. That game is why Troy is playing on January 1 and not January 7, 2008.
I thought some of you might want to know that.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
The Dennis Mitchell Report
The Dennis Mitchell Report
If there were (steroids) problems, I wanted them revealed," he said. "If there were individuals who engaged in wrongdoing, I wanted those facts to come to light. If there were recommendations that would improve our drug testing programs, I wanted to hear them. Commissioner Bud.
Is it just me or does not Bud Selig look like the guy who played Mr. Wilson on the old Dennis the Menace series? He just seems to get fooled and surprised all the time. It would not be so amazing, if he were not the COMMISSIONER OF FREAKING BASEBALL!
Bud’s comments in light of the findings by Senator George Mitchell were transparent and self-serving. Bud knew, as every owner knew, that players were using clever enhancements to recover faster from injuries, build muscle mass, and perform at otherworldly levels! MLB spent $20 million researching the steroid issue when collectively they all made billions while the players were smoking the HGH huka. Do the math: No victim, no liability and the fans come back to the park, team valuations balloon, it is all good.
Now Bud wants us to believe he was bamboozled. He had no clue that all of this was going on right under his watch. What every true baseball fan in
If I were Roger Clemens, I would have shut the hell up, waited out the weekend and let this all die down. Sports media consumption is like Chinese food and we all want something new and different 20 minutes later. Roger, you are not going to sue. You are not going to do anything. You did not even make your own statement of outrage. You had your agent do it. Guilty guys always do that. You have been banking $18-20 million a year when guys your age should be doing cell phone commercials with their wives. Did any other pitcher win a Cy Young at 42 years old? Roger deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. He also deserves every bit of the heat he is getting for his alleged use of steroids. Right now, I would not want to be Roger the sports icon, Roger the pillar in the community, and Roger the father who has to face and answer to his friends and family.
Jose Canseco was right! He was eight for eight on the people he said used steroids and ended up on the list. He is still an idiot trying to sell books and pay off ex-wives. The Mitchell Report gave him what he deserved, one sentence.
Baseball did not do this investigation to get the truth. MLB knew the truth. They did this to cut their losses and stop the rest of the story. Admit some culpability, throw a big name or two to the wolves, do some penance, and keep the Feds off your ass.
There were 84 players named in the report. The names came from four sources, a club house nome from the Mets, Roger Clemens personal trainer and two aggressive pharmacies or “aging” centers that got raided with some very pesky paper trails.
I might be as naïve as Bud, but do you think there might be just one other clubhouse guy besides Kirk Radomski who got some juice for the players they idolize? Do you think there was possibly just one other trainer besides Brian McNamee who provided mother’s little helper to the athletes that they trained? Do you maybe think that there were more clinics/pharmacies than two that supplied the stuff but did not get raided?
Senator Mitchell is an attorney. He knew he needed bullet proof data before he named several very well paid plaintiffs represented by well paid attorneys, agents and business managers. So, do you think there might be another 25-50 players who were shrouded in complicity but not enough evidence to put them in the report? With 84 names in the can and a job well done, do we risk a law suit? What if there were maybe four other sources, would there be 168 names, or 276 or more? There are only 800 players in MLB. Do you think Bud wanted this to go much further? Do the math.
The 84 were offered up to the media so they could gnash and chew and the Budster could say he had been courageous and righteous in the face of evil. Were there any current superstars listed there? Roger Clemens is done. Andy Pettite should not have hung out with Roger but he is also pretty well done. Paul LoDuca, Eric Gagne, Paul Byrd, Lenny Dykstra, Todd Hundley?! This was a “Bring out your dead” kind of report. There was not one person mentioned who is an impact player, who has much of a career left or more importantly who is the current face of baseball. What about A-Rod? What about Albert Puljos? I have no evidence that they used HGH but it would seem unlikely that they did not.
Bud Selig is the absolute worst commissioner of any sport in this galaxy and possibly any known galaxy. Despite his ineptitude and malfeasance, is the only victim of this episode the baseball fan? And what are we a victim of? The tarnishing of the records and statistics that we hold so dear? Integrity, truth and realism in sports? WTF. I go the park to see big strong pitchers throw 98 mph heat to a hillbilly circus freak who can go yard on a pitch in the dirt. What do I care if his testicles shrink, he beats his wife, and he dies at age 51? He probably made more money for the five games I got to attend last year than I will earn in 20 years. We all have our own problems. Be pissed, boo Bud but get over it. Please dim the lights, the real show is about to begin….
,
Saturday, December 8, 2007
The Heisman Issue
The Heisman Issue
When you turn fifty, or so I have heard, you start to reminisce about more innocent times. Going to high school in the 70’s, times were not so innocent although that was my plea on at least one occasion.
The game I wanted to see, West Virginia vs. Missouri, went south, bloated in BCS secret sauce Saturday night. Missouri was playing Big Boy Football against the Sooners in the big 12 Championship game. The Tigers were underdogs and they played like it all night. But how does the Pride of Morgan Town, West Virginia, lose to a 28 point underdog Pittsburgh team with the BCS Title game yours for the taking? Panther Coach, Dave Wannstedt has not coached and won a big game since…EVER! You would have absolutely made the Buckeye defense look silly in the BCS Title Game and won an unprecedented National Championship for the Mountaineers. There is no more waiting, this was next year.
If you think the Sports Illustrated curse is tea leaves and Ouija Boards, think again. Kansas and Missouri went down after being on the SI covers on consecutive weeks. Now, I have created the curse of Tony at the Yard! Heal, let the devil be gone!
The only team who seems to be immune from this scourge is the New England Patriots. They are on the SI cover like once a month. After watching the last moments of the Ravens game Monday night, I am thinking forget about Brady, lies and video tape what deal did Bellicek cut with the red guy sporting a tail and pitch fork?
It would be a great story if Chase Daniels wins the Heisman on Saturday night. He won’t, Tim Tebow is going to become the first sophomore ever to win this coveted award. You can not argue Tebow’s stats but he needs to stay in college and graduate. He will not be able to play quarterback like that on Sundays but against College linebackers, he is tough to stop. He has a 177 passer rating and he set the SEC record for RUSHING touchdowns. Freakish statistics and even more amazing on a team with three losses.
Colt Brennan is an amazing story. He backed up Matt Leinhart in High school. He got kicked off the Colorado Football team freshman year. Colorado football players were out of control and the CU administration decided to make an example of young Colt. Mr. Brennan apparently decided to make a late night visit on a female dorm neighbor after downing a 12 pack. She had a different take on his advances. He ended up at Hawaii and has put up the best numbers in the country for three years. He is articulate, honest and contrite. His game winning drive against the Washington Huskies, last Saturday night was Elway-esque, only better. He was 42 out of 50 passing in that game for 448 yards. This kid is not throwing swing passes or slants either. They move the ball down the field. Georgia better quit whining about not being in the title game. Athens, GA will be no fun on New Year’s when the Bulldogs lose to the Rainbow Warriors with a coach named June.
Darren McFadden will have a bigger impact in the NFL than any of the Heisman Finalists, Reggie Bush, Matt Leinhart or any the Heisman winners still in the NFL. It is amazing what he does with those spindly legs. He reminds me of Eric Dickerson. He is exciting to watch play when he is having one of those games and he has had several. He has another gear in the open field. Additionally, he is another stirring testimonial to the value of an SEC education. I defy you to understand more than three words in any interview he gives.
Chase Daniels is probably not going to play on Sundays. Six foot quarterbacks can win Heismans but they do not usually win too many games in the NFL. He led his high school team to the Texas state championship three straight years and won two of them. I am sure all the Texas High School Football rednecks still talk about the title game they lost to end a 47 game win streak his junior year. It was the only game he lost as the starting QB.
Mr. Daniels was one of the most heavily recruited quarterbacks in the nation coming out of the legendary Lake Carroll Football program. He did not want to back up Vince Young for the Longhorns so he skipped out of Dodge and went to Missouri! This year, he leads Missouri to their first ever Big 12 Title game. Texas, Texas Tech and Texas A&M all got to watch the game from thier homes. He is a bright, articulate kid, with surprising speed and a cannon arm stuffed into a chunky, modest frame. He outweighs me by a bit but he sure carries it better in his six feet of vertical displacement than I can muster. Chase, have fun in New York, enjoy the dinner, let me know who Leinhart is with, and congratulate Tim.
Readers, send me your lock bowl picks before December 15. I am bit underwater this year and baby needs new shoes.
“Well, I guess well done is better than well said.” Tom Brady
When you turn fifty, or so I have heard, you start to reminisce about more innocent times. Going to high school in the 70’s, times were not so innocent although that was my plea on at least one occasion.
The game I wanted to see, West Virginia vs. Missouri, went south, bloated in BCS secret sauce Saturday night. Missouri was playing Big Boy Football against the Sooners in the big 12 Championship game. The Tigers were underdogs and they played like it all night. But how does the Pride of Morgan Town, West Virginia, lose to a 28 point underdog Pittsburgh team with the BCS Title game yours for the taking? Panther Coach, Dave Wannstedt has not coached and won a big game since…EVER! You would have absolutely made the Buckeye defense look silly in the BCS Title Game and won an unprecedented National Championship for the Mountaineers. There is no more waiting, this was next year.
If you think the Sports Illustrated curse is tea leaves and Ouija Boards, think again. Kansas and Missouri went down after being on the SI covers on consecutive weeks. Now, I have created the curse of Tony at the Yard! Heal, let the devil be gone!
The only team who seems to be immune from this scourge is the New England Patriots. They are on the SI cover like once a month. After watching the last moments of the Ravens game Monday night, I am thinking forget about Brady, lies and video tape what deal did Bellicek cut with the red guy sporting a tail and pitch fork?
It would be a great story if Chase Daniels wins the Heisman on Saturday night. He won’t, Tim Tebow is going to become the first sophomore ever to win this coveted award. You can not argue Tebow’s stats but he needs to stay in college and graduate. He will not be able to play quarterback like that on Sundays but against College linebackers, he is tough to stop. He has a 177 passer rating and he set the SEC record for RUSHING touchdowns. Freakish statistics and even more amazing on a team with three losses.
Colt Brennan is an amazing story. He backed up Matt Leinhart in High school. He got kicked off the Colorado Football team freshman year. Colorado football players were out of control and the CU administration decided to make an example of young Colt. Mr. Brennan apparently decided to make a late night visit on a female dorm neighbor after downing a 12 pack. She had a different take on his advances. He ended up at Hawaii and has put up the best numbers in the country for three years. He is articulate, honest and contrite. His game winning drive against the Washington Huskies, last Saturday night was Elway-esque, only better. He was 42 out of 50 passing in that game for 448 yards. This kid is not throwing swing passes or slants either. They move the ball down the field. Georgia better quit whining about not being in the title game. Athens, GA will be no fun on New Year’s when the Bulldogs lose to the Rainbow Warriors with a coach named June.
Darren McFadden will have a bigger impact in the NFL than any of the Heisman Finalists, Reggie Bush, Matt Leinhart or any the Heisman winners still in the NFL. It is amazing what he does with those spindly legs. He reminds me of Eric Dickerson. He is exciting to watch play when he is having one of those games and he has had several. He has another gear in the open field. Additionally, he is another stirring testimonial to the value of an SEC education. I defy you to understand more than three words in any interview he gives.
Chase Daniels is probably not going to play on Sundays. Six foot quarterbacks can win Heismans but they do not usually win too many games in the NFL. He led his high school team to the Texas state championship three straight years and won two of them. I am sure all the Texas High School Football rednecks still talk about the title game they lost to end a 47 game win streak his junior year. It was the only game he lost as the starting QB.
Mr. Daniels was one of the most heavily recruited quarterbacks in the nation coming out of the legendary Lake Carroll Football program. He did not want to back up Vince Young for the Longhorns so he skipped out of Dodge and went to Missouri! This year, he leads Missouri to their first ever Big 12 Title game. Texas, Texas Tech and Texas A&M all got to watch the game from thier homes. He is a bright, articulate kid, with surprising speed and a cannon arm stuffed into a chunky, modest frame. He outweighs me by a bit but he sure carries it better in his six feet of vertical displacement than I can muster. Chase, have fun in New York, enjoy the dinner, let me know who Leinhart is with, and congratulate Tim.
Readers, send me your lock bowl picks before December 15. I am bit underwater this year and baby needs new shoes.
“Well, I guess well done is better than well said.” Tom Brady
Saturday, December 1, 2007
It is a bunch of BCS!
The Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum on Saturday afternoon @ 1:30 PM lurks. Since age 12, when I drank my first Blue and Gold Kool Aid, I have had many a miserable Saturday afternoon in the late fall at this aging facility. I replaced the Kool Aid with beverages that more effectively numb the senses because winning and Coliseum are some of the scarcest words in a Bruin Football Google Search. I can deal with a 48 point beat down, I just can not stomach getting sucked into a close game, getting my hopes dashed and then having five drunken USC fraternity brothers taunt me all the way back to my car.
It is not all about me, my childhood trauma and the Bruin BBQ on Exposition Boulevard, I want West Virginia and Missouri to make it to the BCS title game. That is the game and the story I want to see written that make college sports memorable and refreshing. It is Chase Daniels at Missouri and Pat White of West Virginia Mountaineers. Teams never ranked this high, this late. Players who followed their dreams a bit further off the interstate and all of the faithful who cheer them and will never forget them. Owen Schmitt of WVA has never lost a yard rushing in his 19 collegiate games. He is 6’3” and 250. He will never run a 4.4 40 but he is smash mouth football. These are incredible stories about kids who are having legendary seasons at non-legendary schools in college football. Both quarterbacks should be in New York when the Heisman Trophy is awarded. And Owen Schmitt can be my wing man any night. That is what makes college athletics refreshing and exciting. Actually that and college coeds but that is another story on a different web site. This year is unique and I embrace it for those teams and these moments. Next year, every tradtional power is ready to re-load and cash the checks they already wrote.
NCAA Division One College Football is the only sport on the entire planet that does not have a play off to determine their champion. The reason is not because these are student athletes and University Presidents do not want to extend the season so they can study. It is not because it would upset the Bowl history. And it is not because I am wasting your moments here lobbying for a playoff. It is all about the Benjamins.
The BCS is controlled by the six biggest conferences in NCAA football. The Pac-10, Big 10, Big 12, and SEC have had two BCS Bowl Teams almost every year. The Big East and the ACC long for that double dip but they are just happy to be included in the Gravy Train. The Average pay out to each school in a BCS Conference is a minimum of $1.4 million and can be $2 million+ this year. This is every school and this is every year just for the BCS games not the Meinke Muffler Blue Bonnet Games. Those Second Tier bowls that UCLA, Oregon State and Boise State are invited to, is money on top of the big dollars. In BCS monopoly money, Stanford is making as much money as USC if USC wins the Rose Bowl. In a non-BCS conference, best case scenario it is $352,000/school if two schools become BCS eligible. That has never happened since the BCS was founded.
Why would BCS conference University Presidents want to open the doors to a play off when they already are printing money and they do not have a payroll cap?
The BCS is the brain child of the commissioner of the SEC not some neutral third party interested in determining a true champion. It is cash distribution system for the elite conferences to increase income and dispense it among their elite members so they can remain elite. It is old school economics for the old schools. It is a January Payday and the usual suspects are already in line. Next year is lining up the same way. It works for my conference but does it work for all? Ask the University of Hawaii on Monday.
It is not all about me, my childhood trauma and the Bruin BBQ on Exposition Boulevard, I want West Virginia and Missouri to make it to the BCS title game. That is the game and the story I want to see written that make college sports memorable and refreshing. It is Chase Daniels at Missouri and Pat White of West Virginia Mountaineers. Teams never ranked this high, this late. Players who followed their dreams a bit further off the interstate and all of the faithful who cheer them and will never forget them. Owen Schmitt of WVA has never lost a yard rushing in his 19 collegiate games. He is 6’3” and 250. He will never run a 4.4 40 but he is smash mouth football. These are incredible stories about kids who are having legendary seasons at non-legendary schools in college football. Both quarterbacks should be in New York when the Heisman Trophy is awarded. And Owen Schmitt can be my wing man any night. That is what makes college athletics refreshing and exciting. Actually that and college coeds but that is another story on a different web site. This year is unique and I embrace it for those teams and these moments. Next year, every tradtional power is ready to re-load and cash the checks they already wrote.
NCAA Division One College Football is the only sport on the entire planet that does not have a play off to determine their champion. The reason is not because these are student athletes and University Presidents do not want to extend the season so they can study. It is not because it would upset the Bowl history. And it is not because I am wasting your moments here lobbying for a playoff. It is all about the Benjamins.
The BCS is controlled by the six biggest conferences in NCAA football. The Pac-10, Big 10, Big 12, and SEC have had two BCS Bowl Teams almost every year. The Big East and the ACC long for that double dip but they are just happy to be included in the Gravy Train. The Average pay out to each school in a BCS Conference is a minimum of $1.4 million and can be $2 million+ this year. This is every school and this is every year just for the BCS games not the Meinke Muffler Blue Bonnet Games. Those Second Tier bowls that UCLA, Oregon State and Boise State are invited to, is money on top of the big dollars. In BCS monopoly money, Stanford is making as much money as USC if USC wins the Rose Bowl. In a non-BCS conference, best case scenario it is $352,000/school if two schools become BCS eligible. That has never happened since the BCS was founded.
Why would BCS conference University Presidents want to open the doors to a play off when they already are printing money and they do not have a payroll cap?
The BCS is the brain child of the commissioner of the SEC not some neutral third party interested in determining a true champion. It is cash distribution system for the elite conferences to increase income and dispense it among their elite members so they can remain elite. It is old school economics for the old schools. It is a January Payday and the usual suspects are already in line. Next year is lining up the same way. It works for my conference but does it work for all? Ask the University of Hawaii on Monday.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Bud and Barry-Who is to blame?
These are the high holy days of the college football season. Rivalry games, face paint, coaching meltdowns, Bo, Woody, turkeys, heroes and villains and I really did not need Texas Tech to put a beat down on the Sooners. I had already lost my three game parlay. But with all of the splendor on the grass, why do I have Barry on my mind? Barry Bonds and his steroids shrunken testicles can rot away in Federal prison for all I care about that arrogant prick. He is a former Giant. That alone will get him 2 to 4 years in Leavenworth on my ledger. I do not care that Barry used steroids. Who is the victim of his alleged crimes?
Barry’s crime is not HGH. He lied to a Federal Grand Jury when they granted him immunity if he just told the truth…allegedly. “Mr. Bonds, thank you for joining us today. Did you stick the needle filled with radioactive testosterone into your left butt cheek?” Just admit it like Giambi and Sheffield and get back to your records and $17 million annual salary. Some shame, some embarrassment when the sealed testimony gets leaked like it always does but you get to keep your job. But Barrogant, you just could not do that and risk further tainting your tainted records.
Legal issues notwithstanding, is Bonds the only culprit from the steroids era in baseball? Did he act alone or was there another shooter on the grassy knoll? In 1993, Major League Baseball drew a record 70 million fans to the ball parks across America. In 1994, Baseball had its 8th and most disastrous work stoppage in modern history. Fans always came back after the first SEVEN strikes but the 1994 strike wiped out the World Series for the first time since 1904. Fans were outraged that the beloved World Series of their parents and grandparents would be lost for the public that season. In 1995, attendance drops by 28%. The team suffering the largest percentage drop in attendance was the Milwaukee Brewers who were owned by one Bud Selig. The Budster was struggling with a terrible team, plummeting attendance while he was lobbying the state to build him a new stadium. And on top of that, he wakes up every morning in freaking Milwaukee!
Baseball limped along with apathetic fan support for nearly three years and then in 1998, chemically enhanced Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire started bombing baseballs out of the yard at unprecedented numbers. There were rumors and questions but everyone cheered their amazing exploits and went back to the park for $10 beers and $6 Hot Dogs. Barry noticed also and he contacted BALCO in 2000. The resurgence in baseball was on and attendance and all the related revenue streams jumped to new records. The billion dollar Yankee Sports Network was founded in 1999 during these heady times. And in 2001, Buddy Selig opened his new $400 million stadium financed with $310 million from the state of Wisconsin.
Every owner turned a blind eye to these “enhanced” players because the fans were coming back to the park in record numbers. In 2004, Bud sold the Brewers for $180 million; a team he purchased in bankruptcy for $13 million in 1970. During the Steroid era, he profited handsomely through revenue sharing and a new TV contract buoyed by renewed fan interest. So you think anyone was calling for an investigation then? Bud was a very happy owner, became a very rich owner and remained a very quiet owner during these times.
Now it is 2007, and we are all morally outraged that what was rumored to be happening during these times, really happened. Those players had been on steroids?! Damn, I knew something was in those sunflower seeds. The owners apparently never noticed what was dramatically apparent to the rest of the baseball fans. It was good thing because who needs the Mitchell Commission snooping in your dirt when you are trying to sell a ball team? At the end of the day the ownership of baseball earned more money and higher team valuations from the inflated statistics of these “renegade” athletes than any of those same athletes, BALCO or anyone else earned who supposedly prospered by using or distributing illegal steroids. Bud Selig prospered more than most and leveraged that success into being the Commissioner of Baseball.
Barry absolutely deserves the tsunami of feces that is going to crash down on his Michelin Man head over the next twelve months. It is not a good day when the unpleasant men in the dark suits and crew cuts are standing behind the microphones reading your name followed by a litany of charges all punishable by 5+ years in prison and one complimentary gang rape in the showers. BTW: OJ sold the White Bronco, see you in court on the 7th.
And saintly Commissioner Bud now denounces Barry. Without Barry, Sammy, and the rest of the Juice it Up Celebrity All-Stars Buddy boy, you are still one car dealership away from being somebody. Be disgusted with Barry but be outraged at Bud and the rest who looked the other way when it was profitable to do so.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity…
Charles Dickens
Barry’s crime is not HGH. He lied to a Federal Grand Jury when they granted him immunity if he just told the truth…allegedly. “Mr. Bonds, thank you for joining us today. Did you stick the needle filled with radioactive testosterone into your left butt cheek?” Just admit it like Giambi and Sheffield and get back to your records and $17 million annual salary. Some shame, some embarrassment when the sealed testimony gets leaked like it always does but you get to keep your job. But Barrogant, you just could not do that and risk further tainting your tainted records.
Legal issues notwithstanding, is Bonds the only culprit from the steroids era in baseball? Did he act alone or was there another shooter on the grassy knoll? In 1993, Major League Baseball drew a record 70 million fans to the ball parks across America. In 1994, Baseball had its 8th and most disastrous work stoppage in modern history. Fans always came back after the first SEVEN strikes but the 1994 strike wiped out the World Series for the first time since 1904. Fans were outraged that the beloved World Series of their parents and grandparents would be lost for the public that season. In 1995, attendance drops by 28%. The team suffering the largest percentage drop in attendance was the Milwaukee Brewers who were owned by one Bud Selig. The Budster was struggling with a terrible team, plummeting attendance while he was lobbying the state to build him a new stadium. And on top of that, he wakes up every morning in freaking Milwaukee!
Baseball limped along with apathetic fan support for nearly three years and then in 1998, chemically enhanced Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire started bombing baseballs out of the yard at unprecedented numbers. There were rumors and questions but everyone cheered their amazing exploits and went back to the park for $10 beers and $6 Hot Dogs. Barry noticed also and he contacted BALCO in 2000. The resurgence in baseball was on and attendance and all the related revenue streams jumped to new records. The billion dollar Yankee Sports Network was founded in 1999 during these heady times. And in 2001, Buddy Selig opened his new $400 million stadium financed with $310 million from the state of Wisconsin.
Every owner turned a blind eye to these “enhanced” players because the fans were coming back to the park in record numbers. In 2004, Bud sold the Brewers for $180 million; a team he purchased in bankruptcy for $13 million in 1970. During the Steroid era, he profited handsomely through revenue sharing and a new TV contract buoyed by renewed fan interest. So you think anyone was calling for an investigation then? Bud was a very happy owner, became a very rich owner and remained a very quiet owner during these times.
Now it is 2007, and we are all morally outraged that what was rumored to be happening during these times, really happened. Those players had been on steroids?! Damn, I knew something was in those sunflower seeds. The owners apparently never noticed what was dramatically apparent to the rest of the baseball fans. It was good thing because who needs the Mitchell Commission snooping in your dirt when you are trying to sell a ball team? At the end of the day the ownership of baseball earned more money and higher team valuations from the inflated statistics of these “renegade” athletes than any of those same athletes, BALCO or anyone else earned who supposedly prospered by using or distributing illegal steroids. Bud Selig prospered more than most and leveraged that success into being the Commissioner of Baseball.
Barry absolutely deserves the tsunami of feces that is going to crash down on his Michelin Man head over the next twelve months. It is not a good day when the unpleasant men in the dark suits and crew cuts are standing behind the microphones reading your name followed by a litany of charges all punishable by 5+ years in prison and one complimentary gang rape in the showers. BTW: OJ sold the White Bronco, see you in court on the 7th.
And saintly Commissioner Bud now denounces Barry. Without Barry, Sammy, and the rest of the Juice it Up Celebrity All-Stars Buddy boy, you are still one car dealership away from being somebody. Be disgusted with Barry but be outraged at Bud and the rest who looked the other way when it was profitable to do so.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity…
Charles Dickens
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Game Changing Moments
Game Changing Moments
I enjoy those Game Changing Moments spots by Pontiac that are shown on ESPN about seventy-five times a day. There were so many great plays this college football season. They constantly show that touchdown pass by Stanford to upset USC a few weeks back. It was an amazing play but I guess it depends on your perspective. I have many friends who hate those spots.
It was nice that Bruin Basketball began and Bruin Football ended on the same weekend this year. I hate when my false hopes for football linger into the Holiday Season. The Football team has already agreed to play two more meaningless games, try to mess up the BCS, give Karl Dorrell $750,000 and send him back to the NFL. The Basketball team hopefully will still be playing during the Easter Season.
The Orange Bowl Stadium is being demolished. When I heard the news, it felt like an uncle I never met had died. Miami’s 1st National Championship upset win over Nebraska in 1984, Joe Willie Namath delivering on his prediction against the favored Colts in 1969, and Doug Flutie’s Hail Mary pass all happened on that hallowed sod. Why do they get rid of a great stadium with such a rich history, creaky seats and trough urinals and we still have the Coliseum?
I liken the Kobe situation with the Lakers to the Cuban Missile Crisis. Certainly, that seminal moment of the Cold War will be studied more in the years ahead. Like the Kobe situation, those moments were about posturing, rhetoric and threats. In the end, everyone backed down, saved face and then saved the world or at least Southern Florida. Ok, maybe it is not the same and maybe Kobe has more hair and flair than Nikita Khrushchev and for sure the Buss Family singers are not in the Kennedy’s stratosphere. But can we all just hope everyone shuts up, finds a way to save face, pulls their finger away from the trigger and saves the Lakers? I want to hear about winning not whining.
I do not think the much heralded OJ Mayo tenure at USC was supposed to start with a fifteen point loss to the Mercer Bears in the home opener. Mercer is a force, no doubt. Just last year, they almost beat the Lipscomb Bisons in the second round of the Atlantic Sun Conference tournament. The Trojans were probably caught looking ahead to their game against The Citadel.
Apparently, the Fighting Illini have more fight in them than the Fought Irish. While ND was losing to the service academies for second consecutive week, the Illini won before 105,000 at the Horseshoe to upset the Buckeyes. The Buckeyes have not lost any regular season games in nearly three years. Lloyd Carr is already on the phone to Ron Zook because he can never win in Columbus with much better teams. He gets them in Ann Arbor next week but he never beats OSU at the Big House either.
More clear evidence that this is 4th Century Rome with Attila and the boys tailgating in the parking lot: In court last week, I hate to say it, absolutely hate to write it, but OJ appeared to be the most credible guy in court with that ignominious cast of hooligans. The attorney and witnesses were straight off of the Jerry Springer Show. The victim was so “terrified” that the first thing he did was sell the tape recording of the assault to tabloid TV BEFORE he called the police. Why was he recording the “surprise” assault anyway? Though, I must say I was impressed with the Las Vegas Judge sporting a pony tail and porn star facial hair. I could watch this on Court TV 24/7.
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
I enjoy those Game Changing Moments spots by Pontiac that are shown on ESPN about seventy-five times a day. There were so many great plays this college football season. They constantly show that touchdown pass by Stanford to upset USC a few weeks back. It was an amazing play but I guess it depends on your perspective. I have many friends who hate those spots.
It was nice that Bruin Basketball began and Bruin Football ended on the same weekend this year. I hate when my false hopes for football linger into the Holiday Season. The Football team has already agreed to play two more meaningless games, try to mess up the BCS, give Karl Dorrell $750,000 and send him back to the NFL. The Basketball team hopefully will still be playing during the Easter Season.
The Orange Bowl Stadium is being demolished. When I heard the news, it felt like an uncle I never met had died. Miami’s 1st National Championship upset win over Nebraska in 1984, Joe Willie Namath delivering on his prediction against the favored Colts in 1969, and Doug Flutie’s Hail Mary pass all happened on that hallowed sod. Why do they get rid of a great stadium with such a rich history, creaky seats and trough urinals and we still have the Coliseum?
I liken the Kobe situation with the Lakers to the Cuban Missile Crisis. Certainly, that seminal moment of the Cold War will be studied more in the years ahead. Like the Kobe situation, those moments were about posturing, rhetoric and threats. In the end, everyone backed down, saved face and then saved the world or at least Southern Florida. Ok, maybe it is not the same and maybe Kobe has more hair and flair than Nikita Khrushchev and for sure the Buss Family singers are not in the Kennedy’s stratosphere. But can we all just hope everyone shuts up, finds a way to save face, pulls their finger away from the trigger and saves the Lakers? I want to hear about winning not whining.
I do not think the much heralded OJ Mayo tenure at USC was supposed to start with a fifteen point loss to the Mercer Bears in the home opener. Mercer is a force, no doubt. Just last year, they almost beat the Lipscomb Bisons in the second round of the Atlantic Sun Conference tournament. The Trojans were probably caught looking ahead to their game against The Citadel.
Apparently, the Fighting Illini have more fight in them than the Fought Irish. While ND was losing to the service academies for second consecutive week, the Illini won before 105,000 at the Horseshoe to upset the Buckeyes. The Buckeyes have not lost any regular season games in nearly three years. Lloyd Carr is already on the phone to Ron Zook because he can never win in Columbus with much better teams. He gets them in Ann Arbor next week but he never beats OSU at the Big House either.
More clear evidence that this is 4th Century Rome with Attila and the boys tailgating in the parking lot: In court last week, I hate to say it, absolutely hate to write it, but OJ appeared to be the most credible guy in court with that ignominious cast of hooligans. The attorney and witnesses were straight off of the Jerry Springer Show. The victim was so “terrified” that the first thing he did was sell the tape recording of the assault to tabloid TV BEFORE he called the police. Why was he recording the “surprise” assault anyway? Though, I must say I was impressed with the Las Vegas Judge sporting a pony tail and porn star facial hair. I could watch this on Court TV 24/7.
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
Saturday, November 3, 2007
The Red Sox Issue
This is the Red Sox Issue. I am just having some fun with this. I am working on a blog, http://tonyattheyard.blogspot.com/. But it is just for fun not profit unless Google tells me that I can earn .000732 cents per view. Then I am selling all your names off to the highest bidder, quitting the 7-11 gig and moving to Montana with all the other bloggers. I welcome your comments and feel free to circulate this widely. If you want to unsubscribe, write to my attention P.O. Box 41-677 LA 90041, be specific and include $2 for shipping and handling.
It was a rough week for Duane “Dog” Chapman. It really blows when your son sells a tape of you on the phone using the “N” word to those bastards at the Enquirer. The public outing by your mutant spawn gets you suspended from your TV show. Oh really A&E, you hire a redneck hillbilly who dresses like the white Mr. T, who you film invading foreign nations to bring back cosmetic heir serial rapists bail jumpers and you are now outraged to hear that he dropped an N-bomb? Hell, he broke seven international laws, spent two weeks in a Mexican prison and those were just the crimes you got on film! I do not condone that language but A&E do you draw the line there? Now, Mr. Chapman swears he is a Christian and not a racist. And now the racists and the Christians are both outraged for completely different reasons. Does it not seem like Rome circa 476 AD in this country?
When the Democrats were hammering Mukasey about his opinion on “water-boarding”, I thought easy on the retired federal judge. Water-boarding sounded like something fun with scantily clad women, hooting and hollering, kegs of beer and classic rock. I guess I was wrong on that one.
The Red Sox win 7 in a row after falling behind 3-1 to the Indians. Rockies needed to keep playing. Taking eight days off after winning 27 in a row was NOT a much needed rest.
I want to hang with Manny. Manran is one loopy dude. You just know he is thinking about Sponge Bob Square Pants or Count Chocula right before he connects with a 98 mph slider and sends a Pershing II into the upper deck. I bet he has a fun house with a well stocked fridge.
Red Sox majority owner, John Henry, is creepy. I would not want to hang with him. He has that pasty, Lurch look and you know he never played baseball. He had security keeping the players away from him during the clubhouse celebration. I would think the owner would want to get doused in champagne and enjoy the event. It looked like they put the players in a plastic aquarium so they could observe their behavior during a celebration. I am thinking a guy who is wearing $350 leather gloves during the event, can afford to replace them. Loved the blue goggles on the players. To the victors, go the spoils.
Does it seem every time a player is the MVP of the Super Bowl or the World Series, they are in the last year of a contract? The questions are always, “Mike, amazing series, have you given any thought to where you are going to play next year?”
The Red Sox had best pass on A-Rod and re-sign Lowell to whatever he wants and it is not $350 million. Lowell probably signs for about 10% of that number. He batted .324 with 21 bombs, 120 RBI’s and had zero photo-ops with strippers in Toronto.
A-Clod will never be happy in the Chowder Bowl and they will hate him after he bounces into his second one-out double play with the bases jacked. I hope he comes to LA. We are very Diva-ready here. Our cherished Dodgers have won one playoff game in the last 20 years so the bar is set real low. We rarely boo the hometown stud. We come late, leave early, and talk on our cell phones throughout the game. LA is a wonderful sports town, just ask the Ram and the Raiders. And Mrs. A-Clod is almost as big a load as Victoria Beckham so that will be a great cat fight in the pages of US and Star.
J.D. Drew, do you get your soul back from the devil after you retire? Boston is less forgiving than LA and we hated you. Fenway’s legions crucified your passive, malingerer BS until you delivered that grand slam against the Tribe. Now you will be forever memorialized in Boston folklore! I did not see that one coming but Billy Buckner is pleased. His personal highlight reel from the 1986 series just might not be played before every Red Sox Playoff game.
And in the end, the second highest paid team finally took down the #23 and #25 salaried teams. The Red Sox’s payroll is $20 million more than the Rockies and Indians combined payrolls. The Sox did not pay Slingblade Drew $15 million to hit 11 regular season HR’s. They bought that epic grand slam against the Indians. They did not pay Curt Schilling $13 million to win 9 regular season games. He was paid to be there in October to win 3 crucial play-off games. Spending all that money to win it all only makes sense when you factor in Bostenomics. They will get the money back in baseball cap sales by Christmas time. Ever see anyone around town with a Rockie cap?
Last thought: Native Americans apparently are outraged by the rather jovial, smiling Indian face on the Cleveland Indian’s uniform. They find that characterization of a Native America demeaning. At the same time, said people are ok with the Washington Redskin’s rather noble characterization of an Indian Chief on their uniform. Maybe it is just me, but which team name do you find more demeaning, Indians or Redskins?
Tony at the yard
It was a rough week for Duane “Dog” Chapman. It really blows when your son sells a tape of you on the phone using the “N” word to those bastards at the Enquirer. The public outing by your mutant spawn gets you suspended from your TV show. Oh really A&E, you hire a redneck hillbilly who dresses like the white Mr. T, who you film invading foreign nations to bring back cosmetic heir serial rapists bail jumpers and you are now outraged to hear that he dropped an N-bomb? Hell, he broke seven international laws, spent two weeks in a Mexican prison and those were just the crimes you got on film! I do not condone that language but A&E do you draw the line there? Now, Mr. Chapman swears he is a Christian and not a racist. And now the racists and the Christians are both outraged for completely different reasons. Does it not seem like Rome circa 476 AD in this country?
When the Democrats were hammering Mukasey about his opinion on “water-boarding”, I thought easy on the retired federal judge. Water-boarding sounded like something fun with scantily clad women, hooting and hollering, kegs of beer and classic rock. I guess I was wrong on that one.
The Red Sox win 7 in a row after falling behind 3-1 to the Indians. Rockies needed to keep playing. Taking eight days off after winning 27 in a row was NOT a much needed rest.
I want to hang with Manny. Manran is one loopy dude. You just know he is thinking about Sponge Bob Square Pants or Count Chocula right before he connects with a 98 mph slider and sends a Pershing II into the upper deck. I bet he has a fun house with a well stocked fridge.
Red Sox majority owner, John Henry, is creepy. I would not want to hang with him. He has that pasty, Lurch look and you know he never played baseball. He had security keeping the players away from him during the clubhouse celebration. I would think the owner would want to get doused in champagne and enjoy the event. It looked like they put the players in a plastic aquarium so they could observe their behavior during a celebration. I am thinking a guy who is wearing $350 leather gloves during the event, can afford to replace them. Loved the blue goggles on the players. To the victors, go the spoils.
Does it seem every time a player is the MVP of the Super Bowl or the World Series, they are in the last year of a contract? The questions are always, “Mike, amazing series, have you given any thought to where you are going to play next year?”
The Red Sox had best pass on A-Rod and re-sign Lowell to whatever he wants and it is not $350 million. Lowell probably signs for about 10% of that number. He batted .324 with 21 bombs, 120 RBI’s and had zero photo-ops with strippers in Toronto.
A-Clod will never be happy in the Chowder Bowl and they will hate him after he bounces into his second one-out double play with the bases jacked. I hope he comes to LA. We are very Diva-ready here. Our cherished Dodgers have won one playoff game in the last 20 years so the bar is set real low. We rarely boo the hometown stud. We come late, leave early, and talk on our cell phones throughout the game. LA is a wonderful sports town, just ask the Ram and the Raiders. And Mrs. A-Clod is almost as big a load as Victoria Beckham so that will be a great cat fight in the pages of US and Star.
J.D. Drew, do you get your soul back from the devil after you retire? Boston is less forgiving than LA and we hated you. Fenway’s legions crucified your passive, malingerer BS until you delivered that grand slam against the Tribe. Now you will be forever memorialized in Boston folklore! I did not see that one coming but Billy Buckner is pleased. His personal highlight reel from the 1986 series just might not be played before every Red Sox Playoff game.
And in the end, the second highest paid team finally took down the #23 and #25 salaried teams. The Red Sox’s payroll is $20 million more than the Rockies and Indians combined payrolls. The Sox did not pay Slingblade Drew $15 million to hit 11 regular season HR’s. They bought that epic grand slam against the Indians. They did not pay Curt Schilling $13 million to win 9 regular season games. He was paid to be there in October to win 3 crucial play-off games. Spending all that money to win it all only makes sense when you factor in Bostenomics. They will get the money back in baseball cap sales by Christmas time. Ever see anyone around town with a Rockie cap?
Last thought: Native Americans apparently are outraged by the rather jovial, smiling Indian face on the Cleveland Indian’s uniform. They find that characterization of a Native America demeaning. At the same time, said people are ok with the Washington Redskin’s rather noble characterization of an Indian Chief on their uniform. Maybe it is just me, but which team name do you find more demeaning, Indians or Redskins?
Tony at the yard
Monday, October 29, 2007
The Death of the 2007 Season
The 2007 College Football Season died in Los Angeles around 6:30 PM Saturday afternoon. All that is left is some meaningful games against conference opponents and USC repaying the past eleven months from that 13-9 aberration. I loved every moment but payback is the ultimate biatch and we look prime for the spit.
Pete Carroll is still the best coach in the Pac-10 and probably the country. He works harder, recruits better, takes his lumps and deals with demanding alumni with candor and purpose. I can only hope that he has a Birkenstock moment and decides to work for UCLA for half of what he is now getting, actually maybe 35%. Pedro, we are a little closer to your home and you could go 8-3 every year and be a hero in Westwood.
Karl Dorrell has reached the pinnacle of his coaching career and I am glad we were all here to see an alumni come back and lead his alma mater back from the abyss to comfortable mediocrity. Karl needs to be a receiver’s coach somewhere, not the head coach at UCLA. Dan Guerrero had no choice, he fired Toledo and Lavin, and our debt ridden, fire ravaged state could only afford so much state budget for head football coaches. I hope everyone feels sorry for us. We did hire Ben Howland and now he is the highest paid state employee.
College football is all about the quarterback. There are not any great teams with a bad quarterback. Kids are better trained, coached and developed than twenty years ago. More great QB’s are playing at more schools. The guy that used to be 4th string at USC is now helping Appalachian State beat Michigan. The guy that used to be 2nd string at UCLA is now helping Utah State beat UCLA.
There is a correlation on why USC has played for National Championships and won a few. They have two Heisman trophy winning quarterbacks among the elite in the NFL. The only QB the Bruins have in the NFL, is playing wide receiver for the 0-8 St. Louis Rams. BTW: Is Georgia Frontiere negotiating with Anaheim to bring the Rams back now that they suck and no one goes to the games? She married well seven times and she taught Carroll Rosenbloom how to swim in the Carolina surf. She is worth $400 million and she goes by the name of the derelict dancer, ticket scalper that she married after Carroll drowned in the ocean while she slapped on SPF 30 a hundred feet away…You go, girl!
There is parity in college and it is messing with the BCS. This could be the year where it does not all fall into place on December 2. I can not remember a season where so many higher ranked teams were underdogs to their opponents. 85 scholarships helps with parity but it is also about 18-22 year olds making tough decisions while throwing into Cover 2 on the road while rushed by a 275 pound Biology major who has 4.3 speed. And it is all documented on ESPN, ESPN2, Fox, and the Ocho. I made some bad decisions in college and I do not recall any of them costing the Bruins a bowl bid. My parents did get to meet some rather hostile Glendale Police officers but I think we expunged ….ah..er.. we worked that out.
Do we really care about the steroid controversy in baseball? It is not my body and lord knows…well that is another story about College in the 70’s but I want to see 450 ft. home runs when I go to the game. I appreciate a 2-1 game but nothing says HGH, like a bomb into the parking lot.
The masses went to see Mark McGuire hit 70 home runs, Sammy hit 66 and Barry hit 75. If their liver is going to explode and their balls fall off, that would be terrible, but do that in the privacy of your doctor’s office. I want you to bang it out of the yard.
We all knew something was in the flax seed oil but WTF, it was fun. Bud Selig knew, every owner did Bud while you owned the Milwaukee Brewers, you made an absolute ton of money through revenue sharing, the Fox TV contract, and that surreal Sausage Race. I am sure that you crafted at least the Sausage Race, Bud? You seem so fun and creative. I digress, Budster, you did the wave all along with the hoopla and excitement in baseball with circus freaks hitting 625 foot homeruns bringing the fans back to the park after a horrific strike. And then you leveraged that into becoming the commissioner of baseball. And then Pope Bud, you quietly sold the team for a fortune and now you are morally outraged about what went on while you were an owner?
I am not sure any of us wanted to see Barry hit more home runs than Hank but we were happy to watch. You would invite Hank Aaron to speak to your children. You would encourage your children not to behave like Barry Bonds.
I think the penalty for steroid use in baseball should be that your ex-girlfriend strips in Playboy and tells the world that you suck in bed and your testicles have shrunk because you took steroids. Oh wait, Kim Bell just did that to Barry. He will be found guilty of perjury and tax evasion not illegal steroid use. Regardless, his ex-mistress says he has small balls. Keep your $17 million but I walk tall in the locker room, Barroid!
Pete Carroll is still the best coach in the Pac-10 and probably the country. He works harder, recruits better, takes his lumps and deals with demanding alumni with candor and purpose. I can only hope that he has a Birkenstock moment and decides to work for UCLA for half of what he is now getting, actually maybe 35%. Pedro, we are a little closer to your home and you could go 8-3 every year and be a hero in Westwood.
Karl Dorrell has reached the pinnacle of his coaching career and I am glad we were all here to see an alumni come back and lead his alma mater back from the abyss to comfortable mediocrity. Karl needs to be a receiver’s coach somewhere, not the head coach at UCLA. Dan Guerrero had no choice, he fired Toledo and Lavin, and our debt ridden, fire ravaged state could only afford so much state budget for head football coaches. I hope everyone feels sorry for us. We did hire Ben Howland and now he is the highest paid state employee.
College football is all about the quarterback. There are not any great teams with a bad quarterback. Kids are better trained, coached and developed than twenty years ago. More great QB’s are playing at more schools. The guy that used to be 4th string at USC is now helping Appalachian State beat Michigan. The guy that used to be 2nd string at UCLA is now helping Utah State beat UCLA.
There is a correlation on why USC has played for National Championships and won a few. They have two Heisman trophy winning quarterbacks among the elite in the NFL. The only QB the Bruins have in the NFL, is playing wide receiver for the 0-8 St. Louis Rams. BTW: Is Georgia Frontiere negotiating with Anaheim to bring the Rams back now that they suck and no one goes to the games? She married well seven times and she taught Carroll Rosenbloom how to swim in the Carolina surf. She is worth $400 million and she goes by the name of the derelict dancer, ticket scalper that she married after Carroll drowned in the ocean while she slapped on SPF 30 a hundred feet away…You go, girl!
There is parity in college and it is messing with the BCS. This could be the year where it does not all fall into place on December 2. I can not remember a season where so many higher ranked teams were underdogs to their opponents. 85 scholarships helps with parity but it is also about 18-22 year olds making tough decisions while throwing into Cover 2 on the road while rushed by a 275 pound Biology major who has 4.3 speed. And it is all documented on ESPN, ESPN2, Fox, and the Ocho. I made some bad decisions in college and I do not recall any of them costing the Bruins a bowl bid. My parents did get to meet some rather hostile Glendale Police officers but I think we expunged ….ah..er.. we worked that out.
Do we really care about the steroid controversy in baseball? It is not my body and lord knows…well that is another story about College in the 70’s but I want to see 450 ft. home runs when I go to the game. I appreciate a 2-1 game but nothing says HGH, like a bomb into the parking lot.
The masses went to see Mark McGuire hit 70 home runs, Sammy hit 66 and Barry hit 75. If their liver is going to explode and their balls fall off, that would be terrible, but do that in the privacy of your doctor’s office. I want you to bang it out of the yard.
We all knew something was in the flax seed oil but WTF, it was fun. Bud Selig knew, every owner did Bud while you owned the Milwaukee Brewers, you made an absolute ton of money through revenue sharing, the Fox TV contract, and that surreal Sausage Race. I am sure that you crafted at least the Sausage Race, Bud? You seem so fun and creative. I digress, Budster, you did the wave all along with the hoopla and excitement in baseball with circus freaks hitting 625 foot homeruns bringing the fans back to the park after a horrific strike. And then you leveraged that into becoming the commissioner of baseball. And then Pope Bud, you quietly sold the team for a fortune and now you are morally outraged about what went on while you were an owner?
I am not sure any of us wanted to see Barry hit more home runs than Hank but we were happy to watch. You would invite Hank Aaron to speak to your children. You would encourage your children not to behave like Barry Bonds.
I think the penalty for steroid use in baseball should be that your ex-girlfriend strips in Playboy and tells the world that you suck in bed and your testicles have shrunk because you took steroids. Oh wait, Kim Bell just did that to Barry. He will be found guilty of perjury and tax evasion not illegal steroid use. Regardless, his ex-mistress says he has small balls. Keep your $17 million but I walk tall in the locker room, Barroid!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
From the yard
Sunday, October 28, 2007
I was sitting in front of my 437 inch, 13,058 DPI Plasma LCD HD Surround sound home theater sports pig viewing system last Sunday afternoon wondering why I am watching the Raiders and the Chargers while the game of the season is on in Dallas. Dick Enberg constantly reminded me that once this dog of a game is over we will cut you immediately to the Dallas-New England game. They should have cut to that game at 1:15 PM. Both games ended up being dogs. But then I reminded myself that earlier that morning Meg Ryan and then Gwenyth Paltrow, took off their tops within fifteen minutes before 7:00 AM during some no-name movie called Flesh and Bones. So what are you going to do, some days are like that.
When are we going to have the family Buss on a reality TV show? I mean is there any more dysfunctional and entertaining family in all of sports ownership? The good Dr. Jerry dresses like he is a lounge act in Laughlin and gets DUI’s with girls 50 years younger than him. Jeanne dates the team’s head coach and has stripped for Playboy. And if you took Jim Buss, put him in Lancaster, you would think he would know where to get Crystal Meth for sure! Nice job Jer, when the Kobe situation starts to quiet down, you lob a grenade into the mess on the first day of practice. Doc, you think anyone is going to care about you, your wacky family or the Lakers if you trade Kobe?
Trojan Nation, forget the wheels, where is the cart? All is not well in Troy. You should have hoped Cal would be unbeaten when you play them. UofA is awful and you played at home. Trojans will lose another. Release your hotel reservations in New Orleans, get your deposit back. San Diego is nice that time of year and that is where you are probably headed. The Rose Bowl will not want you either. Cal or Oregon will be in Pasadena.
With all the fall out on Joe Torre getting whacked, I was shocked to find out that Karl Dorrell actually makes more money than Grady Little. I am not a big fan of either but did anyone know that?
Why aren’t the Irish up in arms about Notre Dame being called the Fighting Irish? I can tell you if there were the Fighting Mexicans or the Fighting Pakastani’s, people would be upset. Once the pubs close, the Irish will get up in arms about this I am sure.
Rockies, hop on the band wagon, you did not go during the regular season with the stadium rarely over half full but you will all be there Wednesday night. They have beat Cy Young winners, righties, lefties, at home, on the road, hell the Snakes made them change their lucky road jerseys for the first game of the series, because they could, and they still thumped them! Game 5 of the World Series is on Monday October 29 and the Bronco’s will be hosting the Packers for MNF about 1 mile away. I think waiting eight days to play the first World Series game will be their death knell.
The Indians are going to lose to the Sox in Boston. Any team that would have Josh Beckett’s ex-girlfriend sing the National Anthem right before he gets set to pitch a critical game 5 at the Jake, deserves to lose. That is just wrong, right guys.
Bobby Knight, Dean Smith and Billy Donovan are the only coaches who also played in the Final Four as players. Knight and Smith won as players, so there Billy. My Bruins will be back there this year and hopefully you are in Gainesville watching on your big screen and mine is probably bigger so double there!
Before we all cry for Joe Torre, he was the highest paid manager in baseball by double the next closest guy. Even if accepted the paltry $5 million that the Yankees so disingenuously offered him this year, he would make $1.5 million more than the next highest paid, the always, affable Lou Pinella.
To anyone I offended about the winning the breastage lottery last Sunday morning, I was a surprised by the event as you might have been by my comments. For the five guys I know area headed to Blockbuster, Flesh and Bones.
Tony from the yard……
I was sitting in front of my 437 inch, 13,058 DPI Plasma LCD HD Surround sound home theater sports pig viewing system last Sunday afternoon wondering why I am watching the Raiders and the Chargers while the game of the season is on in Dallas. Dick Enberg constantly reminded me that once this dog of a game is over we will cut you immediately to the Dallas-New England game. They should have cut to that game at 1:15 PM. Both games ended up being dogs. But then I reminded myself that earlier that morning Meg Ryan and then Gwenyth Paltrow, took off their tops within fifteen minutes before 7:00 AM during some no-name movie called Flesh and Bones. So what are you going to do, some days are like that.
When are we going to have the family Buss on a reality TV show? I mean is there any more dysfunctional and entertaining family in all of sports ownership? The good Dr. Jerry dresses like he is a lounge act in Laughlin and gets DUI’s with girls 50 years younger than him. Jeanne dates the team’s head coach and has stripped for Playboy. And if you took Jim Buss, put him in Lancaster, you would think he would know where to get Crystal Meth for sure! Nice job Jer, when the Kobe situation starts to quiet down, you lob a grenade into the mess on the first day of practice. Doc, you think anyone is going to care about you, your wacky family or the Lakers if you trade Kobe?
Trojan Nation, forget the wheels, where is the cart? All is not well in Troy. You should have hoped Cal would be unbeaten when you play them. UofA is awful and you played at home. Trojans will lose another. Release your hotel reservations in New Orleans, get your deposit back. San Diego is nice that time of year and that is where you are probably headed. The Rose Bowl will not want you either. Cal or Oregon will be in Pasadena.
With all the fall out on Joe Torre getting whacked, I was shocked to find out that Karl Dorrell actually makes more money than Grady Little. I am not a big fan of either but did anyone know that?
Why aren’t the Irish up in arms about Notre Dame being called the Fighting Irish? I can tell you if there were the Fighting Mexicans or the Fighting Pakastani’s, people would be upset. Once the pubs close, the Irish will get up in arms about this I am sure.
Rockies, hop on the band wagon, you did not go during the regular season with the stadium rarely over half full but you will all be there Wednesday night. They have beat Cy Young winners, righties, lefties, at home, on the road, hell the Snakes made them change their lucky road jerseys for the first game of the series, because they could, and they still thumped them! Game 5 of the World Series is on Monday October 29 and the Bronco’s will be hosting the Packers for MNF about 1 mile away. I think waiting eight days to play the first World Series game will be their death knell.
The Indians are going to lose to the Sox in Boston. Any team that would have Josh Beckett’s ex-girlfriend sing the National Anthem right before he gets set to pitch a critical game 5 at the Jake, deserves to lose. That is just wrong, right guys.
Bobby Knight, Dean Smith and Billy Donovan are the only coaches who also played in the Final Four as players. Knight and Smith won as players, so there Billy. My Bruins will be back there this year and hopefully you are in Gainesville watching on your big screen and mine is probably bigger so double there!
Before we all cry for Joe Torre, he was the highest paid manager in baseball by double the next closest guy. Even if accepted the paltry $5 million that the Yankees so disingenuously offered him this year, he would make $1.5 million more than the next highest paid, the always, affable Lou Pinella.
To anyone I offended about the winning the breastage lottery last Sunday morning, I was a surprised by the event as you might have been by my comments. For the five guys I know area headed to Blockbuster, Flesh and Bones.
Tony from the yard……
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